Who would win in a fight between these two?

You ain't a real one

Moe from the 3 Stooges looks tougher than him

Imagine getting banged by these two dudes

fake tough guy vs closet homosexual

My bet is on the homo cuz he'd fight dirty.

mooooooooooooom, they are freezing global again

Implying they wouldn’t just start getting gay with each other and bust crusts

the real one obviously
pedro would probably cry at a slight gust of wind

closet

it ain't no secret lil bro

Pedro is not gay you fucking morons

he criticized israel so there is a lot of anti-shilling going on and poor anons got caught up in it

Disney is bringing the iconic PUNISHER SKULL back.

After fucking up the character again and again.
Punisher's Wife taking over, having a generic shield agent be punisher.
(Dude has been getting the KITTY PRYDE treatment — give them new purposes, way off the genre they began with)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Punisher

Writer Christopher Golden's four-issue Marvel Knights miniseries The Punisher: Purgatory (November 1998 – February 1999) posited a deceased Punisher resurrected as a supernatural agent of various angels and demons. This version of the character also appeared in a 4-issue mini-series co-starring Wolverine.

As part of his work on the character, Rick Remender wrote the one-shot title Dark Reign: The List – Punisher, which, as part of the "Dark Reign" storyline, shows the character dismembered and decapitated by Daken.[48]

Following this, the main Punisher series was renamed FrankenCastle and featured a Castle who is resurrected by Morbius and the Legion of Monsters as a patchwork, Frankenstein-like creature.[49][50] He joins up with the Legion of Monsters to help protect the monsters of Monster Metropolis from the Hunter of Monster Special Force.[51] At the conclusion of the series, the character was transformed back into a normal human when he acquired the mystical Bloodstone, with its healing abilities restoring his humanity.

The Punisher decimates the Black Dawn, and dies from gunshot wounds as the Earth is destroyed by the Incursions.[69]

All-New Punisher and Civil War II: Kingpin
After Earth-616 has been restored, Frank Castle returns from the dead and comes back to New York City, to continue his personal war against criminal organizations and enterprises.

No one said anything about secrets, dumb nigger. Not openly admitting you're a homosexual is closet homosexuality by definition, "lil bro."

Can Pedro even run at this speed?

Who burns local the brightest?

Halfway into the match they’d just end up buttfucking each other.

That's how real men solve their problems

criticized Israel

agreed to star in a piece of Israeli propaganda

Something doesn’t add up

Frankly, if they're going down the BATSHIT NUTSO route for Punisher after trying to DEI & SJW assassinate his character in several stupid ways, they might as well go full nutty and happily run back to 1960's Comic Tropes.

Frank Castle adopts child sidekicks (to replace his dead children) and goes BATMAN FAMILY without the no killing rule. Ideally, he'd get one or more of THE FOOL KILLER guys to act as mentors to his adopted kids.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foolkiller

Where ending the evils of humanity should not only be SATISFYING, PLUS HILARIOUS. Then instead of just replacing his son and daughter, he begins branching out as more orphaned child wannabes show up fighting crime. Ideally adding in Wendy & Marvin type sidekicks and Zan & Jayce Skrull sidekicks. Indirectly mocking and doing grim comedy to the sidekick genre itself. Eventually having it become TOO MANY DAMNED SIDEKICKS as a specific storyline as most of his time isn't spent taking out criminals, but micromanaging hundreds of sidekicks.

To some degree implying Frank Castle is in a pseudo-purgatory where he's basically a "Spirit of Vengeance" cursed soul that doesn't understand his situation or simply doesn't give a fuck anymore. That would give "the modern day" writers a way to shoehorn Frank into more varied situations while still keeping the main story Trope running, like DOOMGUY from the DOOM games. Without locking him into some stupid BATMAN analogy.

To paraphrase THE SHOVELER from the MYSTERY MEN movie... "I'M *REALLY GOOD* AT SHOVELING."

Making him a Defacto "Spirit of Vengeance" basically frees him from the whole, "one trick pony" gambit and makes him more of a tortured hero punished by the Gods. He is punished to be THE PUNISHER, like Hercules had to deal with godly drama beyond his control just as a matter of his birth. Sure, he gets a few perks which are very enjoyable, but he has to rerun the stupid "12 Labors of Hercules" on repeat for eternity as a condition of his immortality.

Tell us more, please

Frank is back, funnily enough. They caved in after the fans wouldn't take it.

Pedro Bustacrust is gonna put this little fella in the ground.

Tell us more, please

Me, I'd dredge up more cliches from DC COMICS and just go batshit with them. Note the revolving door on death with pretty much everyone in MARVEL. Well, there's a FAWCETT character called KID ETERNITY that resurrects dead souls. But it's been covered OFFICIALLY in the comics that Franklin Richards has been doing yearly resets on Earth 616 which brings back the dead hero's on the regular. Frank Castle should puzzle this out and look for reality benders that resurrect heroes and bad guys (Kingpin and the various mob goons like Hammerhead for example). Realizing he cannot permanently end death's revolving door policy and fix the world, he can take his TOO MANY SIDEKICKS experience and go Amanda Waller (which they basically already did with the "52 State Initiative" inspired by THUNDERBOLTS) and get psychics and body possession powered villains to brainwash these villains to reform. Which causes the local universe to unlease stupid shit equivalents to keep things interesting like THE LEGION OF SUPERVILLAIN PETS and corny tropes like hippies with wishing powers and cringey crossovers with wannabe big name heroes.

The idea is that he's locked into his genre as a Gun Vengeance Dude and deviations from that causes the universe to get more batshitty dumb as a result. Like having the classic villains resurrect in MY LITTLE PONY formats or in the past, crossovers with ARCHIE comics. Accepting, like a videogame that having to rekill iconic enemies, though stupid, is just a cost of his continued existence. THE PUNISHED PUNISHER.

However, also like a videogame, the more replays you do of difficult levels, THE EASIER IT BECOMES because you know their power moves better than they do. You're not trying to one-shot them, but strafe & dodge, exploiting predictable tiresome attack patterns. The idea isn't to make Frank Castle a meta-aware 4th-wall breaker, but a guy who realizes that when he's bored or frustrated, he can change up the game.

What about the audience. Aren't they the real victims?

To some degree, another choice is to BATMITE him. Where he's doing his thing too well (like the President of El Salvador) and the universe unleashes PUNISHER-MITE upon him. Who explains that the 7th-Dimensional Entity is his biggest fan. But he cannot let his comics become too boring or his series will be cancelled again.

Punisher-Mite explains he will only disappear if he can get him to say MEPHISTO backwards and uses his magic to "make things more interesting". Punisher will, of course, defeat PUNISHER-MITE and after that THE GREAT DABOOB appears, a green Impossible Man analog with similar powers that acts like THE GREAT GAZOO to Frank Castle to torment him for a few more issues. Which follows with Mrs. MCMLXXIV (1974, Punishers intro year) being a nagging Karen magical-imp causing problems until he can cause her to vanish.

Then he gets a Magical Cartoon Sidekick version of SPIDER-BUGGY (Speed-Buggy knockoff) with a flexible humanoid face and wisecracking personality along with tag-along teen sidekicks plus obligatory talking animal. Which he ditches the teen sidekicks until the spurt out some absolutely corny morality phrasing at the end of the issue.

But the core concept tropes of THE PUNISHER comics, bloody gunfights, taking out street gangs, stopping drug trafficking should a uncensored aspect of all these magical torment distractions, indicating Supernatural Evil forces are just fucking with him because he cannot stop them. After those runs, he settles back into the comfortable groove with some of these imps being spotted in background crowds or as ominous silhouettes. Until he gets Dr. Strange and other mystical characters involved.

Ideally, the goal is to establish that the reason "the best selling story formulas" are being screwed with is a mix of supernatural evil and editorial malingering.

Why don't these new stars take roids anymore

I legit want one of those oversized hats with "Burn Local" on it.

SHITS GONNA CATCH UP WITH YOU ONE DAY

baby you don't gotta go to vegas with your girlfriends to burn coal, just burn local baby

Both. Obviously.

The first one that comes out of the closet.

They'd girly slap fight while arguing who gets to be the catcher.

They're both closeted homos