TODAY I'M GOING TO FILTER ELEPHANT SHIT THROUGH MY TSHIRT AND DRINK THE JUICE

TODAY I'M GOING TO FILTER ELEPHANT SHIT THROUGH MY TSHIRT AND DRINK THE JUICE

jumps over a small shrub for no reason while the camera crew just walk around it

Kino

It makes it less cool when you learn he was born to a very rich family and just enjoys larping as a survivalist

... and I'm not even thirsty

i've been dumped and the reason was that i wasn't like bear grylls

develop a fetish for scat and pee

don't want to ruin you family reputation because of it

come up with the the idea of doing edcuational videos on survival as a cover up

Genius.

have to cross dangerous gap

cameraman is already on the other side

if he has survive on bugs and piss what his filming crew eats?

you couldn't tell that from his accent?

Alone is the only legitimate survival tv series. They're the ones who have to hunt for food by any means, they're the ones building a small hut, they're the ones without a camera crew.

how does it feel to be a mentally ill retard?

that one aussie on youtube who does shit in the woods is great too

i dunno - you tell me.

cure braids

He was in the SAS reserves so clearly not a larper

improvise, adapt and survive!

Fuck that bitch. Bear grylls is a hack. Les stroud is the patrician's choice.

What sort of mental illness is this? Were you under the impression he developed his survival skills being homeless in Birmingham or something? I can't imagine why his social class would be remotely important otherwise, I've never come across anybody else taking issue with it. He's a former SAS trooper showcasing his knowledge and skills for entertainment.

if he has survive on bugs and piss

He doesn't survive, it's an entertainment show. He eats it for the camera then flies out on a helicopter at the end of the day and eats at his hotel. The purpose of the show is demonstrating survival skills and strategies for information and entertainment, not documenting one man's genuine survival expedition.

And the only thing I can do is drink my own pee.

OHH PALM WEEVIL GRUBS

today I’m going 100m out of my tropical luxury hotel and pretending to be stranded on an island

better drink my own piss

make a cut where I switch this for vitamin c

see how yellow it is, that’s from being dehydrated on this wild remote island

cut around that elderly couple walking on the beach

sometime to survive you gotta take risks!

jumps over tiny crack filmed from a low dutch angle to seem big

phew that was lucky you wanna be careful not everyone is an elite soldier trained in survival like me

now let’s pretend to hunt a bird so I can eat the chicken we got from the supermarket

pretty much this. true realism, how they are all literally dying less than a month into it from drinking bad water or a wood splinter in the eye, or basically starving instead of the random 1% guy that manages to kill a big deer or stumbles onto a lot of fish. and the women always get massively btfo even though they have 99% more skills than the random city dweller

t. something I'd watch

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The volcano episode was a bit over the top, but props to the cameraman.

that joke is genius anon

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Every single one of these faggots, including your favourite youtube shutters are all pale imitations of Survivorman

I only just realised he's bald. How did I never notice this before?

His Bigfoot footage is spooky.

YOU CAN AVOID PARASITES BY EATING YOUR OWN POO INSTEAD OF THAT HYENA'S POO

For me, it's Ray Mears.

This. Every achievement of people born with privilege is NULL AND VOID!

As an occasional outdoorsman I wasn’t at all bothered by Missing 411, until Les Straud showed up and then I grew greatly concerned.

Eh’cept ‘e really showed fehk ahl innit? Fahkin pooftah twat prattlin on bout ‘is piss fah tea a scones made ov shite.

He inspired me to start eating arthropods. Some of them are surprisingly delicious. Harvest spiders are my favourites.

Literally my average Tuesday.

Do you reckon he licked his hand after Mel B pissed on it? Also why was she so keen to piss on his hand?

No it's not. It's literally just a shadow that vaguely looks like a head and shoulders if you squint and turn your head sideways. Also he outed himself as a schizo retard when he told that story about two floating orbs in the forest telepathically communticating with him.

and then afterwards I can clean my shirt with water from this spring over here

Same but with elephant fecal water. If you let it ferment for a while you can even get some surprisingly nice wine out of it. The vapors even give you a nice pleasant buzz.

Almost all the survival experts are shit because they're city slickers and survival is just a hobby for them. Even the ones who make a living teaching it are not that good. Plenty of their tips are just not practical or realistic. For tv shows, I get it. It's fun and a spectacle. But for the ones who teach, it's inexcusable and dangerous.