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I actually can't because thankfully I've fully avoided ever consooming this trash movie or its sequels.

I know she say something like "I bypassed the controller" but I can't hear it

Big forehead.

she said "mary sue"

"Darth Vader's microchip!

Now the war turns tide for the Wookies!"

I cried in theatres when she said this.

I bypassed the character development

I still havent gotten around to watching anything star wars after the 90s trilogy.

the 90s trilogy

you mean dark forces 1 and 2 and expansion?

lel

Oi, Ah bypahssed the compresuh, gov'na!

Reminder that in this movie Harrison Ford and our other characters somehow are positioned on the right planet facing the exact right direction in order to view light traveling faster than light, through tens of thousands of lightyears, perfectly lighting up their sky at the exact angle that they needed to be at in order to view the light, during daylight hours, so they could come outside of their perfectly positioned building in order to view the light just in time for them to react to it.

Yes, in Star Wars, light travels faster than light in order for our special characters to view and react to something happening tens of thousands of lightyears away from them.

Also, don't forget that all of the planets in our solar system that got blown up, again, from a weapon that was fired faster than light in a beam that then splits up and hits 5 different planets who are all within orbit of each other for some reason, and yet somehow the distances of these planets over 10,000 or whatever light years away are visible to the naked eye of people in a completely different planetary system such that they don't just see one tiny explosion of light in the distance, but are able to witness all five planets exploding over a literal cosmic scale distance. Yep, that is the logic of Jew Jew Abrahams and company.

why is his face so red?

I don't even know what movie this is from

MULTIPASS!!!!

I haven't watched a Disney Star Wars production and I plan on keeping it that way.

'death star but it shoots 5 planets instead of 1' is such a comical idea of increasing stakes in a series i cant even make fun of it. they really expect me to care 5 times as much like im retarded

sure thing, sweatie!

I started the "I bypassed the character development" joke. I posted it seconds after I got home from seeing the movie opening day. And I have nothing to show for it. I'll never contribute to the zeitgeist again ever.

What would be a more sensible escalation?

Should they have escalated things at all?

This scene in particular was unforgivable for me. Because it's extremely obvious this was a character we were meant to have seen before. I looked it up and apparently there was a whole plot they dropped set in this planet with the new Senate. That happens but, we're they really so lazy they just left in a scene like that?

the worst part is that I was supposed to give a shit about this random Galactic Republic planet filled with a bunch of literal who characters who were never developed or introduced properly getting killed off instantly.
This event is supposed to be so horrific that it motivates our good guys to risk it all to take out the super evil bad guy superweapon in a full out assault.

But then the event is pretty much forgotten that it ever happened later in the movie or in subsequent movies and never mentioned again because there was no character or anything that any viewer would have cared about on this random republic planet, and because the writers were such cowards that they couldn't destroy Coruscant, it had 0 lasting impact at all on Star Wars despite them feeling like this was some pivotal moment worse than anything ever done by the Death Star.

What would be a more sensible escalation?

a weapon that could destroy the entire galaxy

No it should've been a smaller trilogy. The prequels were massive in scope. It took 3 movies and like 6 seasons of a TV show to capture George's autism.

This is a video clip of Rachel Zegler's carreer.

the worst part is that I was supposed to give a shit about this random Galactic Republic planet filled with a bunch of literal who characters who were never developed or introduced properly getting killed off instantly.

oh you mean Alderaan?

I boy-pussied the cuntpressor

Leia was connected to the planet, when it gets destroyed we see the impact it had on her, so at least there was that. We also get to see Alderaan in the prequels at least too kinda.

facebook screenshot

wtf, kys boomer

prequels

nigger there was no prequels in 1977. you were just supposed to care about this random planet that isn't even shown in the movie.

The entire point of them destroying Alderaan was to display the Empire's power and how powerless the rebels were, the planet didn't need to have characters or anything, the entire point was that the empire could do as they want even so far as destroying an entire planet just for the hell of it, even if Leia gave them what they wanted.
There was far more development in the decision for the Empire to blow up Alderaan than there was in the first order's decision to blow up whatever that planet was even called, at least I can remember Alderaan, can't say I remember that "new republic capitol" planet that was "not coruscant."

coping hard

just read our bookslop, toxic chud!

They did the Death Star twice in the original trilogy. The series has always been retarded

why is his face so red?

copious drinking to deal with having to make another star wars movie.

Did stuff not move faster than light in Star Wars? That's news to me, please do elaborate.

No, he means the Special Editions of Ep IV-VI
After watching those, I knew better than to give the prequels a chance.

You're defending a weapon firing faster than light over a cosmic scale through an entire galaxy, then the resulting destruction being viewed from thousands of light years away from where the planet was destroyed in the sky during daylight because for some reason light, yes LIGHT traveled faster than light?

Luckily annihilating several planets at a whim does not display indiscriminate power, because the people decimated were not real people or something something...

in order for you to see something, the light from that object needs to travel to your eyes.

If an object blows up 100 light years away from you, it would take 100 years for you to see it happen.

The functioning of the weapon is fucking pseudomagic as faster than light travel would be. Oh hey here, the interactions between the 1234892355137 dimension particles and our reality cause a red light to be projected. There, now you have your retarded hard science explanation for a kids fantasy movie.

space magic uses the rules i choose

Okay, have some more rules here:

You're defending

I am not defending shit, you retard. I asked for an explanation.

Galaxy spanning oppressive empire

vs

Hang glider boi

space magic uses the rules i choose

the laws of physics? I don't think those laws are just chosen arbitrarily.

Imagine getting a FTL message that a planet blew up, and then still getting messages from the blown up planet because they are only traveling at light speed.

Star Wars climax desu

I don’t buy the Mary Sue thing anyway. I find the term sexist in itself because it’s, ‘Mary Sue’. I don’t think there’s a thing called ‘Ryan Craig’

Ridley brought up how "everyone was saying that Luke had the exact same [capabilities]," and she also took issue with the entire notion of a Mary Sue, noting that it's an inherently gendered objection: "The Mary Sue thing in itself is sexist because it’s the name of a woman."

What would be a more sensible escalation?

Why does it need to be an escalation?

the laws of physics? I don't think those laws are just chosen arbitrarily.

For scifi featuring faster than light travel they actually are, do try your very best to keep up. So higher dimensional theoretical particles are now interacting in so far unknown ways with the effects the weapon causes, resulting in the observable effects in our dimension. I do hope you appreciate science and aren't trying to oppose it. You DO appreciate theoretical physics as a subset of science, right?

park rey shits in a private bathroom separate from the rest of the cast

A fleet of death stars with 3 glowing weak points each which all have to be precisely hit would have been the next step up so no, they should have given up on on escalation and did a serious tight personalized character study on Jedi vs. the Sith.
A fleet of death stars would have worked great as background lore for this, ironically enough.

is sexy

Faster than light travel is, relatively speaking, the same as time travel.
You could send a message at light speed somewhere and then travel to the destination before the messages gets there.
Why would they never use this time travel technology for any other purpose besides letting characters see something in the sky blow up that's thousands of years away.

It's 9 degrees celsius here. How fat do you think I am to be sweating at this temp?

I thought it just destroyed a load of planets in the same star system

if you write somebody a letter and drive there before the mailman delivers it you're a time traveler

using a video tape to see something that happened before is time travel

Was it really that bad?

youtu.be/an0M-wcHw5A?si=KIHOlEnWL-KnFMNU

goonies level shit

oi boipassed da cawacta develmeen!