I freelance for HBO...

Kek

And they couldn't even get a British Dumbledore!

I really wanted Brosnan, and he even wants the job!

And he wouldn't be in his 90s when production wraps, assuming Lithgow lives that long

Now that would be morbid, if Lithgow dies halfway through and Pierce picks up the Dumblerole.

There is a precedent

Kek, I'm sure. I'm elated about the show, it's gonna be so funny. Because they're gonna fuck it up. They're gonna fuck up something. And the memes will be glorious.

They're never gonna make Snape black, it's all just a publicity thing.

Ah hell, that's a shame, I like Lithgow but Brosnan would be more suitable.

I know it's mostly a CGI/Voice role, but I liked him as Doctor Fate. It's a shame Black Adam is the last we'll see of him.

gamble that 79 yr will survive long enough to film half blood prince season

Quite a bet, lets see how how it plays out

raceswapped Snape

It’s all so comically transparent

snape turns out to be a wildly unexpected sexual awakening for many girls and women, especially whites

feminist (((producers))) make the character black, will likely ramp up the underlying tension the character depicts, he will probably intimidate white male characters

It’s all about attacking men, especially white men, especially in ways that try to undermine their sexuality. That’s literally all these modern Hollywood writers think about

You guys worry about reboots? You already know it's going to flop like a fish because it's shit. What is there to worry about?

It’s all about attacking men, especially white men, especially in ways that try to undermine their sexuality.

Wonder how the Boggart scene will play out then.

he will probably intimidate white male characters

I've they're gonna make Snape black I want them to make him the biggest broadest black gym-bro they can find. Like the dudes who worked with Jussie Smollett. Makes the 'I was bullied' situation so much funnier.

Alternatively - Idris Elba.

The show will live or die on if they can get men to masturbate to Hermione on day one. That's it. That's the only metric that matters at the end of the day. If they nail THAT ONE ROLE, they are SET, and anything else is gravy.

weak little white boy is intimidated by black Chad

There is not a single version of the black Snape scenario that doesn't have hilarious porn undertones. Come HBO, do iiiit.

Let's make a show that is just a retelling of a widely popular movie series

Chuds will seethe at it because of whatever is current thing but nevermind
Who the fuck asked for this?

And they couldn't even get a British Dumbledore!

Its actually set in America now, hogwarts is near New Orleans.

The Hogwarts Express is now the Hogwarts Amtrak.

All characters are now American, even those played by British actors (Nick Frost will be playing Hagrid like a Southern Gentleman).

Dobby has been race and gender swapped, to avoid offending Russians, and she is now voiced by Awkwafina, so prepare yourself for the house elf fetishists to come.

All dragons are now, for some reason, 2 legged Wyverns instead like in all American films and TV shows.

There will be cameos from former contestants on American reality TV shows and people who are
, apparently, big on TikTok.

Dumbledore refuses to end the feast and the food just mysteriously keeps coming

What did HBO mean by this?

warner bros is run by an incompetent, i knew new harry potter would fail the second they made snape black. Im not watching this shit lol

The cope is going to be that they "didn't even dare to try and match Alan Rickman's iconic portrayal so they decided to go in a completely new direction instead" by the way. They are trying to spin it into them being "respectful" instead of cheap race-grifters.

Can someone explain why they go for a remake even though movie merchandise is still selling well and all their parks are based in the movie version?

kek

HBO wanted streaming slop to launch their euro platform.

Rowling is despised by the series once most hard-core fans

Stuff based on the movies still sell amazingly

Iconography from the movies used everywhere in parks and whatnot and got a huge recognition even among nonfans

Casting is already alienating those who could be interested in a more faithful adaption

Who the fuck even is this show for?

It's probably an elaborated money laundering scheme

They don't dare attempt another spin-off after the fantastic beast movies, but still want to squeeze the franchise for money.

>Rowling is despised by the series once most hard-core fans

Only the ones in the Angloid West. She has hardcore fans the world over. And they have money.

Every producer on this shit knows exactly what needs to happen to make it an earth-shattering success, and they just won’t do it. They’ll fill it with diversity hires, and will change the story to revolve around racial and gender politics. They’ll alienate entire swathes of the potential audience. Even right now, they’re probably focussing the writer meetings on ‘how can we subvert established hetero-normative expectations’ and ‘how can we raise up the marginalised’. The actual story will be an afterthought.

They already know they’re going to make shit that does not find the audience it needs to, and they’re going to throw billions of dollars at this

There are five straight gangsta rappers

even though movie merchandise is still selling well

Probably because of this. They want to make more stuff while it's still popular so the easiest choice is to do the main storyline one more time.

Straightest black men.

I have a black friend and she is obsessed with harry potter. She can cite it like the bible. When I asked about her opinion of race swapping snape she said to me: "I dont want no nigger portraying snape."