/cbb/ Celebrity Big Brother UK - LAUNCH NIGHT

Its that time of year! When a bunch of no names and Z-listers and a single poor confused duped A-lister get stuffed into one giant house for hour entertainment.

Launch night in an hour! Try not to spoil the entrants.
Reminder that celebrity is on ITV1 and not ITV2

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PREVIOUSLY

Anon Babble fell for a turbo sperg autist girl

It was giving Martha

Anon always forgot it was on at nine

/ourguy/ Ryan was chucked out first

Stan twitter was too much and Ali won the whole thing

Nobody really liked anyone it was an unlikeable lot

General feedback across the board was that it was a better season for drama and more spicy than the last but there was nobody to root for

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Previous Housemates update:

Rosie and Nathan broke up pretty quick to nobody's surprised

Sarah got married

Lily got an unironic autism diagnosis

Ali and Nathan have fallen out because she didn't invite him to a party

Emma and Marcello made out at the afterparty and it was filmed

Segun went off the grid after Hanah has demanded a public apology from him for saying she was flirting and playing with him

Hanah has been cancelled after calling Ali a dyke on TikTok live and chimping out over it on Twitter

There was plans for a Big Brother All Stars Season this year due to the 25th anniversary of Big Brother

Jedward, Gemma Collins and Tiffany "New York" have all said they were contacted for it

ITV have cancelled plans for that season

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I should have been me...

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The house has moved locations! It keeps the same theme as the civilian series as is tradition. However the layout is all different. The garden is bigger, there's no more upstairs, and the inside is smaller.

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GK Barry!

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Marrying Chanelle

Elsewhere in the ITV Reality TV Universe:

Former celeb housemate Ekin-Su returned to her life of hanging around with pretty people in Love Island All Stars.

Zeze "Munter" Mills saw Ekin on Love Island and had the mother of all incel rages, all the while our King David Potts sang Ekin's praises on the podcast.

Ekin was paired with some bent guy and, after a rocky start, came in 3rd place. She also had a fight with a fellow Turkroach.

All three people in what passed for a Love Island All Stars General fell in love with a Thai George Takei lookalike who is 100% not a ladyboy

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The Chinese dream..

Thanks for whoever recommended The Traitors it was a good time, kinda mogged Big Brother

Kerry-sama desu

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Hanah has been cancelled after calling Ali a dyke on TikTok live and chimping out over it on Twitter

Lmao. I'm astonished something like that didn't happen in the house.

She did, she got a formal warning it was never aired. So remember that episode where Hanah freaked out over Sarah being "racist" and Sarah got a warning? Same thing happened with Hanah and Homophobia it was just never aired.

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It's gonna be WICKED!!

So thats TWO black kweens who they stanned who got fucked via Twitter. The thing is Hanah self exposed too, this was never aired.

>Emma and Marcello made out at the afterparty and it was filmed

source?

Typical ITV.

It was an absolute melty, cba to post it all as the show is about to start, I'd rather forget that dismal season

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Were there threads? I should have joined in. I think I saw one but no replies

Celebs who?

Yeah I made most of them. Not as busy as bb threads though.

There's like five more posts worth of the melty, but I cba to post since its about to start. Either way I find it funny because thats two series now.

Dusk.com

RIP Vinted. We'll never see the Icelandic numetal indie jazz folk band fans again.

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Makes me wonder what else wasn't aired

inb4 becki jones breaks the limo's rear suspension

iirc Dean said Marcello called him Count Campula or some shit on Halloween and that wasn't aired.

She's come as a sexy bigfoot

WOOP WOOP

Forgot they switched to itv. I had 5 app loaded instead. The itv app is awful.

How about just 1 good host

Bring back Russell Brand.

He seems very vanilla

Big Brother's Big Mouth was fantastic and he was a great host for that

He's first so he'll be the one and only in the house

kino

Yeah he is very dull. Nice but dull. He was on the radio last week and had displayed no real personality.

hired just for that joke

Is that his only song? They've played it like four times

POC

Oh, she's learnt a new word. I remember in the house she called herself coloured.

Remember when she kept saying she was a pond? kek

Basically, yeah. Wasn't even written by him, was written by Nik Kershaw.

Oh god this is /imaceleb/ tier. What was he too pussy to go into the jungle.

Thats what CBB is, people too pussy to go on I'm a Celeb.

Who is this disgusting chav?

Missed these threads lads, genuinely funny as fuck when they get going

Jojo Siwa

FML

By engaging and defending herself, she already lost

OH
MY
FUCKING
GOOOOOOOOOD

it’s not Jojo

Leave(Get Out)

I don't think CBB is the best place to reveal you were nonced, Siwa.

JOJO SIWA IN BIG BROTHER

FUCKING KINO SHE'S GONNA BE A NIGHTMARE

She has 11.1m Instagram followers

Never heard of her. Why does she have a name sounding like a Fijian rugby player? I assume she's a lesbian

Is that a motherfucking Jojo Siwa reference!

Never forget

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Who dis

It completely ruins it when they clearly have a week or two to look up who the rest of the housemates are
Always loved the 'err.. who are you by the way?' intros

People know who that is?

people don't know who Jojo Siwa is

Oh you're in for a treat

Siwa called "Karma" her "first breakout adult moment"[43] after performing for 11 years with a child-friendly image. In an interview with Billboard, she expressed a desire to "start a new genre of music ... It's called gay pop."

Show some respect for the first homo to ever make pop music.

I had heard of her before she was announced yeah. But I didn't know if she was a singer or what.

They couldn't pull off a Chantelle fake celeb thing in today's social media age. The twist would be leaked days before.

All these black girls spouting off will turn the BB viewing shitlibs against intersectionality, Inshallah

Every single uppity black woman they get always ends up like this

An evening with Elton and Brandi literally just promoting an album
What great television

older woman but not even fit

waste

Trisha Goddard in the Year of Our Lord 2025

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Makes me think that Jeremy Kyle would be a great housemate

IS DER A LITTLE PROBLAM YOU WANNA TELL TRISHA

Trisha's 14/1 to win the show, lump on now.

In a fun way or...?

She seems annoying on first impression but also I want to encourage more deep-voiced, shorts-wearing dykes not getting social contagioned into cutting their tits off. It's refreshing to see a good old fashoned gold star clam slurper and not another boring straight bird stealing lezzie valour

Muh heckin cancerino

Holy shit bitch this ain't Britain's Got Talent

Why do shows try to force two presenters?

She's unironically dying

Boomers, nigga how old are you, Millennials remember Trisha

The crowd chanting Trisha

Yeah this is about as authentic as the Late & Live audience chanting Zeze

'member when Elton played his "last ever" gig a couple of years ago? How did that go?

Remember when Jade was so racist on CBB that she got cancer and died?

Trisha chemo on the livestream

They won't have the balls to air the first zoomer saying "I literally died" in front of her

discusses nominations

has her talazoparib taken away as punishment

never watched more than 30 seconds of love island nor horse racing so no idea who this guy is

Token Love Islander is a bloke

Boo! I wanted India's poo!

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Will Best strikes me as the kind of guy who would unironically kill himself if he is fired by ITV so they have to keep him around to not get sued by his grieving family

kino

I thought Trisha died of cword

This year's All Stars made ITV Big Brother look like CBeebies

RICKAYYYY

David died once

Rice and peas rice and peas

We still need the token chud to piss everyone off?

Rickayyyy

"David's dead" and "What a sad little life Jane" aired on Channel 4 in the same week

Mad how the last two times British TV was relevant came so close together.

Crowd just shouts RICKKKKAAYYYY

She hasn't aged a day. She did look about 60 20 years ago tbf, that's the secret

It's unironically Daley Thompson, he was too chuddy for the 80s, let alone now.

What is it with ginger actresses playing proper common filthy geezer birds but being really posh IRL. It's like Jon's Snoo's slampiece in GoT

I want to know whether I have to keep doing it, because Big Brother didn't say

He said, you asked for clarification, and he asked again, you fucking ginger sped

Anon Babble meetup

5 minutes behind, the Live Island gimp has just arrived

"I'm comfortable in my own skin"

Oh aye? Is that why your face looks like a slice of wet ham? Daft cunt

At the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, Thompson, who had just won his second Olympic decathlon gold medal, wore a T-shirt that read "IS THE WORLD'S 2ND GREATEST ATHLETE GAY?". United States sprinter Carl Lewis had been dealing with rumours of homosexuality and the shirt was regarded as being cruelly directed at Lewis. "The second athlete could be anybody, Carl Lewis, anybody," Thompson stated.

lel

Don’t think I’ll watch the rest of the series.

Is der a little prablam dat you wanna tell Trisha?

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Bradley and Barney Walsh: Breaking Dad

Kino

Saw this guy on first dates

Mike Flowers looking like shit

There you go

Token Tory bender

What kind of drugs is he on?

Awful barnet

lgbtq

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Prescient considering Tyson Gay became the 2nd best a couple decades later

boooo blue tie booooooo

Battlestar Galactica

Fuck me, how old is this boomer!?

Are they actually chanting "Shame"? They don't even know why they hate him. The absolute state of the kind of faggots who go to these things

They booed LGBTQ

Now we're fucking talking!

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It's Diddy David

Token Corrie one

original social experiment

The autism

I hope there's a hall of fame for casting directors because this lemming is so believable as Gail Platt's son

You now remember Colson Smith.

The sound on this show is absolutely bollocks

SLAG!

Who's this bogged tranny?

They mumble on the telly nowadays, don't they? They mumble.

Decent bit of crumpet

THIS YEARS SLAG!!!

least attractive accent

get em out luv

Straight to the live feed for her

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At least one slag

good

Two if you include Fabricant.

Jojo looking at her up and down in lust

What the fuck, I thought it was just for show but it's actually right up her flaps like a sumo diaper

Tetley tea is fucking rank, if you're not drinking Yorkshire Tea you may as well gargle piss

like a sumo diaper

First thing that came to my mind too

What arse

Genuinely who is that last bird though?

Uber Eats darkie moving on up to car marketplace adverts now

She said TOWIE, so your usual TOWIE get for a Brit reality show. There's always one in every BB and I'm a Celeb.

Based Daley

They almost always do well too

Oh I missed that, of course. There must have been hundreds of them in that show over the years.

David Potts AND Zeze Mills on Late & Live

I didn't know you could show this on TV!

Tetley's alright mate, can make a strong brew with it. Yorkshire Gold is alright but costs a bomb, regular Yorkshire I'm convinced people only buy because it's the one everyone else says is the best.
Can we at least agree PG tips is shit?

This lineup mogs last years, they're actual celebs. Remember when we found Zeze's youtube and saw her view count?

With attention seeker yinrun.

What race is Daley Thompson even, he looks like a hench eskimo

"Sorry I've got to do this" surely shouldn't count as genuinely doing the task

Remember she had less followers than Zak from the civilian series.

In awe of the size

Got more screencaps of the lady host? She looks fit in that catsuit

I'm pretty sure he's just a halfie black like Craig Charles.

SLAMPIG WAIFU

ee I'm a proper Yorkshire lass by 'eck like
pint of gravy on t'go

I forgot this bitch existed, urgh I never liked her

No idea who this is

Who ordered the heffer

BRAPS IN YOUR FACE

The Big Brother house has fallen. Millions of Richmond sausages must be consumed.

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ITV 2 has spent about six years trying to make this person famous, presumably she has photos of the controller fucking Caroline Flack's corpse?

:O

Oh its one of those black female presenters I always get mixed up with all the other black female presenters

I've got such a dry mouth, I'm so sorry

Why would that matter, are you gonna shake their hands or suck them off

MY UNIRONIC CHILDHOOD CRUSH IS IN THE HOUSE

IN THE HOT TUB

Remember when Jim Davidson won over even the live crowds, despite them hating everything about him, purely because the bullying he suffered from the other housemates was so extreme

All the blacks talk white

Gonna be a good season lads. If anything, the roly poly is gonna be the gobbiest

Holy shit black really doesn't crack

Until they meet each other and commune in their native tongue lol, nevermind my bredren

Angellica Bell and Michael Underwood from Ministry of Mayhem are married

They need to be acknowledged as the #1 Black British power couple

She's fifty

The odd part was I always assumed he was a bender even back when he was presenting CBBC

my arsehole prolapsed from cringe watching trisha there

Yeah I find its a cute story, met on CBBC. They both went on Masterchef too

Angelica and Trisha meeting was literally the Key & Peele sketch with the black president shaking all the hands

Are they lol

Mixed raced girl has found a nonbinary weirdo who's found a gay east Asian to listen to Icelandic indie folk jazz metal with

Same

A vile tranny

See they did this last time putting one of their own in and he won easily so why do the same again?

OH NO

The positive is no Danny Beard on Late and Live

I don't know why people enable them to behave this way

drag is an excuse to push boundaries

Yeah we know, fucking NONCE

Could at least have put a hot tranny in there instead of a literal nightmare

Wild that there are people alive right now who were alive when people like this were locked up for their own safety. Not even super old people either

That just means more Zeze Mills

Like Kim Petras. Before the dick amputation though because then what's the point

Wonder what would happen if you gave all 80+ year old men a button to vote to end the world

Really all you need with this one is a pair of scissors for the hair extensions and baby wipes to wipe the slap off
They'll look awful (by their standards) after a week in there

Genuinely not trying to sound edgy but my dream job would be to join some kind of British gestapo where me and the lads go door to door dragging these demonic freaks out into the middle of the street and hanging them from the nearest street light or tree, whichever is closer.

You can literally see that she shaves her fannois!!!

AN ACTUAL CELEBRITY

Hope he calls everyone a cunt and trashes the place on night 1

He has to be in the top 10 most famous ever CBB (UK) housemates doesn't he?

AJ's getting raped when he gets out

AJ's arse!

based mickey

Yeah, their most famous by far

Sexually asserts dominance over AJ Shabooboo

I'd follow this man into war lads

Does he have any idea who any of them are?

Micky RORKE!

/brit/ won't like this one bit

Most famous in years, since Channel 4 and Verne Troyer etc.

I'd be stunned if he knows who he is.

I legit don’t think he knows where he is right now KEK

I like people like Mickey Rourke who live from moment to moment, not really thinking far ahead due to being so addled. Like Gary Busey

And are pissed up their skulls

They had Coolio

I love Mickey but I've never been so sure someone's not making it to a normal eviction lol. Put a tenner on a walk or boot, it's almost free money

Alright thats all of them. PICK YOUR WINNER

Jack P Shepard I reckon

I think he knows Patsy. For someone famous from Eastenders, she knows a weird number of actually famous people in America.

coming on to AJ

the gays are NOT going to like this

I predict: Trisha for the cancer sympathy win
Who I want to win: Mickey Rourke but he won't, no way he's even lasting a week

Rourke-Fabricant chud alliance
No survivours

Calling it, Mickey gets kicked out for feeling up that Towie lass.

black lightning

What the FUCK was that?

For me, it's Devious Maids.

Not in any order but these are probably the most famous housemates from all seasons
Mickey Rourke
Brigitte Nielsen
Chris Eubank
Dennis Rodman
Coolio
Verne Troyer
Jermaine Jackson
Stephen Baldwin
Paul Danan
Vinnie Jones
Evander Holyfield
Gary Busey
Tried to avoid UK-only celebrities because like Cheggers was a big name here but that's all

MICKEY BLOWING IT

Shes lived out there for years and she DJs for celeb parties

spends it all on a crate of bourbon

MICKAYYYYY

Mickey Rourke suplexing the drag freak through the coffee table when?

Mickey standing by a door confused as fuck while disco lights flash and campy music plays and a bunch of Britain only celebs shout garbled shit at him is just peak television, we're so back

Miles better housemates than last year

Is Mickey this series's Louis Walsh?

Just not giving a fuck, annoying the others and being based? I hope so

He just needs some fuel

Just fuck my ITV2 up

Michael Fabricant is box office

Jack Shepherd does a movie podcast. He must be looking to connect with Mickey for that.

Ok they've hooked me, this is gonna be a spicy season. Need to know how long it takes before Mickey gets the boot.

Ur gunna get lynched

He reminds me of Jackie Stallone, clueless as to what the show is and what is even going on

Is that Michael Fabricant's tranny alter ego?

I wonder how many of Mickey's films he's even seen. The Wrestler. That's probably about it

Fuck me, the Big Brother audience are the absolute waste of humanity.

I think Jack could win. Gets the lads vote and the mums vote.

Nah he's proper into it. Him, guy who plays his onscreen brother and the guy who plays Craig. Think he's even made some short films.

Alan Carr

Oh shit an actual celebrity on Late & Live.

GET THAT SCOTTISH COCKSUCKER

Ah fair play then

DAVID

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I tried turning this into a Ghibli but it was rejected for being NSFW kek

same presenters as the live show

Big mistake
Treat the aftershow as a separate entity. It's a proven formula

Remember when Alan Carr was as abrasive as gays got? Practically a pleasure to watch in comparison to today's benders

Towie Slag

Angelica "Black don't crack" Bell

Bianca

Live stream chads we'll eat well when they're in the tub

Oh forgot the Whale Waifu too for all you chasers out there

Fucking hate this zipperhead like you wouldn't believe.

She loved it

Yeah hes' fucked. Keep him in for a few days at least.

Put some trousers on you poof

No.
Oh you mean David.

Fucking with noms again

Put some money on Yinrun halfway through and lost

Put money on David in the final week, and won a tiny bit since it was the final week

Put money on Ali from the start and won a ton.

Ali was the most obvious out of all of them due to the rabid stans that started from launch night. This year I have no clue, there's a couple of likeable ones.

It's giving new thread

Thread pic for tomorrow for sure