Realistically speaking what do you do in this situation?

Realistically speaking what do you do in this situation?

Not get hit by whatever the fuck that thing is

listen to what he had to say
and that's what no one did

Bring out the firewater, they will both be so plasterd after one shot we can all go home happy.

Perform a rain dance to make the ground slippery.

one of my favorite movies. I would start humming the theme song in that situation

Run to my gay little mines under the earth and cry to the absolute fools working with "greys".

Point to his feet and go "whats that! syke bitch". Proceed to Lenape leap behind him and finish him with a Navajo nun chuck to the skull

He spins all the way around when he swings, push him off the mountain when his back is turned.

Put him in the sharpshooter and make him tap out.

Remember how when this movie came out all the proto-woke mobsters protested it because they claimed it was stereotyping natives, then natives came out and said that no, it the movie was fucking based?

t. old man

I would be a white man.

They're called Native Americans

bug spray,
it looks like the fag is flailing around some cat by the taill

whatever the fuck that thing is

It’s a rifle but the buttstock is made into traditional heyyahooa style clubs. These were actually real and made some sense when we’re talking about a musket. You get a shot or two then you’re in hand to hand.
Like all iron and tech they’re trade goods brought by westerners to fit injun demand. This goes for the iconic tomahawks too. And horses didn’t exist until we brought them. Virtually all the tropes of native “culture” are just a few hundred years old at the point they’re going extinct.

pretend I'm the smooth criminal

Not native at all, they came over some land bridge from what's now known as russia.
You're full of shit.

I do in fact remember

hit them over the head with a bottle of jack daniels

Why are you russiians and ukrainians so full of shit that you cant admit it?

I laughed. I hope you end your day knowing you made a person laugh

horses didn’t exist until we brought them

You can't honestly believe that.

animals didn't exist until they were ferried over by man!

You sound like a complete fool.

Take their land, breed their women, and be back home by the time mama's cornbread done

Right, and we're all African. Shut up, retard.

this is the most hilariously retarded opinion I've seen in awhile

In the movie it's not a rifle just a rifle-shaped club.

Piss off, shit that whites came from niggerfreka afrika s so stupid that's is from rats or mice, it's silly.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunstock_war_club

i wouldn't call myself wes study to begin with
then i'd marilyn manson my way out of it

Poor Uncas. And the younger sister. Fuck Magua. And fuck Amazon for putting the movie on their site but not having subtitles for the Indians’ language(s?)

Indian proverb. Don't swat at the fly on your friends head with a tomahawk.

Native Americans created them, having been impressed by clubbed muskets used as a hand to hand weapon, but thinking they could use some improvement. Their club turns out to be a better melee weapon, because using it to hit things is the primary purpose.

I’ve also heard the idea that they may have an intimidating effect, making it look like more of the natives had firearms from a distance. I’m not 100% sure of that. It sounds a bit silly to me, because these clubs never have the long barrel, they have spikes added, and the stock is a slightly different shape. But taken only as a hand to hand weapon, gunstock warclubs are no joke.

List all the ship that transported Indians to Europe. Your list is zero, huh? That's your answer.

Low population density, better climate, Europeans had been a petri dish for diseases for centuries.
South America did quite a number on them though.

They famously drug Pocahantas to Europ (where she died of disease).

There was syphilis, that's about it. Probably not nearly as deadly due to increased population density and livestock giving people stronger immunity.

onions

....They really put a bunch of cows on a ship and they didn't die? Man. I do NOT know how animals are transported or how they are maintenanced until they reach the mainland and trades occurs. I always assumed it was a crapshoot.

like hey we had a few die. Sorry.

They where literally upset BECAUSE NONE OF THE CAST WHERE MOHICANS!

You got more than a chuckle out of me

Didnt they know, the mohicans died except for the white mohican who later went on to be the last samuri?

It turns out I was the complete and utter fool. I appreciate the lesson. Thank you for humbling me. I'll be more careful with speaking carelessly in the future over easily verifiable information simply because I am ignorant and saw your truth as a challenge to my limited intellect in this matter.

People might have legitimate gripes about this movie but it's always been a favorite of mine. Chingoshkook was a bad mf'r and magwa was a great villain

They had a cabin boy sweep all the shit out. And prayed to god that they had enough hay to last the journey.

on a months long voyage eating hard tack and salted meat and other unpleasant shit

You would be praying one of those fresh cows had a stroke and died is what you'd be doing.

The last of the Mohicans is the son that dies. Makes it pretty clear that Natty Bumpo is not that last of them.

People might have legitimate gripes about this movie

I have an obse shitlib coworker who bugged his eyes out and gasped about how LotM is a racist and insensitive film. I asked for a single other movie about indians that meets his standards and he couldn't give a single one.

came to post this because its my favorite shitpost

Hey look, it's the Goodyear blimp

Only if you want to be keel-hauled for not taking care of it.

Went into this thinking it would be indian kino and it's a chick flick about fucking the bad boy long hair wigger.

Tell that faggot to watch Apocalypto

Feather niggers had been counting coup on each other for centuries. If anything the savagery is toned down. I was talking more about the "bad accents" or "non authentic" weaponry or tactics that I've seen people bitch about. Regardless, it's one of my favorites

same. it's pretty stupid but i laugh whenever i see it posted.

Whiskey.

Those are the solutrean migrations, the first one who got all those foods to europe

His final strike is ridiculously telegraphed. Magua could have dodged it. Problem is both his arms were out of action. Perhaps a pushing, “this is sparta” style kick?

I think Magua took it because he knew he’d lose the fight and would lose face and diminish his legend if all he did was prolong his inevitable death by showing fear.

On April 27, 1584, the Philip Amadas and Arthur Barlowe expedition set sail from England on an exploratory mission to determine what resources were available in North America. They returned with two of the local inhabitants, Manteo and Wanchese, in August 1584, and reported of their findings.

the last of the Mohicans is Chingachgook, Uncas's father
this is so supremely obvious from his ending monologue that you must either be a bot or a giga retard

This guy is absolutely a black belt level buffalo soldier. Don’t ever do anything more than smokum peace pipe with this apache.