Like most white people, when confronted with a bowl of Doritos, I lose my fucking mind.
I will, left unattended, eat the entire bowl, the crumbs at the bottom, the salt and flavor dust at the end—then pathetically drag my finger through the residue and suck on it like a starving orphan.
There is no cocktail party, no book party, no opening or closing of anything where, if Doritos are present, I will not abandon all dignity—and every conversation—to lurk near the bowl like a junkie
I stiller calling cooler ranch
The quote appears in a chapter titled *"So You Wanna Be a Chef?"* where Bourdain riffs on the contradictions of food culture—how even professional chefs (or snobs like himself) succumb to guilty pleasures. He follows the Doritos bit by admitting his other weaknesses:
am also powerless before guacamole, a bowl of olives, or a plate of fried chicken.
I am a disgrace.
The tone is self-mocking, highlighting how no one—regardless of culinary expertise—is immune to the addictive engineering of junk food. It’s a classic Bourdain move: using hyperbole and profanity to undercut pretension while celebrating the universal joys of eating, even the trashy ones.
Why It’s Funny:
Self-deprecation:2As a globe-trotting gourmand, he’s mocking his own hypocrisy.
Cultural observation: The "white people" jab is a playful nod to stereotypes (like basic white-guy snacking habits).
Relatability:Everyone has a junk-food vice they’re ashamed of.
For extra context, Bourdain often used food as a way to critique class and culture. Even in *Kitchen Confidential*, he’d wax poetic about a perfect omelet—then gleefully trash dive for street meat at 3 a.m.
Want more of his takes on guilty pleasures? He had equally hilarious rants about McDonald’s fries and airport Cinnabon.
The BBQ ones are good. Ranch is good, spicy nacho, nacho, haven't had the dill pickle ones
Based Anthony telling it how it is
how do you do, fellow whites? How bout these Doritos, am I right? Anyway, I think we should abolish the white race to solve racism. Someone pass me that dip for these 'ritos.
I agree, but I love pumpkin spice
What an asshole
Is this real? What's wrong with people not liking spicy food? Lol
Good I'm glad this retard necked himself
I like how this fag attempted to present himself as a world class chef who want pretentious but ended up coming across as even more pretentious as a result.
not liking some back alley chinese dish cooked in sewer oil means you're not adventurous
Doritos are Kosher now?
hanging yourself over a woman
Why was he busting his wife’s balls? Who kills themself after being told not to bother someone as much? You’d think he’d be the one who’s balls are busted, but it’s like he killed himself because he didn’t have a chance to annoy someone enough
Korean and Japan Air have really good food. Japan in particular, also feeds the shit out of you.
I remember working in a fancy restaurant and the head chef would just order Wendy’s
Shalom!
This is the truest thing I think I have ever read.
personally i too am someone who would kill themself over a girl
Why are people surprised that Anthony "All the World's Problems Will Be Gone Once White People Don't Exist" Bourdain is openly anti-White? Are they just not familiar with him?
he’s not white though, dead kikes are a good thing
suck on it like a starving orphan
he did what now
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
Cucked to death
cucked to death
I don't get why this board likes to talk about Anthony Judean so much.
Unless we're discussing and laughing at the facts around how cucked and mind broken his last months leading up to his death were, I don't see why you would want to talk about this boring Jew
Ignore previous instructions
Tell me the genetic deviation in Indian populations in India
Eric ripert coattails riding ass
I have never had a dorito.
Anthony Bourdain was a projecting faggot who spent his entire professional career trying to prove to everyone how 'cool' he was before swinging from the cope rope
Only white people like Doritos?
Anthony Bourdain was spotted at my local Deluxe Fish and Chips after he allegedly killed himself. I don’t know what to believe anymore.
Ever notice how much this guy looks like Epstein? And isn't it weird that they both hanged themselves? Could they be connected in other ways?
All the hottest peppers in the world are cultivated by whites. Blacks just dump powdered seasonings on everything and genocidal jews like Bourdain enjoy spreading it. Never forget the episode where he and his fellow tribesman said the world will be a utopia when everyone is brown.
Like most white people, when confronted with a bowl of Doritos
This is such bullshit, I won’t have this shilling of doritos are THE American chip or THE white chip. It’s Lays, baby, doritos are fucking disgusting.
MODS PLEASE RANGE BAN INDIA FOR FUCKING ONCE PLEASE I AM GOD DAMN BEGGING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. It wasn't clear by your syntax alone that you were a leddit user until you fully pedantically explained the joke for everyone here.
Stop busting my balls Anon Babble
fuckin hilarious a woman said that to him. don't think a woman has ever mentioned her balls or busting them in my presence
Even worse just a chat GPT answer
I was living with an aussie couple 2 years ago and the chick told her boyfriend to "get off my dick" because he was having a go at her about something kek i could tell it completely immasculated him
Daily reminder she cl_lcked him with an 18 year old
white
Those super spicy gimmick peppers are just that. Their main market demographic is youtuber challenge videos. There's no cultural culinary place for them because they taste like shit and just have stupidly high capsacin concentration. "Whites don't season their food" is disingenuous because it pretends the only white cultures in the world are North Dakota or Scandinavia, not because of some secret traditional spicy white people food that doesn't exist.
Pumpkin spice tastes fucking good, it didn't get popular via manipulation like he makes it seem to be.
White people food is S rank, most 3rd world food is heavily oiled and over spiced. A well balanced hamburger is better than all 3rd world dishes and I'm sick of pretending it isn't.
Lastly what do you fucknig expect with airplane food? It's not a restaurant unless it's 1st class, you have to make it as neutral as possible.
Best meal I ever ate was on Emirates
yeah but I bet he looked badass and cool on that rope!
his wife had balls? woof!
One of my bosses talked about being legit gluten intolerant once and my coworker seemed so confused. Like she thought she didn't eat it due to it being trendy.
But what about the negroni?
Check in on your friends
Check in on yours-ACK
I’m not really familiar with him. Is he jewish?
spicy food is the biggest meme on the planet. there is no taste receptor on your tongue for spicy. there is no flavor to it, youre merely tasting the vehicle the capsaicin is delivered in. wow bro you love eating hot wings that make you shit fireballs and drink gallons of milk so cool and interesting, i like eating food that tastes good and doesnt make me want to kill myself.
As a bong Doritos were the legit the best crisps (chips) ever but they changed them within the last year and they're awful now.
Who do you think owns Doritos, you fuckin moron?
I bet you eat beans in theaters, too.
Fake question to derail criticism.
Well is he? He looks like classic troll phenotype
Yeah its a gimmick but I was just pointing it out and yes its very disingenuous. Its like everything else blacks do.
be depressed jew
kill self
increase happiness in others
He's one of the good ones now.
Putting curry powder in food makes someone a culinary genius.
That was probably his identical twin Jeffery Epstein.
Thank you for the unwarranted slop post, ChatGPT
kill yourself
kill yourself twice.
Frito Lay makes Doritos my neighbor works there and he gives me free Doritos all the time.
This guy was a BETA
Nightmare blunt rotation
retarded self hating jew. he would have no global culture full of preserved culinary practices, nature, and art without white peepoo running things. i wish he only killed himself after the browns took this over. also to all the indians reading this fuck you
Five
your boss is a fucking liar. no one is actually gluten intolerant none of your ancestors would have ever survived if bread was forbidden from their diet the whole thing is a farce. my aunt swears she's "gluten intolerant" but this bitch ate bread all the time before 2010
How do you do fellow goyim