What if Star Wars...but with vulgar language and sex???

you'll like what you're told to like.
EVERYONE liked Ryan Reynolds in the 2000s! we all definitely knew who he was, rather than him just being that guy, actor, he was in ______.

the new movies put adam driver's ugly mug and shirtless body front and center. how much more vulgar can it get?

Nothing will save Star Wars other than a long period of complete stasis in the carbonite chamber and an earnest effort in about 20-30 years to revive it properly.

So nothing will save Star Wars since neither of those things will happen.

X-Men Origins, duh

Quippy lines and goofy characters please.

we want the Game of Thrones audience

When I saw him in Blade 3 shilling the ipod I knew he was an asshole.

Imagine all the dirty edgy jokes Deadpool would've written in lmao lol.

Would only work as a series, about ancient Sith, on a Sith planet all vying for power and it has nothing to do with anything else.

haha he'd be aware of the silly things

ANOTHER Death Star? y'all need some FUCKING writing classes

postmodernism and irony is a substitute for good writing. or, as Deadpool would say,

postmodernism and irony is a substitute for good writing

and we'd all laugh. it's not like the other capeshits that try to be earnest.

That could actually work. I'd watch that. I like to see the bad guy side & how it came to be. Not when they make them sympathetic, just show the terrible shit they did to get where they are.

I would use this opportunity to create so many new slurs for spaceniggers

Just play KotOR

Reddit Reynolds should shut the fuck up. I'm sick of this faggot running his damn mouth.

His first name is actually Ryan, not Reddit

Han solo has a drug dealer that seduced an otherwise decent princess.
SW was always meant to be pulp and kind of degenerate.

Fuck safe-edgy zillennial retards.

there's already a 'language' to Star Wars though. yeah it's 'our' English

The main Star Wars language is Galactic Basic, which to us is English (or some other language if you're watching a dubbed Star Wars movie), but yeah, you're right that there's a 'language' to Star Wars although by 'language', I'm guessing you mean that there's a stylised type of speech in Star Wars.

the prequels were written in a Shakespearean/operatic mode. it's timeless in a way the quippy Disney ones won't be. if everyone started swearing, it would make no sense. a bit like a Western if they started saying 'yo wassup fr fr'. Deadwood did this by adapting 'dagnabbit' to 'cuntfuck' or whatever, it was stupid, but it was at least a decision from day 1.

I completely agree with you. In fact, I think the formal/theatrical type of speech in Star Wars is actually an essential aspect of the identity of Star Wars and Disney's ongoing zoomerisation of speech in Star Wars is why Disney's version of Star Wars doesn't feel like authentic Star Wars. It's because the zoomerisation of Star Wars has made Star Wars become instantly dated whereas Pre-Disney Star Wars, despite its flaws, is timeless. Can you imagine if the Jedi started saying shit like "Yo, that's deadass fr fr! No cap!"? That'd be disgusting.
I'd say the word 'shit' is too informal for authentic Star Wars, despite the versatility of the word. It would break immersion. Star Wars is a story set a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away - not a story set in the present day in California. And it ought to feel that way.

Just play KotOR

Not canon.

That´s not all that different from what Disney itself´s been doing though. Both approaches are equally tone deft. Star Wars doesn´t need sex and strong language in the same way it doesn´t need to reflect contemporary political issues or mature themes.

That´s just not what Star Wars is. Star Wars is meant to be a classic tale akin to a bed time story, that´s why it starts with a "once upon a time in a galaxy far far away" slate and those silly wedding tier transitions, you are not supposed to forget it´s nature as a story and pretend it should have the depth of the real world. It´s supposed to be this naive innocent telling of space wizard knights fighting dark sorcerers. A classic, from the book, hero´s journey full of archetypes.

That is what SW is, that is the reason it´s become timeless and iconic, because it´s one of those stories that´s been told for thousands of years.

I can´t believe pros are unable to grasp that. I´d expect the Andor schizo to not get it but people on the industry of storytelling should know this shit.

is he going to get cancelled for his part in that whole thing with blake lively and justin baldoni. i cant stand reynolds and lively man

somehow...rape and jewish tricks has returned to the galaxy...

You're right. Ryan fundamentally doesn't understand what Star Wars is.

Star Wars has already been Marvelised by Disney though.

KotOR isn't about 'Ancient Sith' though. They reinvent the Sith race to just be The Empire, again, but in bronze masks. They're not swords-and-sorcery Conan-esque sorcerers any more. Fucking snorefest.

I'm guessing you mean that there's a stylised type of speech in Star Wars.

yep, that's it. i suppose the linguistic term might be 'dialect', but it's not just geographical location, it's cadence, word choice, everything.

I think the formal/theatrical type of speech in Star Wars is actually an essential aspect of the identity of Star Wars

also note that for a British-American production, they cut out a lot of regional British accents. the Scottish guy in TFA was as distracting as, say, a Liverpudlian would be.
if this was a Ken Loach film or something, fair enough. but in Star Wars, it is absolutely fitting that everyone speaks in a theatrical, Received Pronunciation style. even though that's, ironically, a more recent invention.
even the American actors often go for a kind of transatlantic twang: the Imperials especially. Carrie Fisher just dropped it for the sequel trilogy...why? it's CLOSER to

the present day in California.

I'd say the word 'shit' is too informal for authentic Star Wars

agreed, and it's just distracting. all the common swear words go back centuries ('Gropecunt Lane' and all that) but there's an informality that doesn't quite work. characters having a bit of friendly chatter is fine, obviously the Empire or the various monarchs wouldn't speak that way. the occasional 'gonna' isn't going to break immersion like 'your momma' phone call jokes do.

Rebel Moon?

You didn't play the game, play the Korriban part

I did. It's not the comics Korriban, is it? They reference the Golden Age of the Sith, Sith-race stuff, then replace it with all the human, Sith Empire nonsense. It's so boring. It looks exactly like prequel Star Wars. That first city planet might as well be Coruscant or Nar Shaddaa. It's not some rough-and-tumble isolated tribes and colonies developing hyperspace lanes, piloting bio-ships, the Jedi are just the same boring temple Jedi you see in The Phantom Menace.

I enjoyed the game and its story is fun, some nice twists and turns. Have my misgivings about the d20/D&D 3.x system, but whatever. (Something like the Fallout 1/2 points system but in true 3D could have been cool. Bit like a skirmish game more than a miniatures-based RPG.)

So yeah it's all canon, still, but that's just how the EU worked. That mercenary guy randomly mentions a Yuuzhan Vong ship. If anything a straight-up retcon (just ignore the comics/canon database entirely) would have been fine: call it a 'parallel universe' or some such. It's a spin-off game, not one of the films.

this side story about how the Sith operate doesn't count because it's not about red aliens

k

Maybe SWT was right.

It's the general aesthetics too, though. The Star Wars galaxy is littered with ancient stone ruins. Turns out the Old Republic wasn't those ruins actively being used, at the time, it was the same gun-metal grey bases as 4,000 years later?

I prefer the Ancient Egyptian and Moebius look, tbqh. If KotOR had X-Wings (but the turbines are slightly bigger and they're called Alpha-Wings) they wouldn't even look out of place.

"oh my fuck! I'm going to fucking FUCK him in the ass with my lightsaber!"

turns and stares directly into the camera

"Soo... That just happened"

but with vulgar language and sex?

Worked for nu Trek

Ryan Reynolds as Ryan Reynolds in a Ryan Reynolds movie but Star Wars

No, thanks.

No it didn't. Nu Trek is barely hanging on as the original fanbase has been completely pushed away and alienated.

Didn't Andor have an attempted rape?

Trek always had sex in it, definitely moreso than Star Wars.

pretty funny how the entire Internet has seemingly come to the same conclusion that Ryan Reynolds has become tiresome for one reason or another

Unironically the Han Solo movie should've been this.

They've seen the consequences of Deadpool and marvel quip culture. It's not a pretty sight.

BLOOD FOR THE SITH EMPEROR!
SKULLS FOR THE SITH THRONE!
LET THE GALAXY RAGE!

basically fanservice for the horny nerd viewers, it NEVER served the story.

true optimistic future post-scarcity atheism sex would be like that one episode of Red Dwarf with the holoship. intelligent people just saying, "i would like some sex, you free later?" "yeah, meet you on the Sex Deck at 7." no love or procreation necessary.

Starpool

He should stick to making mobile service commercials...

candle-sniffing fuckfence

and force/lightsaber dismemberment. like force crushing limbs or skulls. force pushing rocks into enemies. twileks with big tits dancing.
so much can be done with star wars for adults

"There's an entire fucking squadron of TIE fighters on our tail!"

"Oh shit, we are fucked!"

"Everyone, calm the fuck down! Grondo, switch emergency power reserves to full. We're putting this bitch into motherfucking hyperdrive."

"Are you fucking crazy? That will blow the goddamn ship to pieces."

"Well, we're fucked either way. Just turn on the fucking hyperdrive already."

"Ain't this some bullshit? Fuck it."

That's the Lost Tribe of the Sith.

(((The Lost Tribe)))