33
kissless virgin
no friends, barely any in my life
wageslave with a pathetic worthless job
love with mommy and daddy still
don’t even drive a car
have a few hobbies I do that keeps me active and I meet some people but never open up to anyone, still avoid everyone and everything
no positive memories to look back on
don’t even smile, laugh or make eye contact anymore, just stay silent, stare at the ground frowning
Then I look at my parents who have “retired” and they have no friends, no hobbies, do nothing. My father retired then just became an independent contractor doing his same work, because did he didn’t work, literally all he would do is sit on the couch watching YouTube on his phone all day every day. And I won’t even have an existence as good as theirs, because they at least managed to buy a house, recently bought one to rent out and probably eventually move to, and save a ton of money, but they still have no real life anyway.
I hope I get the courage to kill myself as soon as I can. I doubt it though, considering my cowardice has led me to this point. I’m too cowardly to do basic life things, let alone the bravest thing you can do, suicide