Imagine watching Nu Wars

Even space wizards follow the rules of their own universe.

Is the implication that if we get rid of the military industrial complex we get space nazis?

The implications are that the Mouse™ has idiots in charge and that the extended universe was better with its decades of conflict between the New Republic and the Imperial remnant after the battle of Endor.

This can't Fucking be real...

Star Wars is based, and you'll never convince me otherwise. The world is the most fleshed out across any francise. Makes other cinematic universes look like leaflets.

Vader is a school shooter

I SEE THE GOOD IN HIM, HE CAN BE REDEEMED

Kylo commits the sin of...uhh...umm...

KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP

This exists and then they spend two seasons of their biggest show talking about how difficult it was for Palpatine to get all the resources for the first Death Star lol

Only Disney MM, EU Mon Mothma made sure to put through military rearmaments and put the right people in charge... well except for Drayson. Fuck Drayson.

Yeah but Luuuuuuuuuuuuke Skywalker.

This picture assumes Ilum being that large to begin with.

Why is it illegal to question the holocaust?

deathstar 1 and 2 described as small moons
starkiller base is described as planet
simple as

wow it's just like europe and russia... really makes you think

The lesson is don't elect woman and never disarm

What do you even need such a big death star for? Like the other one didn't do the job right it just needed a little patch in security measures?

Just a reminder that the weapon would be impossible to use because it's a fucking laser which is made of light and the only way to travel through hyperspace is to be faster than light itself. At least the fucking Death Star had to be in the same galaxy as it's target planet.

the sequel trilogy is one of the most baffling fuckups in media franchise history. Multi-billion dollar franchise and they didn't even have a story outline. They're not even cynical cash grabs designed to spawn as much toys and supplementary media as possible because they go out of their way to shut down and destroy everything that might be interesting.
The yes-men echo chamber must have been deafening

RLM loves this slop, and they'd still defend it. At least the first movie.

Are they in the room with you right now?

Mike has intentionally picked movies his friends don't like in order to be a contrarian. He's a less reliable reviewer than Siskel and Ebert. Also he hates on movie theaters for no fucking reason even when all these streaming services like Disney+ will charge you upwards of $40 to rent a movie at home.

It’s like poetry they rhyme.

Cause it's better.

this is the equivalent of North Korea building the worlds largest nuclear missile right across the border in Canada and firing it at Washington DC, which makes the US collapse and allows North Korea to take over the world

The planet eats part of the local sun then spits out an intelligent particle beam that can split apart that carries enough power to destroy multiple planets at the same time all of this at transluminal speeds across the galaxy that can be seen in the daylight sky of planets not even in the same sector. This shit is straight out of Gurren Lagann.

There will be another lore reset in ten years as the necessity of erasing the sequels becomes insurmountable. It will be impossible to do any storytelling around those movies, at all, they will have no choice. Eventually the OT itself will be rebooted and that will be yet another opportunity for a clean slate.

Actually gun free zones are good, Chud!

in ten years

what the hell are they going to do in the meantime?

The Resistance won in the end

AAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE

Death Star 2 double size of Death Star 1

Still just destroys planets and dies to a fighter laser

Starkiller base 100,000 larger than Death Star 2

Can destroy like, 5 planets now

In total, because it can't move

Is literally useless after one firing

Dies to fighter laser

Star Wars is irredeemably retarded.

RLM is pure dunnin kruger. they don't understand mythology

Ruin other ips as they worry about avoiding bankruptcy from needing to pay so many licenses and their parks struggling

Nah. Rian Johnson is solely responsible for shitting up the franchise.

absolutely zero extra unique scenes of "The People™" in the film

imagine making 18 threads in any single day.
imagine going over the same shit points over and over and over.
i dont need to.
i just counted how many starwars threads there are active right now.
this is a board for babies and manbabies and some pretending to be neither

Rian Johnson wasn't the one who made it so the new republic ate shit and died because they were pansies about stomping out the empire.

I can smell the 8th grade Jordan Peterson fan smell from here

it was over the second TFAs script was greenlighted, Rian shouldn't and didn't try to salvage it. Instead he turned in a joke script (if we assume he actually got to write it himself) and it also got filmed

we have to go bigger

just a bit bigger than last time? i mean we all saw what peter jackson did when he felt he had to go bigger and bigger in the hobbit; he got so far into retarded action set pieces it became laughable.
legolas prancing up falling masonry...

bigger

so big its stupid even in a made up world filled with magic technology.

yes, so big it makes us look like we thought about it for an entire lunchtime before going ahead with filming.

umm akshually the logistics in the space wizard movie make no sense, bet you didn't notice that

I can smell the 3rd grade RLM fan smell from here

i like to imagine that the whole sequel trilogy is some cracked out alternate future luke sees while zooted out on force fumes during an astral projection session and after the curtains close on episode 9 he wakes up back to reality and decides not to attempt to murder his nephew and goes and warns the new republic about hux, snoke, palpy and thrawn.

the undermining of everything the OTs accomplished and all of their character arcs (like luke believing no one was beyond redemption, han deciding to actually fight for something and stop womanizing and settle down, the rebellion and freedom triumphing over the murderous fascist empire, etc) was really the worst part of the ST, and the ST had a lot of baaaaad parts.

Illium is 1/3 of Luna. The main gun port for SB is the same diameter as DSII.

I have been saying this for a decade and I remember everyone claiming that Star Wars was in the right direction away from Lucas.

b-but it made two billion!

And it has only dropped since then.

Most boys who even have the slightest interest in anything science fiction learn enough about real life outer space to have some sense of the scale of it, and know what the basic rules should stay in place and what can be explained away with space magic. JJ Abrams never learned any of that and it already showed in his Star Trek movies. It was the same for Rian Johnson when it was his turn.

Rian didnt bring back the first order. Can't believe they ruined an entire series just to send "the message"

you can stop at rotj and accept celebration in the end as the true ending. you can ignore shitty sequels, you can ignore filonislop, you can ignore ewoks. you can pick any good parts of eu if you want too, like og thrawn or actually competent new republic

b-but its nu-wars canon!

who cares?

Actually insane how hard the sequels fucked the franchise moving forward. Anything that takes place immedately after the OT is fucked because it builds up to a shitty universe reset with the FO and Resistance. Anything that takes place after the ST has to use the shitty bootleg universe as a starting point rather than making use of the original factions/characters that people loved. Even if you manage to make a good story out of the ST setting, the similarity to the OT will just remind everyone how much better it would have been if it had taken place after the OT. There's not a single story that can be told in the ST setting that wouldn't be better in the OT setting.

This shitty b8 has gone unnoticed but I noticed it anon

Ships that size moving like fighters...why?

Apparently not.

omg I can't watch this WW2 movie because I know in the future the allies ultimately lost and Hitler was right!

this is how you sound

Many Bothans died to ensure that we'd disarm ourselves and get obliterated in 20 years

Watching Star Wars anything without George is pointless. All of the George autism that makes things fun to talk about, no matter how shit it was, is a large part of Star Wars' charm. How many quotable, fuck-awful lines of dialogue, came from George's mind? You could probably name off dozens at this point

Now this is pod racing

I'll try spinning, that's a good trick

And he was a good friend

I hate sand

I have the high ground

From my point of view

Unlimited power

Henceforth! You shall be known as...

And not just the men...

It's treason then

Credits WILL do fine

Can you think of one from the new series? I can think of two and two only. "Somehow..." and "I bypassed the..." and that's it. Neither of them are even endearing quotes, they just showcase how utterly shit the new movies really are, or anything else is, when used to talk about them. Greasy jews and their hordes of fat ugly women, femininsts, faggots, trannies and brownies, all cancerous and growing on Star Wars now like tumors, dictate the dialogue and the aesthetics. How many times does this happen?

Original creator stops creating a series

IP falls into the hands of some jew either via buyout, by violent company takeover, or by an IP license

Series instantly tanks and continues to tank

The moment George handed the series off to kosher hands to do themselves, it was all over. Just let it go

I try not to think about it because I liked General Hux and The First Order a lot before they ruined him. Star Wars would be so much better off if they won and started an empire that lasted 1,000 years.

Illum is disney-canonically a tiny moon. This of course falls apart as it should be too small for an atmosphere let alone snow and pine trees

It's actually about the same size as what the effects director of ROTJ intended the DS2 to be, around 900km diameter. Though the shots of it in ROTJ are pretty inconsistent unless Endor is the size of Jupiter or something, which would also make no sense

New Republic Mon Mothma was a stone cold dick killer bitch in the EU, she even sanctioned loads of shady spec ops shit and hired mercs for hit jobs
How the FUCK can it hold an atmosphere and even have arboreal forests on its surface if its smaller than the moon?!?

I was 62 when the first Star Wars came out. I went there with my child and my grandchild aswell. Fun experience.

The prequels were colorful and fun, the sequels are devoid of color and soul.

my favorite is the start of ST11 where someone says the Klingon border is like 20000km away from kirks dad's ship, which is closer than the planet in the background.

based 110 year old

Hux and The First Order

Weren't they always retards unprofessionally screaming at everything

at least Fallout fans complained and pointed that out when it released, it took most of the Star Wars Fanbase 3 years to grokk onto what. JJ and Lucasfilm did.

Exactly this. I could have forgiven Disney for fucking up the overarching story if they'd just been consistent and not shot themselves in the foot and then in the face and then blamed the fans for disliking it. TFA was relatively well-received despite the obvious rehashing and nostalgia bait (well expected from JJ), and they could have built on that, actually answered some of the good questions for another time, and it would have been better than the complete mess they got by allowing Rian Johnson to do his own thing, then leave JJ to pick up the pieces with a "fuck it, somehow Palpatine has returned". It's so bizarrely lacking in foresight and control over the entire trilogy that you have to wonder if it came from malice rather than incompetence.

But that's totally stupid. Okay, the Empire as an organization has fallen, the command center and the top generals are dead, but there must be a few hundred thousand or even millions of troopers and Star Destroyers left. And with the Empire falling, hundreds of planets could fall into civil war to regain power. It's the worst thing for the Republic to be disarmed.

You forgot "TRAITOR" and the one where Han decides to throw the super important Plasma into the garbage compressor.

Tech

All the west coast games are rendered pointless because a super secret Vault can just nuke everybody for no reason.

huh? FNV literally has a super secret guy in a super secret silo nuking everyone for no reason and it's barely even acknowledged by anyone when it happens lol. The show is being too respectful of the canon if anything instead of going crazy with the doomsday devices.

Just pretend that the sequels dont exist, it make everything better
Even Vader AI slop knows this

But he didn't fix it either, it could have made it so that the New Republic military still had some fleet forces or some military base, but he chose to double down on JJ's choice of the ST being Nu-empire vs Nu-rebels.

Not enough people realize this, almost all of the problems people have with Star Wars: The Last Jedi exist because of the Force Awakens. There was never going to be an answer to the question of where Luke Skywalker was and why he left that would have made sense or made fans happy. And Jar Jar Abrams left it for the next guy to answer the unanswerable question, cause he sure as hell hadn't thought that far ahead.

I'm still glad I haven't wasted more than 2 hours on Disney Wars.

If you watched more than TFA from Disney you're part of the problem. The writing was on the wall from that first movie, it was obvious it was all going to be tripe.