*hard counters 90% of all zombie apocalypses in media*

buzzwords

Amazing comeback.

Zombies are the ultimate siege weapon. They would effortlessly starve out any poor soul who thought it was a good idea to hole up in a castle

Spears are probably the worst melee weapon against zombies. At most you could keep one at a distance and you might not even stop their advance as they can just be stabbed at keep pushing their bodies down the pole. You need something that hacks or cripples limbs that can be swung with high force.

*solves the walking dead*

You can easily stab someone in the head. But to your point, spears would probably work best in stalling or pinning them, so your buddy can bash their head in safely.

So does literally any machine gun

Stabbing them won't kill the zombies. Would work great against the infected from 28 days later.

Most zombie apocalypses have zombies work in giant herds that overwhelm people, you would get btfo instantly

They would starve to death and die. They have to eat right? They are moving around, heart beating, etc. Also for this reason they would just eat each other.

Meh. How many headshots can you really get off with a machine gun before they have surrounded you or at least forced you to move position.

As long as you got gasoline!

*solves the walking dead*

you people really need to stop overthinking things, seriously.

the zombies in twd are capable of ripping horses apart with their bare hands

Depends. Romero zombies (ex. Living Dead movies, The Walking Dead) are literal walking corpses. Their hearts aren't beating, their lungs aren't breathing. So they don't need food. But the more realistic 28 Days Later-style infected, yes, they would starve. But a lot of people argue that Romero zombies are the only true ones

you still need to come down to grow your food smart guy
and what if a horde sees you and surround you?

Shitty writing can counter any defense.

Did WWZ have the most terrifying zombies?

Living zombies would die from blood loss, bad weather, infected wounds, or dehydration long before starvation.

I should get into bruhurt but I wont want to end up lobotimized

No one said you have to stand your ground indefinetely. You can easily run away in plate armor and it would offer great protection. Even against fluids. Medieval weapons are more often than not focused on penetrating hard surfaces and bashing heads in from a distance. Pretty ideal.

Machine guns can rip tissue apart so even if it's not head shots, you can render a crowd of Zs immobile

Has that ever happened? Don't be a pussy. Can't be worse than doing i.e. Muay Thai.

Getting swung at by axes? Breaking bones suck ass bud

Or being so weak a zed lets a young boy get away scot-free...then that same zombie disembowels a grown man an episode later

That's what the plate armor and gambeson are for.

Retard. Spear formations work because humans tend to avoid dying
Zombies will just push into your spears, most likely breaking them. At most you'll spear 3 of them at once while the others keep coming. Actually even the ones impaled on spears will continue pushing forward

Supposedly spear formations also lose against infantry with swords and shields. I think the Macedonian phalanxes did poorly against Romans partially because of that, partially because Romans fought some battles against them in uneven terrain, which broke their cohesion.

I think the Spanish also employed men with swords and bucklers against pike formations, but these soldiers would again be vulnerable against cavalry... Niccolo Machiavelli also claims in his The art of war dialogue that pikes are weak against swords and shields. He was however, not a military man and he freely admits that.

So now there's a massive zombie army? And you were berating that anon for moving the goal post..

The book, yes. The movie, no.

first two iines are impaling zombies, other are aiming heads.
Problem solved

You are a bit off the mark in all of these. The Romans beat the Macedonians by flanking them in their checkers formation. They got absolutely wrecked facing them head on and the commander called the phalanx the scariest thing he has ever seen.

The Rodeleros were very small compartments of an actual pike block and used to break a deadlock. They weren't used as entirely independent units. Their track record is mixed. They worked really well in some situations but got wrecked by more disciplined pikemen and cavalry. The concept was discontinued after a few decades.

Right, thanks for corrections.

easy, I grow my food at the top of the ladder.

The whole point of zombie apocalypses is that it occurs suddenly, shocks everyone, a lot of the capable people are killed off during the chaos, there are no supplies, and certainly no steel armor. If you have abundant time to prepare then yeah, you could come up with any number of hard counters. In WWZ, they do use armor and castles in Europe since there's plenty lying around as museum pieces

Zombie media can't survive a setting where drones dropping bombs is real. It's over zombiebros

1000 zombies

Fucking no creature bigger than an insect on the planet Earth can survive under 1000 zombies.
Why is this always the argument against wearing protection in a zombie scenario?

theory: wearing armour would protect you against zombie bites and claws

you and a million other dunning kruger shitheads: HURR DURR WELL WHAT GOOD WOULD YOUR ARMOUR DO YOU IF YOU WERE DOGPILED BY A MILLION BAJILLION ZOMBIES AND YOU LITERALLY COULD NOT BREATHE, MOVE, OR ANYTHING

I don't know I guess you'd FUCKING DIE

You're the retard on the playground in every game of kids' pretend games who would yell WELL I HAVE A SHIELD or some shit

believe it or not but most zombie apocalypses in media are unrealistic when you consider that somehow slow shamblers are able to overwhelm, for example, the entire U.S armed apparatus despite them having, in their arsenal, tanks, mortars, howitzers and artillery, napalm, close air support, nuclear weapons of varying intensity, et al.

but they're a giant horde

true, however zombies do not have the wherewithal to build bunkers, fox-holes, to move out of the line of fire of strafing planes dropping high-yield bombs and raining 20mm cannon fire on them.

Read WWZ.

WWZ

where all the humans act as inhumanly retarded as possible and give the zombies every single concession the author can think of so they can overwhelm army blockades

proving anon's point

This will be painful for you to realize, but you are that kid
Your only goal is to go "nuh uh actually I'm invincible to zombies"
You will now desperately try to cope. I'm out, see ya

a piece of fiction doesn't deny the fact that a couple strafing runs from a single multi-role fighter would decimate an entire horde of zombies, all clumped together. lack of preparedness, chaos, surprise, it doesn't matter. you need only a single pilot and a single plane.

You just got called out and you're closing the tab in terror. Think of a scenario in which some zombies can take out a medieval warrior in full kit. Instead, the only thing you can think of is one where said medieval warrior is literally already dead in a completely unsurvivable situation that no human would be in unless they were actively committing suicide. I accept your concession.

No problem, friend.

zombie horde rolls up to an army checkpoint

none of the soldiers can aim because the author crippled them with bulky equipment and shitty weapons because reasons

virtually none of the heavy weaponry is used because reasons

zero physical obstacles that are used to control actual rioting crowds in real life are used because reasons

army gets rolled over because they're just standing out in the open doing pretty much nothing but enable a horde of zombies to walk over them

you: uhh read wwz? read wwz? as you can see in the battle of yonkers military might is useless....
shut up

Would be useless against a billion zombies. You wouldn't make it two days in a zombie apocalypse, chump.

A staffing run would be useless against anything more than like 5 zombies, because you gotta hit them directly to vaporize them
They don't care about shrapnel, or burns, or overpressure in their brains

Zombies would run out of calories after running around for a few days and then would drop dead. zombie media is so fucking stupid

That's why it only works if they're supernatural

annihilates zombies

This will be painful for you to realize, but you are that kid

Your only goal is to go "nuh uh actually I'm invincible to zombies"

but you know, zombies aren't real?
grow up!

Zombies would run out of calories after running around for a few days

you know even alive healthy humans can fast for 40 days and be ok?
Zombies' metabolysm consumes a tiny fraction of humans' due to everything except locomotive functions being halted.

Just kidding. Fuck you. I'm still right. You're still wrong.

...to think that I called you friend, you caniving villain.

I like how pretty much every zombie media ignores that every car is a weapon. zombies don't suddenly stop having bones or muscles.

there's like 20 million semi trucks alone in america. imagine getting smashed by a semi truck or a tractor. being alive doesn't matter if every bone in your body is shattered. someone with a welder could weld up a custom cattle guard in a few hours.

granted that wouldn't make for a very good apocalypse movie, but still.

Cars would stop working after 6 months because the gas would degrade, so what you're saying doesn't apply to the majority of zombie media

We have electric cars now dude

American zombies can fast for at least 300 days. They have a lot of stored calories

>where all the humans act as inhumanly retarded

impying this is only a thing in fiction

heh, well luckily the dead reanimating is the fictional part for now

In the walking dead it was explained that the military largely deserted their posts to be with their families and the confusion and chaos led to the break down of command structure and the confusion and chaos resulted in the collapse of humanity

They're not ignored. In city stories, the roads are usually jammed up and trucks can't go anywhere. They also have trouble getting keys. Their mission is usually to find those keys and get the truck onto the road which finishes the story. In rural stories, they also generally have access to trucks but either crash for various reasons or run out of gas and try to find a station or shelter

you could run them off bio-ethanol

95% of humanity will not be using these zombie apocalypse life hacks you're coming up with. Yeah armor makes sense and no (You) are not going to use it and will die like the retards you see in movies. Only I will use the advice in this thread. Because I'm smarter and cooler than you.

I have intricately studied all zombie movies for the past ten years. I am a master of zombies. I have stockpiled a decades worth of supplies to outlast any zombies and become a king warlord. All of you will rue the time you wasted fucking pussies instead of studying the undead. You will come to my fortress begging me to save you and I'll whisper, no.

A body can't move if its bones are pulverized by the shockwave of a bombing run.

And the electricity will be generated by infinite energy zombies on a treadmill

The virus causes the body's internal fluids to coagulate so they're not vulnerable to shockwave pressures except directly at the impact point, which greatly reduces the effectiveness of bombs to the point they're not worth the effort

theres a reason all the zombie movies start after shit is completely fucked. any zombie outbreak would be immediately squashed by tracked vehicles and small arms.

last i checked, fire burns people.

I'm talking about their bones themselves breaking.
Muscles can only move when articulated against a bone.
A zombie with its bones smashed by the concussive force of a MOAB, can't move because its musculature doesn't have leverage.

Nah. The vehicles need gas and logistics are fucked. No one has ever heard of a zombie and their guns don't work since they shoot center mass and zombies aren't scared. Also, the zombies are made with trioxyn and are unkillable, smart, and fast

Why does no one ever use MMA in a zombie move, specifically BJJ? You would practically be untouchable.

based necromancer

block you're path

thats true but things would never devolve to the point of bombing urban centers. can just send platoons door to door.

I enjoyed both of these posts.

1488

Why would we listen to anything you say? You're Hitler posting from inside the blockchain where they uploaded your consciousness to after thawing out your brain which they saved after you died peacefully of old age in Argentina in 1972!