Are you ready?
A24 making a live action Elden Ring adaptation directed by Alex Garland
Just don’t be woke
Ready for constant video game threads on Anon Babble? Oh yes.
bunch of pretty scenery with zero story
should have gotten Eggers
should have gotten Paul W. S. Anderson
he'd make it a fun action adventure and cast his wife as lead
Just don’t be woke
Zero chance.
A24
that didn't take long
Will the protagonist die repeatedly?
Yeah im ready for more terrible a24 slop
How is this gonna work? Elden Ring is just a series of elaborate settings and backgrounds and a24 is allergic to actually building sets. Are they going to turn Elden Ring into a suburban haunted house movie?
its 2 hours of some guy playing Elden Ring in his living room
Garland has a Cailee fetish. Who will she play?
Melina
Have you seen all the films Garland has done recently?
It's going to be woke as fuck
Why is her shirt cut out for the armpits?
Should have been Dark Souls. But it has potential, so who knows...maybe it'll be good.
Either way they got beaten to it with The Stolen Child.
youtube.com
Short film it's based on
youtube.com
I doubt... you could even imagine it.
See a bunch of Skeletons guarding a corpse, kill them and find a Poisonbloom in that corpse.
That which commanded the stars.
See a bunch of Poison Mushrooms guarding a corpse, kill them and find an Arteria Leaf in that corpse.
Giving life... its fullest brilliance.
See a bunch of Wolves guarding two corpses, kill them and find a Glowstone and a Golden Rune (1) in those corpses.
THE ELDEN RING!!!
See a bunch of Bats guarding a corpse, kill them and find a Golden Rune (1) in that corpse. Exact same thing happens less than 5 minutes later.
OOOOOHHHHH, ELDEN RING!!!
See a bunch of Highwaymen guarding a chest, kill them and find 5 Mushrooms in that chest.
Shattered...
See a bunch of Demi-Humans guarding two corpses, kill them and find 3 Ruin Fragments and a Large Club in those corpses.
By someone...
See a Giant Miranda Flower and a bunch of small Miranda Flowers guarding two corpses, kill them and find an Immunizing Cured Meat and a Golden Rune (2) in those corpses.
Or something...
See a bunch of Demi-Humans guarding a corpse, kill them and find a Hefty Beast Bone in that corpse.
Don't tell me... you don't see it...
See a bunch of Demi-Humans guarding a corpse, kill them and find Crab Eggs in that corpse.
LOOK UP AT THE SKY!
See a Big Land Octopus and a bunch of small Land Octopuses guarding a corpse, kill them and find a Golden Rune (1) in that corpse.
It burns...
This shit is so fucking gay. I hate the normalfagification of the Souls series. I miss the DeS-DaS1 PC port era especially.
Elden ring is woke already retard
Literally how?
It's only woke on the surface
As soon as you take a closer look, you realize it's actually right wing af
Marika betrays the men in her life, and only achieved power by being a total slut
Marika shattered the Elden Ring and ruined the entire world because she had a woman moment
Ranni orchestrated the Night of Black Knives (the event which caused Marika's aforementioned bitch-fit) and murdered an innocent man all because she wanted to be a rebellious teen and refused to let The Two Fingers plan out her life
Malenia is dumb cunt who nuked an entire region with turbo aids because she was too proud to be defeated by Radahn in fair combat
Rennala is so devastated by the loss of the chad who banged her, that she is completely unresponsive even while her own children are dying in the war
The person who figures out how to solve all the issues of the setting is Goldmask; an ascetic monk who realized that women are the problem and should not be allowed near positions of power. His ending is objectively the best outcome for The Lands Between.
Dark souls doesn’t have wide appeal because it requires actual effort to play
A24
That unironically would do the least damage to the IP.
Ranni as the protagonist before the Shattering
I'm so fucking tired of you crybaby chuds.
strongest mage is a woman
ruler god is a woman
female assassins murdered the male chud god in the lore
The movie already got its work cut out for them
Pure, and radiant, he wields love to shrive clean the hearts of men.
There is nothing more terrifying.
Miquella!!
All the lowercase g gods in the setting are female, but that's because of esoteric gnosticism and alchemy reasons, not contemporary American politics.
Kino incoming
The most terrifying man in the lands between.
Give this to the average Anon Babble anon and you'd get 2 1/2 hours of atmospheric dark fantasy with an intricate if nonsensical storyline, mostly unknown actors that fit their roles.
Instead you're getting that jack black pasta stretched out over 85 minutes likely starring zendaya and michelle yeoh.
How does this make you feel?
sonic, mario and minecraft showed they make money and basically opened the floodgates to replace super hero movies that are on the downtrend with video game movies... honestly its probably a improvement over super hero movies because vidja has more varity
Elden Ring, OOOUUUHHH Elden Ring
i am still waiting for a movie that has the artstyle and dreamlike feeling of legend in a more adult/serious dark fantasy narrative.
Hoping and praying they will cover The Shattering and/or the Night of Black Knives
Garland made Annihilation, it's gonna look great
Love me.
The only way an Elden Ring movie could work is if it’s an Adam Sandler comedy
miquella...
TORRENT JOCKEY
That trailer started out cringe but became absolute kino by the end. Not bad.
man
he
He's 17 inches soft, anon