What if Batman but fucking gay: the movie
What if Batman but fucking gay: the movie
It's based on Earth One Batman. But not the cool 1940s Earth One, the gay 2010s Earth One.
What The Batman takes the whole movie to incompetently explore, Batman Begins shows way more poignantly in a two minute scene.
Way better than Nolan slop
capeslop
grow up
Matt Reeves is the retarded version of Nolan
COPE, zoomer.
Calling it slop is not an argument.
Seriously. Every thread!
The Dark Knight is a better film, but The Batman is a higher quality kinomatic experience
make zoomer batman
actor is older than all the previous Batman were in their Batman movie other than Ben Affleck
And then for every two minutes of scenes that actually move the plot forward, you have five minutes of michael caine monologuing. Brilliant!
The Batman was not only a bad Batman movie but a bad movie in general.
bad dialogue
Bruce is an emo twink
the gimp mask
marketed as ultra realistic but fails
the flying squirrel suit scene
wants to be Nolan 2.0 but failed
blacked Gordon for some reason
Catwoman is a black transvestite crackhead
Riddler is a reddit shitposter
Terrible third act
Batmobile is a regular muscle car but BLACK
Michael Caine doesn't have more than ten minutes of screen time. Have you even watched this movie?
HOLY SHIT THE BATMAN IS BRUCE WAYN-ACK!
Yo, the wingsuit scene was sick. They did that in transformers.
Kek'd.
The Batmobile was fine, but that batsuit is atrocious, specially after Affleck nailed it with the BvS suit.
it was goofy as fuck.
gopro angle
pattinson making sex faces
bonking his head on the bridge and walking it off despite being le ultra realistic movie
Unfortunately, yes. It was exceedingly dull.
“Alfred, I have to become a symbol, the people of Gotham need me to rally behind-“
“Where you actually planning to fight any crime sir?”
“You interrupted my cool monologue. Now I have to start over.”
Then after running his mouth (growling the entire time) about all that angst, it turns out the only crime he’s really worried about is anyone hurting this prime piece of puss he wants plunder. Everything he does, he does for she. Does he get his end in? Course not.
Gay fucking movie.
What does a liar do when he's dead?
Lmao at this rottentomatoes screenshot thinking it proves something. This is only praised because Heath Ledger died
Defending The Batman
Complains about monologuing
What? Are you kidding? Are you purposely wasting my time? None of those scenes last more than three minutes while Robert Pattinson is yapping all over the place and blasting his nirvana tape over and over.
WHAT DOES A LIAR DO WHEN HE'S DEAD?
Stopping the league of shadows is about Rachel.
Literally how? She's assistent to the district attorney, of course she's involved, but that doesn't mean she's doing it all for her, did you miss the ending of the movie where she dumps him and he still continues to be Batman just the same?
The Batman has better fight scenes and really that’s the most important in a Batman movie. Also seeing Batman work as a detective on crime scenes was cool and way better than “hey let’s hack all the phones in the city”. Also Gotham is more like Gotham instead of Nolan’s Gotham wich is basically New York.
I AM BLACK, TALL, AND ENDOWED, WHAT AM I?
The Batman has better fight scenes
yeah! Battinson stumbling directly into gunfire is so great!!!
Also seeing Batman work as a detective on crime scenes was cool
Yeah him not being able to solve a simple riddle was totally cool, bro. so heckin radical
If you don't know, Gotham is New York.
A voiceover while other things happen on-screen is different from a straight up monologue. What Pattinson does there is similar to Bale talking to Gordon at the end of TDK, and it's of similar length.
What if Batman but fucking gay: the movie
Again?
Bulletproof Bats is cringe, but as far as fight choreography goes, it is better made than Nolan, truth be told.
Do some breathing exercises. We will get through this.
Yes, Gotham has always been connected or analogous to New York in some way, but most depictions of it in comics or other movies still tend to have a unique style and things that set it apart, whereas TDK and TDKR turn it into just New York with a name change and pretty much nothing else, sometimes using shots of the skyline with specific NYC landmarks that Gotham shouldn't have.
Voiceover is extremely frowned upon, specially in a visual media like movies and TV shows.
Do you guys remember when soilennial Batman had to beat but a group of racist skin heads who were bullying an Asian guy? You suddenly remember it was around the same time niggers we’re punching Asians in the face and pushing them onto subway tracks because of the Kung Flu
He lies still
Nolan's Gotham is divided into basically two sections, the underbelly where Falcone rules and the upper section where the Wayne's of the world live. I'll admit, TDK does show the underbelly of Gotham very sparingly as the criminal element is forced into hiding and the city improves. This could be just visual storytelling though, to show that Batman has indeed better the city with his involvement.
wrong. this is the best batman
this never happened
I remember. I also remember that the brown kid was the only one who hesitated to beat the Asian guy in that scene. Makes you think.
I turned it off after 12 minutes
I grew up from a seed, as tough as a weed. But in a mansion, in a slum, I'll never know where I come from. What am I?
A faggot.
Sneed's Feed and Seed
This could be just visual storytelling though, to show that Batman has indeed better the city with his involvement
It probably has more to do with Batman Begins being treated as more of a superhero movie, with more of a stylized depiction of Gotham closer to the Burtonverse that came before it, after which TDK pivoted to being a serious crime thriller "real movie" set in the real world where the superhero element is secondary
And I remember how short lived that “Stop Asian Hate” campaign was after people pointed out which demographic attacked Asians the most.
Why does nobody remember this when talking about The Batman?
Because it's on a streaming not everybody has access to. No one remembers agents of shield or daredevil when talking about the avengers, do they?
Dark Knight also made more money at a time when superhero movies weren't all the rage. By what metric do you think The Batman did better, then?
I'll appreciate this movie for making Batman a creepy Incel like me. Since they raped the joker good Incel representation is hard to come by.
Because it's on a streaming not everybody has access to
Are you a normalfag? You should kill yourself if you are. You can easily pirate it.
No one remembers agents of shield or daredevil when talking about the avengers
People remember Daredevil more than they do the first 2 Avengers movies.
Reminder that The Batman got beaten at the box office by Black Panther's ugly sister fighting undersea Mexicans.
Reread what I typed.
I don't want to.
based on
but set in the far flu-
no it isn't.
it's just another excuse to "ground it in reality".
if we say it was based on this series everyone loved, it is sure to be a smash hit!
but the graphics
back to Anon Babble
Voiceover is perfect for batman, one of the only things The Batman did right. Batman is alone, VO should be the only way to get any characterization out of him. Nolanman is not Batman. Also, lmao at you taking anything on youtube seriously.
Voiceover is perfect for batman, one of the only things The Batman did right.
Too bad the monologue were awfully written. Batman going on and on about scars and trying to explain what exactly he mean with the scar metaphor was pathetic and cringe.
Well, yeah, all writing is shit these days. That era ended with Twilight and the death by vaginal smothering of the publishing industry.
Fake Nolan movie, the totally not Nolan movie, but shows others can make a Nolan movie, the movie.
The Earth One line flopped