Jurassic Park has officially gone off the rails

Jurassic Park has officially gone off the rails

As a kid in the 90s, I preferred the generic dinosaur toys because the official JP ones had that retarded "official JP" logo on the side.

They were also way cheaper.

This guy was always the king, even though the others mogged him in size

Or it hasn't gone nearly far enough off the rails. Maybe Gundam suits and lasers emitting from mutant freak dinosaur eyes is just what the franchise needs to revitalize itself.

tfw still no dino/human sex

all we got is down syndrome dinosaurs

Scalies bros, this is not fair...

You can just say Dino Riders

For me? It was Chinasaurs

I HAD HIM!!!

It's kind of like if the T-Rex was designed by H.R. Giger

I doubt this person know's who that is, because it looks nothing like he work, designs or aesthetic and themes.

Birthplace of DnD.

This guy was my GOAT.

This.
Giger was a complete pervert, there's nothing sexual about some big dumb not-dinosaur.

FishStickOnAStick will not take the news well

Better?

If you pay attention to slop like this, you get what you deserve.

Unfortunately, India and China dont care about soul as they have none so it will still turn a profit

Nah, they need to do the Fast and the Furious and Universal Monsters crossovers next

Hello There

This, they've done the same shit but worse each time for 6 movies. A stealth Dino Crisis adaptation under the JP umbrella would be fine with me.

Should have gone the cloned army of Ninja Raptor Men route.

distortus rex

Sounds like a Mad Max villain

Engineer girls look like THAT?!

I had these 2 fellas

six limbs

two are tiny

Beyond stupid...

It's CGI pasta from John Carter of Mars. Flop flop flop.

what's even going on anymore? didn't they already do this plot with that white trex?

Jesus christ, they’re still making these?

Distortus Rex? More like DISASTROUS Rex amirite? HAHA!

Why is the best they can do with this IP is just increase the size of the "boss dinosaur" every fucking movie?

I will now watch your movie.

IT'S YOU WHO'S OFF THE RAILS JENNY

BRING
BACK
SHORT
FORM
CONTENT
YOU
BITCH

Kinda wild how random YouTube Zoomers can make scarier JP scenes/encounters with PS3 level graphics than Hollywood Millenoids with a 100 million dollar budget.

Honestly what they need to do is just stick the whole franchise on a backburner for at least a decade and then do something that hews a bit closer to the book. 1989 setting, random scientists and guards still on the island, the raft scene, etc.

Just waiting for mecha t-rex vs giganothosaurus

The world is ruled by the devils.

Do you remember when the Fast and the Furious series got *better* when it went off the rails?
All I'm sayin' is there's a chance that this is a good thing.

Yeah man all that stuff sounds great, but the people in charge of the JP franchise don't care about the plot, nor the quality of the film, their mission is to sale shit tons of merch and toys.

dinosaurs living a quarter mile at a time

D-do I want this?

what about N-rex

OH NO A BUTT I’M GOING INSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE HELP ME PREACHER MAN

least repressed American

This is literally an episode of Voyager

Gareth Edwards

Why do they still let this retard make movies

I've wanted to see her nude for years. More than any other woman. That cute FAS face probably has a tight body.

imagine if they just... made scary dinosaurs

Wasn't the last one D-Rex too?

I was unable to jerk off to it.

you can't trademark the likeness of a normal t-rex for toy an merch sales

You can't? Somebody should let Mattel know that.

I don't care what they do, I got to experience the originals in the 90's and grew up with the kino toys.

realistically WTF MORE CAN THEY DO....it was either dinosaurs in space or turn it into a fuckin Kaiju series

Imagine a t-rex with 500 teeth!

Jurassic Park has never been good.

jurassic park has been retarded woke shit since lost world

if i was ingen i would just invent a big dinosaur lady

Am I crazy or was there some loredump that this Jenny broad came from rich oil money that everyone hastily covered up because she cried about it

Instead of a zoo, why didn't they made a burlesque show, are they stupid?

Make way for the rated R dino kino this year

based

real dinosaurs looked like goofy af giant birds anyway

Yeah you could have literally taken it to like fucking dinosaur Pokémon how to train your trex fantasy world after you put dinos on the mainland, but you followed it up with literally the worst Jurassic Park/World movie I’ve ever seen that’s the 6th rehash of the exact same thing

You even renamed it Jurassic WORLD

You could have done a whole WORLD:

Heartwarming human-centric dino-taming movie

no dialogue dino-centric film about a young dino, very avant-garde, wins an film festival

amores dinos

13 (million) hours, spec ops with dinos super corporate espionage, hybrid human dino enemies (fantastic video game version)

Did your sister also make you put these on your dick?

the last two movies made over a billion dollars each anon, they're not going anywhere

wut is this?

holy kek his quote sounds like someone shitposting about redditors here

There hasn't been a good Jurassic Park movie since '93, why are you surprised?

This is Seeker, listen up! You've got to get in, grab that Iguanodon, and get out before the asteroid hits, let's go!

Imagine the microplastics.

the last two movies made over a billion dollars each

Are you serious? What the hell for?

Found Footage

Scary

KYS

And make sure to kick all faggots out of the Time Rover!
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wallace_Langham

you're not supposed to eat it, anon

how long till Jurassic world goes to space?

The whole idea of Jurassic Park was that they were not just evil monsters.

Because they're awful and I continue to pay for a ticket. I will not apologize.

I rode that a few months ago after only doing it when it first opened. It’s more like a neck brace sales scam than a ride with how jerky it is. I remembered being mad as a kid at Jurassic era dinosaurs in the Cretaceous period

FAS

what is the sexiest pic of this girl that exists?

I got your d-rex right here *grabs dick*

(Looks at camera) “Now that’s what I call a micro raptor”

D-rex :DDDD

OH NO NO NO NOOOOOOO

Americans see shit like this and say "Hell yeah"

Looks like a retarded Barroth without the bony crown

It's macroplastics.

The sauropsids have lost. It's time for Permian Park.

ruins movies forever by turning them into toy commercials

He really is to blame for everything. What a fucking hack.

Wait, what's the lore here, I had these 2 too, what the fuck.

god I wish

210393901

The DISTORTED rex, with a sick and TWISTED sense of humor

I wish they had just done the human/dino hybrid soldiers like the original plan for JP4

muh conspiracy

Fuckin retards that think there’s always some deep conspiracy. McDonald’s never trademarked the fucking cheeseburger but made billions selling them. And before some moron tries to compare the trademark of the logo, they aren’t in the logo selling business and shit like the characters they’ve created (Ronald, hamburgler) were a form of advertising.

China loves reusing molds. There are some dinosaur toys still being made that had their molds made in the 50s.

who watches these movies?

Reminds me of the Alien 4 Xenomorph. A redesign of a classic monster that looks like a downie.

i will watch this if it turns into this

Hollywood Millenoids with a 100 million dollar budget.

HAHAHAH! So the creative control—direction, writing, producing—sits with GenX/Boomers, while several on‑screen stars are Millennials. Gen X leads and there is one co-writer who is a millennial woman. Fuck off.

Jurassic Park is about like Ghostbusters in the sense that I do not understand how anybody has any interest in it beyond the first movie.

It's crazy to me that studios will spend 300 million on a movie and still cheap out on hiring a semi-competent writer for their script when any random chimp found on craigslist could write them a more coherent story than the nonsense they've been shitting out