Be me, normal guy

be me, normal guy

married

wife is pregnant with our first child

one day, see her fading into dust right in front of me

have no idea what just happened

feeling completely terrified, scared and hopeless

learn that billions of people everywhere on earth have vanished just like my wife

have no idea what to do with life now

as the years pass, decide to move on

go to therapy group, work for charity, meet new people

start hooking up with this girl who lost all of her family

we start dating, things are starting to become serious

few months later she gets pregnant

can't help but remember wife who died exactly 5 years ago

doorbell is ringing

wtf, it's my wife

alive and pregnant, looking exactly the same as the day she vanished

she's happy to see me, laughing and crying at the same time

don't know what to tell her, or my girlfriend

Fuck you Avengers. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?
Also earth is overpopulated again now.

Two wife’s and two kids?

Your fault for committing adultery.

What if you turned to dust on the fifth floor of an office building but during the five years you were gone they ripped down the building. Would you rematerialize five stories in the air or in the ground?

blame tony
he was the one who forced the avengers to just bring everyone back so he could keep his daughter who he didn't get to be around for anyway because he died lol

I know you don't care and admittedly the movie didn't outright state it but it's strongly implied Bruce wished everyone who died from the snap to come back to life into a place where they would be immediately safe.

I'm thinking Hulk structured his snap in such a way that you'd rematerialize on the sidewalk in front of where the building was. Its like making a wish with a genie and making sure you word it correctly so everyone comes back safe no matter how the world changed in 5 years

Why didn't Thor ask the other gods to help fight Thanos? Gods hate titans. They're well known for it.

too busy getting drunk and fat

The comic story never did a 5 year jump so this sort of fucked up thing wouldn't happen.

plants apparently aren't living things that use up resources

See in the comics Thanos was only killing off advance intelligent life because Death was annoyed at it living longer thanks to medicine. Death didn't give a fuck about animals as they were incapable of outsmarting death.

It's a pretty big plot point in Falcon and the Winter Soldier (which you may not have seen since it's absolute dogshit). Bunch of people suddenly pop back into existence. They've been gone 5 years so their house and possessions have been lost/taken over by others and they end up as muh refugees. The initial antagonists are terrorists/violent activists who eventually turn out to just be le wholesome chungus refugees whose lives got stolen from them while they were snapped away.

DO BETTER

No, haven't seen it.

But what about groot? Both a plant and a higher intelligence. Were there potentially sentient algae that suffered?

I once seent a slime mold solve a maze. Tell me the fate of the slime mold.

I've always wondered if practical time travel was invented we'd just materialize into empty space because the Earth is in a different place, as is the Solar System, as is the galaxy, etc.
It's foolish to think we'd get the coordinates exactly right to be standing atop the crust of the Earth even if we had all the data - what's the true frame of reference?

If it's living at your house eternal life. How nasty are you that you let mold live long enough to start solving things? Open a window and let some sunlight in at least if cleaning is too much for you.

The initial antagonists are terrorists/violent activists who eventually turn out to just be le wholesome chungus refugees whose lives got stolen from them while they were snapped away

No, they were people who were trying to steal everyones shit after those people were snapped away. Their entire reasoning was they couldn't be held responsible for trying to take everything because their lives were terrible before the snap, it was those evil rich countries that kept us down, so lets take everything of theirs while we have the chance. You had people coming back from the snap being told "Oh well, they're here now having moved in while you were gone, you're just going to have to let them have everything!"

Gravity. You lock your time machine onto the planet's gravity.

That's why I said advanced intelligent life that had the capabilities to live longer thanks to medicine.

Or, what if you didn't turn to dust, but the pilot and co-pilot flying the plane you were in did, which lead to your plane crashing into the ocean killing everyone onboard, including you?
Do you get to come back, or just the pilots?

Yeah might be, just some other variant of current year faggotry. I didn't memorize much about this show because it was so bad.

Never outright stated in the movie but presumably they'd return too. I assume that, Bruce being the literally genius that he is, considered situations like that.

You input the velocity in which all things are moving and either trace it back or forward depending if you wanna go to the past or future respectively. I mean we can predict the positions of astronomical bodies all the time. We know that our solar system's galactic orbit has it going up and down through the galactic plane and that we're in between going through it at this moment.
How do you lock onto gravity in the past or future?

How do you travel through time?

Sure and I'll just inject bleach into my veins you absolute magatard lol

Pour it on the mold first you filthy fuck.

This the problem with Falcon/Winter Soldier, the exposition was so muddy it is possible to get it completely backwards

Technically we are traveling through time. Going further to the future is possible simply going faster and faster to the speed of light thanks to relativity and not being affected by gravity which is why satellites need atomic clocks that go at a different rate to make up for the time dilation gravity causes or else things like GPS wouldn't work. Going to the past however is still impossible because we don't know how to make physics and entropy reverse on itself.

Eternity only grants a single wish. Gor was the first to find it and wished his daughter back. That means no more wishes for anyone as only the first person to reach eternity gets to make one.

Why didn't they use timetravel to stop hitler and the nazis from doing a holocaust?

Why doesn't ANYONE go back and save Jesus from being nailed to the cross and murdered at 33?

Prophecies needed to be fulfilled, and the Sanhedrin and their ilk needed to be reminded how undesirable and treacherous they are

They only had enough time travel juice for one trip plus two test trips, one of which ant man hilariously wastes by accident.

33

33

Well done.

Holy checked

It was a good idea squandered.
The whole snap period and returning from the snap was ripe for more smart and serious themes and stories.
But that shit ain't marvel, and it's too late now to go back.

hey remember those years when half the universe died and was brought back and it was absolute bedlam?

Nah

You knew what you were doing right?

9/11?

You move through time relative to an anchor object. The trick is to make sure your anchor is still in a safe zone

it's not adultery if your wife is dead
did you mean fornication?

He was too busy shorting airline stock so him and Peggy could buy a fifth vacation home that they'd occupy for two weeks a year.

LORD

Yes it is

Dude, we can't even predict our local weather precisely enough; what makes you think we can predict perfect orbital routing and Earth spin down the millimeter and microsecond?

Unless your answer can, indeed, solve that for me, you're wrong.

If a woman is pregnant, and she gets snapped but the baby doesn't, what happens? Does a half-formed foetus drop to the ground with a splat where the mother was a moment ago?

Captain America is a

terrible

"hero."

Fetuses aren't human beings, they're just clumps of cells. That's why it's okay to abort them.

Mate the planet is constantly orbiting the sun. If people got unsnapped to their last location everyone would be floating in space.

The sun itself is also orbiting the centre of the galaxy.

snaps half of all life

this somehow equals exactly half of the human population

wouldn't it be some arbitrary number? it might even be a miniscule number since there's probably some species with quintillions of lives across different planets.

Jesus would just send their ass back with a warning not to fuck with time travel ever again

His snap had conditions, the same as fag Hulk's snap had conditions like everyone who snaps back will be safe and not fall to their deaths because they snapped out of an airplane.

heh

hehehe

It's by definition, not

half of people die

more death follows due to vehicular accidents, aircraft crashes, emergency responders disappearing at the worst time, shipping and food production out of whack, people starve, tons of other shit

5 years pass, production has adjusted to meet the new lower demand

housing is cheap, sometimes even free

people are settling into their new lives

Iron Man makes the population almost double instantly, doubling demand

mass starvation ensues, violence, etc

This is after he made a psycho AI robot lmao

snaps away half of all higher life forms on Earth

Ants and flies arent at least 90% of the casualties

????

Because orbital mechanics isn't the same as weather patterns. You have far more variables going on for weather predictions than you do going out into open space where speed and mass are the main components at play here. They discovered the existence of Neptune using only math back in the mid 19th century because the orbit of Uranus wasn't matching up with improved calculations in orbital mechanics and used that math to predict where the new object would be and sure enough astronomers were seeing Neptune when they aimed their telescopes to the predicted position the planet would be within a margin of error of 1 degree which is pretty friggin amazing for someone doing the math in their head. You're never going to get 100% accuracy because that's highly improbable.

youtu.be/8X6R8y1LeBg?si=87kjOmgQ-jbgBmSa

Tony Stark was always an asshole in the comics. Robert Downey Jr made him quippy and nice.

be old man dying alone at the hospital

wired to machines and drugged up so he can't feel the pain

suddenly turns to ashes, relieved from his miserable existence

5 years later

old man pops up in the middle of nowhere

can feel 100% of the pain

nobody to take care of him

dies a long and horrific death

Why are the Avengers such cunts?

You're never going to get 100% accuracy because that's highly improbable.

I'm happy you gave a thought out response, Anon, thank you.

I'm still unwilling to take the chance of "not 100% accuracy" when it comes to "make sure I appear on the correct lattitude/longitude to the .00001 degree in the infinite vastness of space in the year 429 on May 20 at 7:31 p.m. while standing on a level beachfront and not falling from the sky or buried in the Earth's magma" is possible.

I am happy to hear that astronomers in 1800s were able to calculate the position of Neptune and took the risk of looking through a telescope to see it, though.

snap happens

kills hundreds of trillions of mosquitos and 2 people

I thought that's where the OP was going.
I suppose Thanos inadvertently proved where life begins.

210722480

be me, normal guy

married

have wife and daughter(6yo)

one day, see wife fading into dust right in front of me

have no idea what just happened

marry and fuck my daughterwife

I don't see the problem.

oh your whole family died but left you alive? damn that sucks. yeah my wife's dog disappeared and left dust all over the floor, but he's in a better place now.

whole family dies

that shitty cousin you hate is still there and you still have to see him every Christmas

Just become mormon or muslim, problem solved.

It really is
Marriage is a bond that lasts entire life
When married couples die they get reunited in heaven
When a married couple dies but one of them remarried do you think God would allow polyamory( A SIN) in heaven ? No. Therefore remarrying after your married partner dies is a sin and adultery. You are spiritually cucking your second other.

Because they'd be robbing everyone from eternal salvation?

Fuck off anon don't act like a devout christian. We all know you jerk off to tranny porn.

When married couples die they get reunited in heaven

And which onions-drinking plebbit-tier Hollywood catechism would that be from?

Theologically, the marriage bond is only broken by death. It doesn't continue in the hereafter.

Thanos's ideology makes no sense in general.

Thanos' ideology makes sense if you aren't autistic. He's a psycho that gets off on killing who's latched onto an ideology that frames him as heroic for engaging in slaughter, that's it.

Mormons can get special married where they'll reunite in the afterlife.

I'm going to let you in on a secret: according to the Bible, "marriage" is NOT restricted to monogamy.

Be careful what definition or version of Abrahamic religion you choose to define infinite holiness.

Fun fact, even the location of "Hell" doesn't exist in the Bible.

Luke 20

34 And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:

35 But they which shall be accounted worthy to obtain that world, and the resurrection from the dead, neither marry, nor are given in marriage:

36 Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.

You can stop larping now.

Fun fact

STFU reddit

Isn’t the implication there more that when she was gone, someone else moved in?

This what if scenario is pretty much what the show leftovers is about

When married couples die they get reunited in heaven

But Rose went to Heaven and got reunited with some criminal streetrat she fucked, once, on a ship when she was 17!
It was the most memorable moment of her life, to her. Is she going to spend eternity now?

Nothing you copy pasted says anything about remarrying not being adultery.

She's going to spend eternity in hell like everyone else who had sex outside of wedlock

The planet has been spinning and moving away in those past five years so the fifth floor should be your least concern.

Nothing you said about married couples being reunited in heaven made any theological sense. You're not a Christian. Pretending to be one on Chinese forums won't save your soul.

atheistbros our response?!

If they don't go to heaven together there's no point in marriage anymore as it is not holy and there is not point in love anymore as it serves no purpose taken to it's logical extreme your ideology is just nihilism with extra steps where nothing matters. Therefore remarrying is adultery.

Well with your thinking we'd never do anything.

You are arguing with a Mormon, who by definition is a retard and a heretic. Dont waste your time

we'd never do anything

...with time travel, right.

But the movie's don't make him out like that. Comic Thanos is a whacko that loves killing because he's literally in love with Death itself and cannot be reasoned with. Movie Thanos acts like some reluctant villain who's only doing what he thinks is best for everyone. Only in Endgame does he act like a total villain when he says he's gonna take pleasure in slowly destroying Earth and that's only because the Avengers were the only ones causing his plans to fail.

destroy 50% of the population

theres now an abundance of resources for the remaining 50 as well as cheap housing and stable, high paying jobs

theres another baby boom and population increases tenfold within two generations

Was Thanos retarded ?

destroy 50% of the herbivore population due to lack of resources

50% of carnivores don't have anything to eat now and all die out

Was Thanos retarded ?

No, I mean anything. When trains were being made, "experts" were warning it would kill people as the human body wouldn't be able to withstand the forces from the speeds until people took the risk and did it. Every time an astronaut gets onto a rocket, they're taking the risk that one of the possible variables that could lead to it blowing up doesn't happen. The guys who made the first nuke weren't 100% sure it wasn't gonna go and cause an unstoppable chain reaction of all atoms in the atmosphere to begin fission and fry the planet in nuclear fire. Exploring new frontiers comes with risks. Imagine if they quit trying to land on the moon because of the first death that occurred. People were learning about radiation before knowing that the health risks were because they were ignorant of it until they no longer were and began to change how they would approach it.

If they don't go to heaven together there's no point in marriage anymore

so you also believe if one partner is saved, both must be, or marriage doesn't make sense?

Yes because he genuinely thought everyone would be like "Oh, well we should learn to be more stingy with our resources and control our population growth" despite most of the universe having no idea who Thanos is and just saw half of the living things on their plant just vanish for no reason. It's why comic Thanos is a better villain because his motives are simply to kill half of all intelligent life because Death has ordered him to do so then over time his work had become a maddening obsession with Death to the point of Thanos falling in love with Death and believed achieving the goal in an instant with the Infinity Stones would impress Death enough to love him. There's no stupid ideology with more holes than a slice of Swiss cheese. Just a crazy guy doing a crazy thing for crazy reasons.

based

Lucky that the baby dusted with her. Imagine if it had been only one or the other.

she dusts, and the baby is left behind, a gross, pink, barely formed blob on the floor

the baby dusts, and one day a gross, pink, barely formed blob on the floor appears out of nowhere

So the ending Is raciss?
Daaaaammmm

What if a baby that was barely being birthed got snapped?

Because I'm Satan.

I'm Belzebutt.
Yeah, he wasn't the sharpest purple sharpie in Scarlet Witch's butt.

Who's LuChiffre?

have access to time travel

go back in time to give the secret of time travel to early humans

stay in the quantumverse and find a way to watch the new history of your universe unfold in hilarious ways as humans break the space time continuum on a regular basis

An odd fellow. You could even say he's the number one weirdo around these parts. A little person. The fraction of a man, really. A real square.

Dumb
youtube.com/watch?v=HyzT5b0tNtk

Thanos is a democr*t, so he doesn't believe babies have souls/are people until their born

He's the Mad Titan

Mad in that sense means crazy. He's not crazy, just stupid and immature because he never put any thought into anything. His alternate timeline self was so annoyed that even after the snap, the people chose to resist and undo what that Thanos had done and then just completely abandons his entirely philosophy to now wanna restart the universe and make it how he sees fit like an angry child would.

be me

get snapped

suddenly blip back into existence

no one even realized I was gone

apartment came in and trashed all my shit due to unpaid rent/abandonment and now someone else lives there

neetbux stopped because presumed dead, all documentation lost when apartment trashed it all so can't get it back

audited for five years back taxes

now homeless and penniless

It's spacetime. So traveling in time is traveling in space.

Imagine being on the verge of cumming in a girl right as she gets snapped and her tight pussy loosens its grip as it turns into ash and you're left with blue balls that has never before occurred on this planet.