This is BEYOND asshood! You have the luxury of not caring about your image, I do not! I can permit a lot of crap...

This is BEYOND asshood! You have the luxury of not caring about your image, I do not! I can permit a lot of crap, but an employee shouting about his sexual exploits with me — no! That is zero tolerance! So congratulations House, 10 more clinic hours.

Only the first two or three seasons are worth watching. After that the emotional faggotry gets unbearable

You can't have that many episodes of Cameron guessing auto immune, Foreman guessing neurological and Chase making fun of the fat patient

i'd go beyond her ass

Cuddy was the hottest woman on the show and I'm tired of pretending she's not

You can't have that many episodes of Chase making fun of the fat patient

I would watch nothing else if every episode of every season was just Chase (and House) making fun of fatties while the others get their "muh fat acceptance" positions thoroughly rebuked

she wasn't even top 5

She was ONLY in contention for that title when she had bangs in season 5

nooo not clinic hours you can't just expect me to do the job i'm paid for

What the fuck was house's problem?

Specialists rage at having to do the menial tasks.

His counter-argument is that absolutely any doctor can do clinic duty while only he is qualified to sit on his ass and deny cases because the patients puke is puke colored and not blue

the episode where it turned out the entire thing was just a hallucination from vicodin withdrawal was amazing

Dude that show could have 30 seasons of the exact same formula of slop and Id still eat it and clap.

mysterious illness

House is not interested, because its the flu

patient starts bleeding chocolate from underneat their toenails

House is interested

simping for hot jewess

banter with the hunk, pussy and nig

banter with Wilson

patient gets worse, now reciting russian literature without ever reading it, kidneys are shutting down

or something

House is perplexed

simping for hot jewess in a middle of a serious moment

House is wrong

House is right

House is wrong

House is right

the hunk, pussy and nig break into patient's home

rare south american tomato species planted in pots all over the place

'you didnt think to mention your botanical hobbies????'

patient is now hookedy to every machine, in ICU, they're about to have their head amputated for medical reasons

House sees a ladybug on hot jewesses crotch while arguing with her and goes silent, staring into the distance for 6 seconds

House charges in surgery room, spits on surgeon's eye, punches nurse in the gut

its the flu

the break in happens waaay earlier

House steals food off of Wilson's plate in the cafeteria

it wasn't from withdrawal, he was popping vicodin the whole time

patient presents with see only unrelated symptoms

Run all sorts of expensive tests

Patient gets worse and is stuck in the hospital for days

Hooked up to machines, requires more care, even more expensive tests

Turns out it's just the flu or some shit and they give him some multivitamin and he's fine

Also is now $500k in debt

American healthcare is so deeply evil when it's better to just die at a certain point because you'll never escape the debt that you incur in getting treated.

What about Man Jaw McGraw?

Half the time the patient is some hobo or kid and Cuddy is footing the bill

the character with imminent death syndrome

Arrange a very "shitty" payment plan where you pay $10 bucks a month, and watch them remove the plan after a while.

The guy who could not lie said Cuddy's ass be phat. Even over bidexia.

Hmm the seinfeld risotto chick

noel fielding looks pretty rough these days.

I stopped watching House after they brought in the new diagnostic team. How the FUCK did the producers think it was appropriate not having Cuddy in the final season?

What's an asshood?

I kind of wish every episode was just Wilson and House tb h

People say this all the time but House really is one of those shows that couldn’t be made today.
House sexually harasses Cuddy at least once per episode,

House tells Wilson he quit Vicodin within one night and also fucked Cuddy

Wilson, who is always a skeptic and checks facts, instantly believes him on both counts despite House walking around popping pills in front of everyone all day long.

Everything after season 5 is in House's mind.

No shit. Why do you think all modern entertainment fucking sucks dick? Anything entertaining is considered offensive by today's standards. Shit is cringe as fuck. House is a complete asshole and you're not even supposed to like him. Being racist and sexually harassing his coworkers is supposed to be seen as bad traits but nowadays you can't even show those things because they're le bad.

house steals food from wilson in the cafeteria

records him torturing Wilson's dog and sends him the tape

cuts the break lines so wilson crashes and totals his car

"YOU KNOW HOUSE THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS YOU PUSH PEOPLE AW-"

"you're still coming to dinner this saturday?"

"...yeah"

the episode where the patient has some brain condition that makes it so he has no filter, and upon seeing them, immediately starts describing the threesome he wants to have with Cuddy and Thirteen.

House's cane tapped on the polished floor as he strode to the whiteboard, marker in hand.

"Okay, what have we got?"

"Patient has been denied orgasm for 74 hours" Foreman said

"Repeated sodomizing has caused massive trauma to his colon as well as both the large and small intestine" Chase added.

"When the gags are removed he just begs to be allowed to cum or be killed" Cameron said coyly.

Shackled and unable to speak, his face hidden behind the porcelain mask of a fine lady which matched his perfume and dress, Wilson could only watch in horror as House advanced on him.

Swinging his cane in short cruel arc into Wilson's genitals House addressed his team

"Alright, let's get to work on this little bitch.

officer tritter is one of the most respected citizens of this community, House, and you inserted a thermometer in his rectum, threw the sample in the trash, and THEN got arrested with an illegal prescription of vicodin????

but CUDDY I HAVE PROOF THAT THE PATIENT IS IN NEED OF AN EPIDURAL WITH 3MG OF SILICA GEL THAT WILL CURE HIS LUPUS INDUCED COMMA

>i DONT WANNA HEAR IT HOUSE YOU ARE OUT OF HERE

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chase making fun of fatties

30 MORE SEASONS

fucking lol

MY BODY IS A CAGE

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What if he missed

I have proof

He didn't. He had no medical reason to believe it would work.

Homoromantic

This episode was hilarious.

this episode was inspired by a real life event with stephen fry

post that scene in that movie where she gets spanked.