I am Uhtred, son of Uhtred

I am Uhtred, son of Uhtred.

I want to have sex with brida

I like how magic in this world is literally just weaponized superstition. Psychology. Just like real life. Stories have true power. No wonder that funny fortune teller was named Stori.

Current level: 45
Bebbenbuh (recommended level 89)

no, I am Uhtred, son of Uhtred.

Me too. She seems like the warm and wet type

For me, its Skade

Impossible!

Need to do more quests for Alfred to earn more XP

Time to grind some quests for Alfred

Hated her so much

y tho, evil chicks are great

The writer/director of many episodes made 'this City is Ours'. Decent watch.

Cheesy fantasy chanting mixed with fife and drum intro plays

Small skirmish between the Saxons and Danes

Uhtred flailing his sword around while Sihtric gives cover fire

They win the skirmish

Messenger on horseback approaches

"Arseling/Ealdorman/Lord Uhtred, you are summoned to King Alfred's tent"

"Bloody 'ell Finan, what's 'e want now"

Uhtred arrives in old Alfie's tent

His spymaster of the day is there

As is a weasel looking Saxon lord or Christian priest

"Uhtred, this is Lord Fucksworth, who has a dangerous mission for you - you will be enormously outnumbered, deep behind enemy lines with no support, oh and the heathen Hæsten is around so watch out for him

Lord Fucksworth insults him for being a poorfag but reluctantly accepts that this is Alfred's best man

"As ye like sir, Ah'll get it dun"

Cut to Uhtred and Finan discussing the mission

"It dun maek bloody sense Finan, why do they need us to tek this castle/find this woman/get these supplies/uncover this plot"

"Oh surely as the fields o' Ireland are green, sir, God has a plan for us, sir"

A few battles happen on the way to the objective

Oh look it's an attractive young woman who keeps looking at Uhtred suggestively

They fuck

"Look Finan! It's the thing we're here for!"

"LOOK OUT SIR"

Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Sharpe

Hæsten appears

"HE HE HE! Bamboozled you again my nemesis"

"Bloody Hæsten"

Battle happens

Finan goes "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH BANG" while dual wielding swords

Alfred arrives

"Well done Uhtred! You've done it again"

Uhtred and his men march into the sunset

"Destiny is all..."

WOOOOOAHOHOHOHO EYYYYYYAAH

kino

people told me not to watch the movie because it would ruin the perfect wrapped up ending of s5

they were right, i should have listened

"I have your soul Uhtred"

"Should we kill her?"

"No she has my soul, destiny is all"

If they'd made a true sixth series, instead of cramming everything into a 100-minute film, it would have ruled.

What's his grandfathers name?

Uhtred really did fuck some hot bitches

Uhtreder

Sharpe

Hornblower

Last Kingdom

where else do I scratch this itch for historical adventure tv kino, that these series have left in my heart frens?

Vikings
Black Sails

Vikings

becomes unwatchable after the first couple seasons, and after watching LK just feels souless in comparison.

Also never really cared for vikings and this period in history, LK is the exception because of its writing and performances that carry it, so ebin vikings for the sake of it doesn't do anything for me

Black Sails

been putting this off because I've heard it takes a while to get good, but I'll probably check it out one day

kek

Based

i am shitfart, son of poopfart

God that show was so fucking dull

Actual retard detected

gay show for fags

What was his problem?

Grandson of? Great grandson of?

Uhtred, I heard a rumor from Father Jizzface that you killed a peasant for disrespect. Is that true?

Aye. The bastard said my newest lover was demonic whore, so I trampled him with my horse and fed his heart to the pigs. My Danish spirit can’t tolerate such insult.

Well this is England and we follow Christian law. I could have you executed for murder, but you’re to valuable. Instead you will pay a fine and confess your sin.

FUCK YOU ALFRED! I WON’T SERVE A KING OR A GOD THAT TELLS ME I CAN’T KILL AND/OR FUCK WHOEVER I WANT. I’M REJOINING THE DANES!

Sure thing Uhtred, you can rejoin us. Forget about all the times you’ve killed us Danes in the past, water under the bridge. Now that you’re on our side we’ll finally crush Alfred once and for all.

Wait what? You’re gonna attack Alfred? Shit, I thought we were just gonna chill.

Well Alfred, I just betrayed the people that raised me to save you from annihilation (again). Will you finally help me reclaim Bebbenbuh?

Best I can do is a goat farm in Shitholenshire.

Destiny is all.

800s AD incel

Your name is Osbert

Lord Fucksworth appears and betrays Sharpe

Only realized just now it's the same writer

reading first book before rewatch is ultimate kino experience

Amazing.

She really was fucking awful. Keked heartily when she went out like an absolute retard

what did they mean by this