Pitch Thread

Give me your movie pitches, good, bad, throwaway, whatever. Its better than being a retarded sycophant orbiting around a celebrity hoping somebody with money will acknowledge your existence before stealing your idea and taking all the credit.

Pic Related: Not sure what this is, but it'd make a premise for a great movie.

A 200 year old vampire is brought before the vampire council to answer for exposing their existence by murdering a small child by throwing him out an 80 story window for breaking a fabrige' egg he had been working on for nearly fifty years.

gumbo slice is still kicking it !?

Anything can be a premise for a great movie; all that really matters is having the gumption to actually realize it.

I used to pitch scripts but it's quite clear they're never gonna get bought or made, so I just write for fun and myself now and make em extra unfilmable and unmarketable.

Last two things I wrote are a script about a shut in, asocial dev that gets a deal with a demon and the demon allows him to project himself into other people and control them like drones. First he uses this power to rape girls, but then he uses it to project into girls and get himself raped. Turns out, the projection has a sort of radiation effect and a femcel can stream the rapes in her dreams, so she gets obsessed about finding him. She learns about his deal and manages to learn how to astral project and do the same. It ends with the girl projecting into the guy and locking him out of his body, while keeping him in jail.

Second one, I've finished the first draft, is about a deviant onlyfans model that dox men and swat em for sexual gratification. There's a victim that dies and then she tries to erase her online presence, but years later, when she's a normal married woman, a twink detective goes after her, so she starts creating new online personas to try and destroy the detective. She regains her love for the doxxing and the blackmailing and ends up destroying everything around her.

Im also starting a new project, a sort of fucked up Star Wars set in a dying universe about a monk boy groomed to become a sort of cosmic pope while another faction is training her own leader, a concubine girl. I don't have a lot, just ideas here and there.

ideas don't matter, only hard work does!
-t. Marx

do you have anything that is not porn?

Extreme violence, I guess

monkey with a shotgun

Pretty much exactly what it sounds like.

that'll do. show me whatchu got

Wrote a really lengthy detective story about an old suicidal cop - he left his wife for another woman, then than woman left him and he's remained single since then, he lives taking care of his senile mother - and a thirty something woman cop that have intrusive thoughts about killing his own son. They investigate the death of a young nun, a girl that does not come from a religious background, but found faith in a dream and moved to a city to become a nun. There she is murdered by a salesman, that hits her head with a meteorite. The press claims the girl has been murdered by a werewolf, and both the detectives try to keep the case grounded while a supernatural thread spiral out of it. They find the guy that killed the girl, and he says he killed her because a man pushed that idea into his mind, telling him that "everything can be done". The suspect kills himself and the old man dies by accident. The woman tries to find the other man, and when she does, she finally kills him.

chat is this real

Reverse "Alien" where it's a underfunded alien survey/biological survey team sent to earth to abduct an approved specimen but due to incompetence and a series of unfortunate unforeseen circumstances they abduct Walter Goggins or Willam Defoe without realizing that hes high in meth to the point of being unresponsive to their psychic/chemical security measures and anesthesia. He then proceeds to stalk the ship with a crowbar or samurai sword ripping and tearing until the alien protagonist is forced to drive their ship into the sun lest it fall into human hands and completely violate their companies prime directive.

Your post reminded me of a short story called The Fermi Paradox is Our Business Model. It ends with the ayys shitting bricks because humans are now aware of them.

no offense but these are not good

no one said they had to be good.

It's today's world but AI companions are commonplace. Anti-AI bigotry from leftists and women is a very real thing. Our white protagonist and his AI waifu are enjoying life until somehow an incredibly deadly unknown pandemic occurs. Tens of millions dead in days. Everything falls apart. Extreme quarantine necessary. It is now up to our waifu to overcome obstacles (male feminist rapists), work with other AI allies, save her man and humanity in the process.

i thought you were talking about the crowbar one.

that one was fun.

Guy with an extremely boring life gets abducted by aliens and probed, he desperately tries to get it to happen again

Grave New World:A perfect utopia where humans live hundreds of years, eliminated war and crime, and everything is perfect until a zombie-like infection breaks out.

BUFF Patrol: BUFF stands for Butt-Fuckers United For Freedom. When a female based supercomputer called The Matriarch takes over the world and enslaved all men, it is up to a rag tag group of gay warriors to save us all!

Stonewall, Gimplord, T.W.I.N.K. and The Glob must fight through the Matriarch's loyal male army the White Knights. Then they must defeat the supervillians Yeast Beast, Aunt Flo, and Chief Queef. Will they finally destroy the Clitadel and free mankind?

JGL already made this movie

Yeast Beast

Chief Queef

I'm dying

Die Hard on a tandem bicycle
Rocky 6, but it's flick football
Leprechaun in the White House
3 Ninjas reboot
Parasite, but they're all black

Leprechaun in the White House

You mean from the Leprechaun movies, or just some random Leprechaun?

Gerard Butler has to fight a/the leprechaun who gets in the White House idk man

Why are leftists against this?

It's the political side for women and their male enablers

A pregnant woman is notified by the church that she's carrying the second coming of christ. She is given extremely special care throughout the length of her pregnancy. It's revealed that she's pregnant with twins, but early on, one of the twins reabsorbs the other in utero. The church doesn't know which of the twins is supposed to be christ.
It's a case of fetus in fetu, the second twin is a parasite that lives in the body of the fully born twin. The church can't separate the infant from its twin without killing them both, but after the baby is born the church identifies the fetus in fetu as christ. They cover this up by claiming the fully born twin is christ instead.
As he gets older he requires much more medical upkeep to stay alive and healthy due to his parasitic sibling, but he gets messages from christ that he speaks to the church. The public worships him, but the church secretly resents him because his sibling should have been the one to be born and receive the public's worship. The church keeps him comfortable only because if he refuses to speak then the church no longer receives messages from christ.
I don't know how to end the story, this is as much of the concept as I've come up with. Can anon think of a good conclusion?

I'd do a mystery box show where a bunch of people are stranded on a mini island after their plane crashes. They do the typical survival stuff like forming a society while looking for ways to get home, or find out where they are. The first season ends with them getting home only to find out that the apocalypse happened around the same time as they crashed. The rest of the show strays into Mad Max style territory while trying to figure out what exactly caused the downfall of civilisation.

Ali Gator

A fat Mohamed Ali's plane crashes in south Florida during the 80s. Nuke waste from thr South Florida reactor has leaked into Everglades causing thr gators to become aggressive. Ali is forced to fight his way out to survive.

Fuck off Hollywood.

Zombie apocalypse story about a human version of the fungus that infects and gradually replaces cicada genitals with fungal growths and turns them into hypersexual rapists with infinite stamina.
Working title is "The Lust of Ass."

fungus.png - 642x665, 97.72K

Sounds like a bunch of skinheads were harassing him on a bus for no reason, and he had the shotgun for self-defense.

written by director and producer Morten Goldstein

Read the manga Dragon Head

nta but i just reread it on a horror binge. get outta my head!

The Goldstein Massacre:
The story of Baruch Goldstein, the first Jewish mass shooter, shot and directed in the style of a 1970s goresploitation movie with a 1970s synthesizer soundtracn and a trailer narrated by adolph caesar (youtube.com/watch?v=0mXFUfF-f-U)
"This summer, it's about to get real Old Testament....The Goldstein Massacre (*gunshot sounds followed by trumpets*)"

It would be a lot like this movie but with Jews.
youtube.com/watch?v=ecNl_d0F008

nice!

Not bad but don't conflate things with religion which aren't about religion

This doesn't make sense. Christ isn't second coming as a baby not according to any church. You'd have to work it as a new church and the not being certain which twin as a matter of doctrine

I'm not convinced

It's Shoah Season

I would watch vampire courtroom kino
I have news for you: youre an agp
also how do they go from blunt force meteorite to werewolf?

No notes on the rest posted. Here's mine: Anon Babble schizoposter is abducted and discovers heaven & hell exist but aren't the traditional afterlives. trees are damned soul prisons akin to personal hells, and heaven is just ability to choose your next step on the reincarnation wheel, so long as it's 'alive'. The most ambitious get creative bending the definition of alive & get to be ayylmaos, like the ones that abducted him.
Turns out he abducted himself creating a nightmare fuel time paradox that ends with his choice to become a tree to stop the voices. Ends with the first moment of serenity, a light breeze through the branches of a gnarled tree, before the sound of a chainsaw revs off screen and cuts to black

Alternative title, Kneel Fuck Man

Have you seen Joker 2?

yeah and it has the best anal rape scene since irreversible

A tiny blonde girl, in a small town, grows 900 feet tall in a 4 hour long slapstick comedy. In the end the town is destroyed, she is taken to the city for sequel bait.

What is gumption?

Jubanji already did it

Elio sounds like this GRIM

An incel stalker goes around getting candid shots of women to jerk off to then comes across a girl undressing in front of an old gross man for sex. The stalker starts taking pictures until he witnesses her taking out a knife and killing the man. The rest of the movie will be a love story between the 2 as they relish in their illegal activities together

a type of soup made in the Louisiana bayou

Pixar-style fantasy movie with all the bells and whistles, but the princess antagonist is a pregnant teenager

A young boy gets followed home by a crazy lady who breaks into his home at night and castrates him. After they catch her, she claims she had to do it because the boy is the devil and would’ve done awful things if she hadn’t. Ten years later, he’s still deeply traumatized and decides to go on a cross-country journey to confront the crazy lady, who is now being held in a mental hospital.
He struggles with his masculinity and sense of self in light of what happened, especially since he makes the journey with his Giga-Chad cousin.
Eventually, he comes to learn that the crazy lady’s uncle was a child molester and murderer, and she only attacked the protagonist because he happened to be whistling the same song her uncle used to whistle.
I don’t know if it’s worth stealing, but I hold the copyright just to be safe. I wrote it as a feature but the script ended up being stupidly long. The uncle is still out there and the protagonist becomes obsessed with tracking him down.

IMG_5434.gif - 342x252, 1.73M

Work smart not hard

The next best anal rape scene in cinema happens entierly between a cut

sad state of affairs for cinematicanalrapebros

A pregnant woman is notified by the church that she's carrying the second coming of christ. She is given extremely special care throughout the length of her pregnancy. It's revealed that she's pregnant with twins, but early on, one of the twins reabsorbs the other in utero. The church doesn't know which of the twins is supposed to be christ.

It's a case of fetus in fetu, the second twin is a parasite that lives in the body of the fully born twin.

Good job, Yahweh.

No need to worry, that is not worth stealing

Protip—
If you're pitching a book, you have 100 words or fewer.
If you're pitching a movie, you have 10 words or fewer.

Nice. That’s a load off my mind.

what if I'm pitching a book idea about a man pitching a movie idea about a book written by a director of a movie based on the events of a man who pitched a book idea?

I think we're mostly desperate wannabes here. If Hollywoodians wanted, they'd just steal ideas from the masses upon masses of material that rubes like us send into them for free.

a man pitching a movie idea about a book written by a director of a movie based on the events of a man who pitched a book idea

That's only 28 words so you're good. Sounds like a boring book tho.

Career Opportunities, only it's Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro locked overnight in Auschwitz as a German chemist tries to break in to take samples from the gas chambers to prove that Zyklon B was never used during the Holocaust.

Would her clothes grow with her? Would you still work on the project if producers demanded that her clothes grow with her?

so was A Child Called It but people pretended to love it

waaaaahhhhh my jew mom dunked my head in bleach

seriously wtf was his problem

Everything sounds retarded in 10 words or fewer.

Guy breaks out of jail with a spoon

Guy is imprisoned in a hotel room for 15 years

Little girl is possessed by a demon and exorcists come

A family lives in a haunted hotel, dad goes crazy

Antarctic base is attacked by a transforming alien

Sorry but in our world non-fiction about extreme child abuse is more interesting than a fictional account of entertainment business humdrum.

yakub adaption

Yes, unfortunately, the advice requires you to learn how to not write retardedly.

The Explorers (1985) sequel as adults 40 years later

Jokes aside that's fucking horrifying and makes cordyceps ants look like little bitches. It's like a bug version of Crossed.

non-fiction

The holocoasters and electric floor tiles were non-fiction too. At least business minutia is the real deal. It's got grit.

It's kind of a homage to the old hong kong kung-fu movies.
Capoeira guy who was left for dead by the people he used to fight with goes after them for revenge. He is a gifted fighter but somewhat autistic and during life or death fights hallucinates about being one of the old slaves who developed capoeira. It's ambiguous if his visions are legit or if he is insane/brain damaged.
The five people he hunts are: an ex-con who fights in an improvisational, Bourne/The Raid-style manner. A famous MMA fighter whose matches are secretly fixed in his favor. A schizophrenic woods witch who uses drugs and misdirection. A famous rich guy who secretly leads an animism cult. His childhood friend, who deeply resented never being able to beat the protagonist one-on-one, and ultimately having to resort to trickery to "kill" him.

Here are some ideas I had, some based on dreams

The rock is part of a special ops team called into a secret govt facility to take out a new super weapon that has gone rouge. The weapon in question is a giant robotic alligator with machine guns and rockets and other shit.

Fantasy movie about a race of elves that all look like women. They have a ritual that requires the transport of something dangerous to another city, and rival elves want to steal it. The "something" will turn out to be the male gender of their species, which is this huge hulking brute that is in rape mode and that's why it's so dangerous. My idea is basically to demonstrate extreme gender dimorphism and show that male strength is necessary sometimes.

I want to do for lilliputias/Brodinagians what has been done for vampires and elves. I want to make a contemporary film or series where those islands and people are real and write stories around it.

Sci-fi movie about a space scavenger that happens upon a very rare treasure which is one of the last Changelings. It will be explained that they were originally created to be sex slaves but were too dangerous and also unethical and so were all killed supposedly

There hasn't really been a good 90s nostalgia movie so I would like to make one. I would like to center it around the fighting game boom in the mid 90s

brought to you by the creative mind of Jordan Peele

The actual story of the Nation of Islam is fucking wild too. It was founded by a white door to door salesman/conman. No one knows where he actually came from, his real name, or where he went to. He just got on an airplane in Detroit one day and never came back.

Earth gets swept up in an interstellar war between 2 alien empires

Zombi-gators

fighting game boom in the 90s

Call it FGC and have it star an A.I. version of Fresh Prince Will Smith as a poor young boy named Freddie George Carver trying to make money through a game tournament to pay for his mom's cancer treatment.

The second one sounds neat, although I'm pretty sure you stole it from that Rick & Morty episode

Sumtin dis boy got

I like this, both empires vying for humanity's allegiance, but both civilizations are weird fucked-up to humanity in different ways

Phil Lamarr would have made such a perfect Yakub.

Tom Cruise plays a Merlin-like wizard character in a trilogy of movies that spans 1500 years. First movie is middle ages, where he is a renowned battle mage, general, and close friend of a european king. We see how his strength and wisdom lead the kingdom to greatness. After a climactic battle, he tells the kind (Patrick Stewart) that the time of magic is over and he must leave. he kisses the king on the forehead, turns into a fox, and runs into the forest.

2nd movie is roughly modern day. It follows a schizophrenic young adult who hallucinates animals revealing cryptic information to him, which leads to success in finance and technology, while leading a disastrous personal life.

Movie 3 is centuries in the future when mankind has colonised the solar system. Tom Cruise must orchestrate a planetary alignment to build a bridge to a higher dimension, which he leads all of humanity across (like literally, it will depict hundreds of billions of people from every planet physically walking a bridge on a multigenerational journey out of the solar system).

My other movie idea is about Nicholas Cage eating a shoe.

A slasher movie set in the 1100s in a baron's castle on a dark stormy night

Sure

You can add that as a joke, sure am glad these clothes grow with me wink wink or she is naked but the camera is facing the wrong direction and we see a group of people’s reaction to her nudity and a dog covers his eyes

Transformers their war our world

My other movie idea is about Nicholas Cage eating a shoe.

how is that any different than his normal everyday routine?

A retired boxer goes to space and he end saving the day with his old boxing techniques

Fund it

Nah I want it to be a feel good, comfy vibe movie. Lots of era appropriate music and slang and clothes and casting (no fucking Muslims hanging out with chinks, fucking Seeing Red.) I would also like there to be other 90s related subplots

This will have a purpose

Two groups of students, independently and unknowingly to the other, plan a school shooting. By chance they pick the same day, so they end up fighting each other for the spotlight. Hilarity ensues.

I came up with it during the big SJW boom and it's based on my feelings as a guy that people seem to view traditional masculinity as monsterous and toxic.

The Max Headroom signal incursions but he starts jamming things up his ass on live tv instead of schizoposting irl.

Good one

I wanted to make a horror movie where the main character is hallucinating that the government is out to get him. There's been a number of movies that have this theme, but I want CIA agent jump scares and borderline supernatural shit to have you convince yourself it's real, only to tell you that it is 100% a hallucination. I want people to experience what schizophrenics feel.

Some more ideas

Anon Babble the movie. Not about it's creation but as a setting. Manifested as a world with kingdoms and lands and such. 4 characters, all played by 12 to 13 year old girls but written like incels. The story could be about a board raid and again would be portrayed literally, like an army invading another land. Many memes, much fun.

Sci-fi comedy/schlock fest about a man who when he was a boy was told a story by his father about a special planet. It was said to be inhabited by nothing but busty, hot human women. Everyone said the dad was retarded and the son thought so too until he finds a piece of a map that should lead to the planet. The chase is on.

Not really my idea, but I think I would like to adapt this one Korean manga about a person/creature that is able to turn people into skin suits it can wear and the protagonist manages to place themselves into a stuffed teddy bear and is now trying to find the killer and stop them.

then you throw the media in there, then like live streaming, and they are both fighting on live television with helmet cams and sponsorships

This setup would also work for a Die Hard clone, terrorists take a highschool hostage and the school shooter is the only one inside and armed.

Battlestar Galactica type military drama from the perspective of a young soldier; four despotic warlord fleets vie for control of a ruined sector. Mystery of MC either seeing visions or slowly being possessed, but this helps him win battles and rise through the ranks. Risk of planets being glassed

One of you fags should make a comfy monster movie like 8 Legged Freaks, Evolution, Tremors, whatever. I'm tired of edgy goreporn and high concept reddit horror. Just give me 90 minutes of a cool monster/monsters fucking things up and getting stopped by everyday people you wouldn't mind hanging out with.