Hanging out with security guard pal

hanging out with security guard pal

he drops his phone and is in an awkward position to grab it off the floor

being a good friend you help him get his phone

your boss's daughters boyfriend sees you as you rise up

starts telling everybody you are gay

that's not what happened, he was schlobbing his knob.

it was an elaborate joke

Wrong. It was the weight loss medication.

Would it have been different if the security guard was sucking him off?

he was just shopping for antiques on the floormats

Its not even that gay to suck off your bro lots of guy do it.

lots of gay guys yea

Yes.
Getting your dick sucked by a dude, while gay, is 1000× less gay than sucking dick.

gays are promiscuous

so tired of this trope. there is no basis for it.

what if it's a big veiny throbbing girldick?

there is no basis for it.

AIDS, monkey pox.

justify it any way you need to, homo

you would have gotten away with this shitpost but you forgot 1 small thing
the security guard was blissful before vito's head popped up

We can't have him here in our social club no more that much I do know.

the parking lot, whatever happened there.

Except homos being such sluts they put the average roastie to shame

be barhopping with friends last week

get cat called by a random gay guy smoking outside a bar

you have really pretty lips

don't I know you

turn bright red

n-no

I swear I know you from somewhere

rasie my voice and stammer out NO WE DONT KNOW EACH OTHER

run into the bar to escape

friends think I'm gay now and will not drop it

It's fucking over. I'm not gay now or in the past and I had never seen the guy before in my life.

oh no you cant be happy with your buds!

THATS HECKING GAY!!!

did you ever grease the union?

HIS FACE AIN'T A MESS OF PRECUM AND SPIT
HE WASN'T SUCKING OFF A DUDE COMEON

dude I don't what your gay slang means but I'm going to say no because I have never done anything gay with a man

Why is your mouth so pretty then boy?

Post mouth

as a straight, you have to tease but respectfully let down any gays that hit on you

You should have called him a faggot right off and walked off. I have a policy of not responding to strangers on the street because crackheads in philly will harass you and try to get in fights.

be OP

get busted blowing some guy

come up with some elaborate story

no one buys it

get queerstomped

RIP fagnuts

You should have let him fuck your mouth and then right as he was cumming you tell him you're not gay. He'd be so embarrassed.

CATCHIN, NOT PITCHIN???

OP is gayer than Elton John

lol

*record scratch* *freeze frame*
yep, that's me. you're probably wondering how i ended up here...

I still don't understand how that fat motherfucker was able to bend over like that in a jeep cherokee

That doesn't work. It only gets them horny and they'll want to beat you up when you refuse to have sex with them. I'd dare say teasing them is a one-way ticket to rapetown

Shamefully, I've let gays at bars think I'm gay so they give me free bathroom coke bumps and buy me fruity drinks.

this fucking OP guy, he's more creative than Spielberg

OP took a shot in the mouth

Stop being gay!

one time in my early 20s a gay dude approached me at the club, looked me dead in the eyes and rubbed his finger down my chest

I laughed, hugged him, and told him "that's the hottest shit anyone's ever done to me, sorry but I'm straight, you're killing it though"

poor Gino was misunderstood

Nah. One time in the late 10's some guy was hitting on me outside a gay bar I happened to be walking passed. He followed me for two blocks

it was the fucking medication. fucked with his head. he was confused, that's it. but he's better now. you can talk to his doctor if you don't believe him