Lilo and Stitch

that sounds awful what the fuck

David and Nani aren't in an implied romantic relationship because "feminism"

Nani loses custody of Lilo, but the live action remake portrays this as a "good thing" because Nani can now pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist whilst Lilo accepts this and goes to live with David

Why the fuck then couldn't they just have David get with Nani officially and just show him staying at home effectively as a stay-at-home dad whilst Nani does her college work, keeping them all together and still having Nani as being able to pursue her dreams?

this movie sounds like literal ass cancer

family bad
careerism and self-optimization good

no it's not fag

decanonizes

Look man I get the movie is dogshit and all but the obsession with “cannon” around children’s cartoons has to stop.

Why not?

The space empire are colonists and had tried to invade earth in the past but were protected by Bubbles’ claim that the planet was home to the very endangered Mosquito.
Oh also the fat guy who spills his ice cream is white, and Lilo takes pictures of him and other tourists, as if they were zoo animals.
Just two soft references to differentiate between locals and tourists/invaders, to suit the locale, possible mentality of a native Hawaiian, and to bolster the theme of found families

careerism and self-optimization good

Crazy Cat Lady Syndrome

Does stitch still say the space N-Word in that little bubble prison

The devil is real and this is proof

yeah

Or maybe extended metaphors*, rather than references

What an absolute shitshow. How do you fuck up a remake this badly? You were HANDED an already decent script, and you remove everything decent about it.

Disney cowtows to Conservative backswing just in time to piss audiences off by excluding one of their most accepted past moments of trans inclusion

Funny really

Pleakley isn't even a tranny, he just likes to crossdress

Where's the contradiction?

Why make Jumba a villain? The story doesn't even really have or need one, Gantu and old lady alien and the social worker aren't terrible in the end unless I'm forgetting something, they're just on the opposite end of the story

Gantu’s ruthless, he’s a villain and he gets blasted off or some shit for it iirc.

a tranny is a man/woman who genuinely thinks they're the opposite gender, pleakley never thinks he's actually a woman he just likes female clothing because he's an alien and its a funny gag

I don’t know man, I’m pretty sure Pleakley dresses as a woman and then takes on an extremely feminine affect and starts sitting across from Jumba at dinners basically being his chatty wife. Joke-like? Sure. A formal declaration of any specific sexuality? No. But easily trans behavior, especially considering the theme of living your authentic life vs being trapped and compelled by work and duty

original: not every family looks the same, but as long as you care for each other, the bonds are unbreakable

remake: ditch your kid sister with your ex and be a liberated woman

The 19th Amendment and its consequences have been a disaster for the human race.

Why did they turn them into humans?
The fact that they pass with a few clothes and wigs makes it so much funnier in the cartoon.

lmao this movie is ass. I feel sad for gen alpha growing up with all these slops.

In the cartoon, adult humans cant see the aliens.
Stitch is a normal dog and Jumba and Pleakly are a human couple.
the Live Action destroy this if only Stitch stay in his CGI Alien form

actually she leaves her with her neighbor (david's gradma) who has known her family for years, making the whole movie pointless

Nani isn't wearing skimpy clothing in this one

Is nothing sacred?

Neither do you, mate. Unless you're psychotic.

According to the leaks Nani has a portal gun so she can visit Lilo anytime

Sir, this is Anon Babble, we don't watch movies

Hawaii is nothing without tourism lol

They literally just put a dog collar on stitch in the cartoon and that's enough.

how could you have millions of changs and whites walking around your island without tourism?

Holy amerimutt

ending also decanonizes the sequels

the movie is shit, indeed, but i cant get why you faggots care too much about the "canon", who gives a fuck? its a stupid Disney movie

From what I heard Leroy from the sequels makes a cameo in this movie, so I don't know if this is true

be near man for a month (not dating)

now he has to raise your family when you decide you’re not gonna

Astonishingly grim. Especially for a theme of found family. The real antagonist is Lilo for needing to be raised and wanting to live with her sister after their parents died. It’s a good thing we went through this whole journey and learned Ohana means ‘I might be gone for years at a time, I can’t let this family hold me back’

I was gonna say the cost of CGI but since it's all outsourced and looks like shit anyways I think the actual answer is that it sped up production to not have to do CGI post filming and be able to just do their scenes in a quick shoot

Ohana doesn't mean family after all

Why is modern media so cynical?

Wait, Nani leaves?? Been years since I've seen the original, but did it end on a sad note like that?

Ohana means… nothing to me!

im a marine biologist now :)

Why is america so shit at making films?

genuinely

So they’re insane or lying. Pedophiles either way.

Original ends with Lilo, Nani and Stitch living together
New one ends with Nani ditching Lilo

Not at all
In so many words, Jumba, Pleakley, David, Nani, Lilo, and Stitch all become a "family" and the credits show their new life together via Polaroids

It’s probably not framed as a sad note

ending completely ruins the theme of "Ohana" from the original (i.e. Nani loses custody of Lilo, but the live action remake portrays this as a "good thing" because Nani can now pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist whilst Lilo accepts this and goes to live with David)

This is just unforgivable. And to think I was actually optimistic about this one.

the intro with the aliens and Stitch's escape is totally rushed

Pleakley is glad to join Jumba which makes their dynamic weird

Lilo is late to her dance in the beginning because she slacks off

she's a normal girl instead oof a weirdo which makes the other kids being mean to her feel off

Lilo doesn't officially adopt Stitch with Nani's blessing

Jumba and Pleakley turn into humans

no ugly duckling story

Ohana is a fucking joke

no Gantu

Cobra Bobo doesn't feel menacing at all

and I'm just half-way through the movie

"We're a sequel company now."

If you weren't shorting these idiots after Force Awakens or any number of catastrophic flops, you were never going to make it.

It's not "Snow White" remake levels of absolute dogshit

No it is. And Baby Boomers are the only thing floating this dogshit company lead by an apex Boomer locust Bob Iger. With the LucasFilm Volume stage, these are manmade AI horrors beyond comprehension they want to churn out on the cheap. Pixar talking animal bullshit was the beginning of the end.

They've been subtly pushing broken families for most of their existence now on top of 'accidental' subliminal sexually inappropriate content and they can do it openly pointing to divorce rates and XYZ funny money incentives. It's not about art, drama or what works in screen writing and acting it-- it's about 'representation' and mirroring to the public their bullshit (or what bad actors and morons believe they ought to be mimicking).

All of this just makes me want to rewatch the original again

It had some good cute and funny moments

The original was also American, retard. The problem is that these live action demakes are injecting total bullshit every time.

3DPD

turn yourself in

So if Pleakley is supposed to be gay now, why did he flash his human disguise dick at the Grand Councilwoman and ask permission to hug her at the end?

I think you got it backwards, the big change about Pleakley is that he's NO LONGER a gay crossdresser

Stop living in the past unc

Uoooohhhh

I will wait for the blu-ray rip...

I'm sorry, am I reading this right? Lilo ends up living with David?

HOW THE FUCK IS A SURFER BRO A BETTER GUARDIAN THAN NANI?

ending completely ruins the theme of "Ohana" from the original (i.e. Nani loses custody of Lilo, but the live action remake portrays this as a "good thing" because Nani can now pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist whilst Lilo accepts this and goes to live with David)

this must be a new low...

Why did they take away his guns?

removes plasma guns

adds portal guns

includes a bunch of fart jokes and more snot jokes that weren't in the original

Looking at his older writings, he might genuinely have a snot fetish.

Guns bad... except when you need to invade Iraq

soulless

I highly recommend it, it's so much better. The pacing is significantly better. The humor makes a lot more sense and the jokes have more time to be set up. It doesn't feel like someone's half-baked wokeified fanfiction that still failed to be woke enough. The remake turning Jumba into Gantu makes no sense, and the choice to cast Zach Galifianakis seems like Hollywood actorbaiting without actually considering the role. The director himself is a literal newbie with only a couple of literal who 7/10 stinkers under his belt.

It feels like the writer strike really raped this production.

I don’t care about the movie.

Did Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride make it ok? Did they remake it and butcher it?

David is also Ohana

No Reuben no watch!

i always took it to be a "you can take my blue dick and stuff it in your nutrient waste orifice" type statement based on the reaction in the original

Why does Disney hate romance in their films now?

Such a great scene, real and heartwarming.
I hope they do this one justice.

That's a good one too but I bet he could fit a slur in there aswell

Why isn't Stitch wearing his orange prison suit?
Why was he wearing a shock collar?

Why does Disney hate romance in their films now?

Their old guard of writers got replaced by feminazis over the past decade.

David and Nani kiss at the end, but her leaving Lilo is still horrible, horrific message for kids

You know how at Disney Parks there's a Dole Whip?
Well lets just say they had a sort of "Dole Whip" themselves.

Nani does fucking what????

Women should not be bogged down by a child and should pursue their careers to its fullest, abandoning family or children if need be.

No, there's no Jewish subversion here.

Is the girl playing Lilo any good? Children that young rarely are.

>ABANDON YOUR FAMILY, GO TO COLLEGE AND BE A WHORE

Fuck every millennial working at Disney.

literal goyslop

DIE COLONIZER

But do we have Mertle?

Why did you watch a children's movie and why do you care

J-just ignore it and let people enjoy things, goyim!

Fuck you and fuck your complacency you apathetic little bitch.

Ruining the family theme is more offensive to me than anything Snow White did

Disney destroyed Ohana

Holy shit
Disney Remakes subversion are actual cancer
I hope they canceled Tangled live action forever

The remake should have had a scene with her going full Tarrant on a beach full of howlies

Ohana means _____

ugh how does this affect you personally???? let people enjoy things, chud!

This is why we can't have nice things anymore

Start doing this

Tangled live action

Rapunzel is black, bald, and puts the rap in Rapunzel

There are people on this board who watched a camrip of a current year Disney remake

It’s shit. Way overproduced and missed the point of the throwback 50’s feel of the original
youtu.be/3OM7oi79hd4?si=ZP8CPIRa9cV2EXcj

I forgot how much skin Nani was showing even when dressed regularly.

Snot jokes were in the original, he hocks loogies to break out of space prison

gf drags me to watch this along with her dumb friends

they all say how much they loved the original

after the movie

they all loved it and thought it was amazing

point out the flaws and how it’s worse than the og

everyone looks at me like I am retarded

Also the cinema was completely full but there were literally zero children. Not even one. Just old as fucking millenials

Nani can now pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist whilst Lilo accepts this and goes to live with David

Huh? What? Why is the non boyfriend stuck raising the kid now?

Are the homeless and junkies properly represented?

His mom is their neighbor and the old bag takes care of her more than Nani

Nani can now pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist whilst Lilo accepts this and goes to live with David

I hope they canceled Tangled live action forever

woah chief woah
say what you want about disneyslop but dont let them cancel the most promising footkino in years

Why do you wanna see Zendaya’s fungal hobbit feet?

this movie does not deserve any better

Jumb is the villian because he used to have a russian accent which he doesnt anymore but hes still the villian

No Gantu? Me no wantu

this shit ranks squarely with the definition of "content"
it ain't art, no one is making this for the love of it, it's just calculated investment in existing IP for predictable income

might as well have generative ai producing this slop and adversarial ai consuming it at this point

Its a movie for children

ohana ultimately means fuck all

What an absolute crock. It's like they set out to intentionally spit on the original out of cynical spite.

7/10

stinkers

??

he works for IGN

Darkstalkers is kino

Nani doesn't even take Lilo to the animal shelter in the remake.

original is about the importance of family and that even an unconventional family can still be a FAMILY

remake is about dumping your problems off on to other people so you can be a strong independent individual

Childless millennials shouldn’t be allowed to work in family entertainment

This was back when Disney was comfortable with showing female midriff (post-TLM) regardless of catering to families. They knew how to rake in simps at the time & activate early heterosexual awakenings. Now, it's just feminist slop for the foreseeable future.

I want to fuck Stitch.

Just got out, no Gantu is retarded and Jumba sounds like a fag
Pleakly also is not as faggy, which is shit
4/10

Just watched the original, the Galactic Federation puts Lilo, Nani, and Stitch under their protection, and Bubbles is a former CIA agent that worked with Roswell. A happy ending all around. Having Nani leave, but still show up via portal guns is weird, why, why, WHY does Disney feel the need to change shit?

To save money due to CGI? Then don't do the remake at all, fucking idiots.

Biggest opening weekend of 2025. So, doing just fine.

They get to hang out and live their lives all together as a found family anyways

Fair enough, sounds like an okay ending to me. But this board will be saying Nani abandoned her child until the end of time

nani gives up custody of lilo so she can go to college

Can't help but notice the trend of hollywood working strong to make sure people value their families less and less.

i only watch camrips to compensate for digital films having no soul

This but with Nani

If its not shit like this its some A24 garbage telling you "your family is actually weird bro ever noticed how strange they act???".
Genuine mind control shit lmao. This planet's cooked.

Nani abandoned her child

lol

93% audience score

CHUDS BTFO!
1 BILLIE EASY!
SEETHE!

But Lilo and Stitch IS a chud movie. Normies are "voting with their wallet" by watching this instead of Snow White, as if they represent two political parties

She gives custody to her grandmother-in-law though. After all Nani is Lilo's sister, not her mother, hence why in the original Lilo says "I like you better as a sister than a mom"

Stitch has always been Minions level. Retards will always gobble it up.

Yeah, to hell with perserverance through tough circumstances, Nani just now conveniently has a new relative she can throw Lilo off to so she can pursue her career in wasting money on a shitty college degree that means nothing nowadays.

trusting the post-2019 "verified" ratings

kek

meanwhile on metacritic...

metacritic.com/movie/lilo-stitch-2025/

middle-aged fat women love stitch. i've seen so many of them with stitch shirts or bags or whatever the fuck else

Lilo's sister having to also be her mom is both melancholic and beautifully tragic and that heavy feeling is gone now.

Disney Adults are braindead meatsacks?
Shocker.

no ugly duckling story

are you serious?

Ugly and can’t act

More “Abandon your family and tend your personal needs” agitprop from Disney,

True, at this point they might as well have written it so that the parents are still alive

This

Moana 2 also hit $1 billion but nobody talks about that movie anymore.

The ugly duckling story is banned from american fiction entirely due to the message "ugly black kid magically becomes a beautiful white man" being too offensive

and retards are eating it up

this looks pretty cool

Becoming white is unironically every brown person's dream.

American government trying to break up a Native Hawaiian family punctuated by Nani singing the song that was written by the old queen as a lament for the loss of Hawaii's independence.

Nobody believes headlines anymore

All this plus the rerecordings of the songs are overproduced dogshit

leading opponent of the annexation of Hawaii who exposed (pre-)CIA Niggers' role in overthrowing the monarchy was a former Confederate colonel

KINO

A short, frumpy, masculine and hairy lesbian friend of mine is obsessed with Stitch

The one thing I haven't seen anyone mention is the Elvis stuff
Elvis is still in, right?

You have literally never heard of this Reddit shit until me showing it to you right now, it is forgettable at best and a waste of time at worst, and that makes being a rating "7/10" bad, actually. Slop within a slop ocean.

thank you disney for showing me that hawaiian folks dont care about family

girl is better off dumping her sister so she can go to cali because everyone wants to go to cali like omg

Ohana means family

That means you get left behind to go into the foster care system while I "discover myself" (get dicked down) at marine biologist school

He's still in

Barely.
The songs are in but the entire segment where Lilo gets Stitch to act like a "model citizen" like Elvis and puts Stitch in an Elvis cosplay is totally gone in favor of a more multiculturally acceptable alternate, since non-Americans have no idea who Elvis is.

If a girl loved Stich as a kid she grew up to be a "Pitmommy"

FACT

I haven't seen anyone else mention the blatant Capri Sun sponsorship that makes this entire piece of shit actual corporate garbage. They name dropped Capri Sun multiple times and it never was mentioned once in the original.

gotta leave for the mainland because there arent any marine biology schools in hawaii :(

Jumba is the villain

Jumba and Pleakley's character dynamic is erased

Jumba no longer has a Russian accent + his voice is too high to take seriously

Cobra Bubbles is no longer a social worker

social worker is now a completely separate character

Captain Gantu was removed to "reduce CGI characters onscreen"

dialogue is worse + cringier to appeal to the "modern audience"

ending completely ruins the theme of "Ohana" from the original (i.e. Nani loses custody of Lilo, but the live action remake portrays this as a "good thing" because Nani can now pursue her dream of becoming a marine biologist whilst Lilo accepts this and goes to live with David)

ending also decanonizes the sequels + TV series that followed

What ins the holy mother of fucking fuck is this? This is magnitudes worse than the Snow White remake, why? Because Snow White is just alright, more a landmark for Disney as a studio than anything else, while Lilo & Stitch was fucking kino, easily one of Disney's best and most down to earth movies they ever made and the show was great too, and then they go and nuke everything that made it good to hell?
what. the. fuck.

since non-Americans have no idea who Elvis is

yes elvis presley was not known outside the usa...

no marine biology schools

no conservation sciences

no hula schools

no surf lessons

Why is Hawaii so lame?

It genuinely made me sick to watch.

You don't see chinks making their movies globohomo friendly for people who have no fucking clue about chink mythology

*To clarify when I say snow white I mean the old one, obviously the new one is hot dogshit, but it isn't outright ruining what snow white even was at it's core like this lilo and stitch demake is.

The South Park episode about Hawaii is pretty spot on.

director is an A24 shill

also created this unfunny jewtube thing over a decade ago

Now it makes sense why the remake sucked balls.

ok so the original still exists so why do you care if they made a gaxdyskarbage one here? you can go jerk to midriff in the cartoon.

Marcel was ok

WHY does Disney feel the need to change shit

Angry barren dykes

female empowerment is a big sister stepping up and doing everything she can to raise her kid sister its not abandoning her so shes can go off and get fucked

i hate this current zeitgeist

I want Disney to crash and burn so fucking badly right now.
They deserve to get owned by the Chinese at this rate. Fuck them.

STOP THINKING AND CONSUME YOUR FUCKING SLOP

BUY YOUR KIDS THE STITCH TOY YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

who have no fucking clue about chink mythology

Difference is that nobody gives a fuck about their boring ass take on their mythos for the 10,000,000th time in their history of cinema.

Tfw my gf called me a weirdo for telling her that i used to wank it to Nanny all the time back in the day and was dissapointed the actress doesn't look like the cartoon at all

Are girls retarded bros?

You literally just watched this video and parroted it word for word,
youtu.be/fMEgdjMgSPE?si=8uVa_HC1dN3uZlm0
The camrip has all the details but cuts out the shitty post-credits where they "fix" the problem of Nani not being able to see her family with the portal gun.

Which... makes no fucking sense because if she had a portal gun then she could make a business use it instead of doing marine biology.

The creator of Marcel the Shell With Shoes On ruined Lilo and Stitch?

Which... makes no fucking sense because if she had a portal gun then she could make a business use it instead of doing marine biology.

girls dont work no more they are bosses. gotta get that degree

they like to claim that lilo taking pictures of tourists is "colonialism commentary", but the actual colonialism commentary was cut out of the movie
youtube.com/watch?v=taPoeIQaOiQ
which im glad it was, what an obnoxious tonal shift in the movie, tho it is pretty funny what lilo does in it

if she had a portal gun then she could make a business use it instead of doing marine biology.

Wouldn't the CIA just confiscate her alien tech?

The sequels and shows are actually pretty good, a rare thing for disney IPs to accomplish

You literally just watched this video and parroted it word for word,

I did? Lmao should I feel good or bad about that? I had no idea, but I don't think anything I said is at all a hard conclusion for anyone to come to when reading the synopsis.

The sequels

I just rememebered watching a video about those, Stitch time travels to feudal japan or some shit and there's an anime version with grown up Lilo and her clone daughter, bit weird desu.

didn't watch cause i'm not a pedo

what an obnoxious tonal shift in the movie

it being a cartoon aside it highlights how stupid the whole bullshit is and doesnt age well turning non whites into whiny bitches over basically nothing

omg they asked the way to the beach my god THE HORROR is this really worth killing the vibe of our movie? no

if you cant look at a child without thinking about sex then you are a pedo

ok I 1000% thought this fucking guy was joking when he mentioned the portal gun. Are you serious? that's how they skate around the ohana issue? a fucking portal gun? what?
Ok the anime one sucked dick I completely forgot about that existing.

if you don't live in a tourism place you don't get it.
rich chinks are the worst, fat white europeans are solid seconds. people like to shit on americans internationally but they're just a little loud and dumb about other cultures; overall they're super friendly and eager to spend money.

According to the leaks Nani has a portal gun so she can visit Lilo anytime

this makes even less sense if you can portal between school and your home why give her up?

and eager to spend money

actually americans are the worst especially when it comes to tipping because OMG YOU DONT HAVE TO TIP HERE SAVE YOUR MONEY

tipping

you don't make money on tips in tourism, you make it by overcharging for 'souvenirs' and other retarded services that no local would ever pay for.

This IP has suffered a hell unthinkable and this is just an even more woeful low for it to hit.

original movie happens, huge success and well beloved

spin-off sequel follows introducing the idea of the previous 625 experiments since Stitch is #626

gets a TV series that doesn't do too well, doesn't even cover 100 of other experiments before ending

gets a prequel movie where Daveigh Chase doesn't voice Lilo due to being busy at the time, so they awkwardly replace her with Dakota Fanning

gets a final movie that ends the series altogether

Japan decides to make a spin-off of the spin-off tv series, including fanon shit and things that directly contradicts canon

JP directors say the anime is noncanon and not to take it seriously

US disney decided to dub and canonize the anime anyways

China makes its own self-congratulatory fanfic series where instead of meeting Lilo Stitch meets a chinese girl instead and Jumba makes new experiments based on Chinese lore, because China

we now have this live action piece of shit that deviates from the original but doesn't make anything better

People were hoping this would revive and refresh the IP but unfortunately it's going to just kill it dead again. Zootopia 2 looks more hopeful than this.

i don't get it

colonialism

wait wut?

see

this just shows that modern audiences are mentally ill. who the fuck wants a hamfisted message about tourism or colonialism these fictional worlds exist to show us how life could be if we did things better and not insert our misery into it

Do we at least get a live action version of her?

JUST CONSUME BRAINLESS SLOP AND DON’T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING

You are an NPC.