STEVEN SEAGAL THREAD

cia asset

mob ties

took on the yakuza

broke James Bond's wrist

made a film about the environment before Al Gore

Defeated the Warner Brothers

called out Tom Cruise

deputy sheriff

black belt in martial arts

action icon

international businessman

wine connoisseur

independent film star

reality TV star

dramatic TV star

author

screen writer

director

producer

musician

time keeping enthusiast

energy drink line owner

Buddhist deity

Sex Symbol

Ambassador

friends with putin

Banned from a country for being a national security threat

climbed Hollywood in less than a decade

spared jcvds life

grew his hair back

honored as the first private citizen to destroy a nuclear device

American, Russian and Serbian citizenship

has taught aikido to the special military forces of each country

first American to open a dojo in Japan

has trained multiple UFC champions

6'4

7 children

Name a more accomplished actor?

FAT

STFU YOURE FAT!

top ten Seagalkino:

1) Under Siege
2) Above the Law
3) Hard to Kill
4) Marked for Death
5) Out for Justice
6) On Deadly Ground
7) The Patriot
8) Fire Down Below
9) Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
10) Exit Wounds

I wrote a script with him in mind I was calling "Hot for Justice". It was a sorta buddy cop movie with a twist. Seagal and his wife are cop partners, and she gets gunned down durring a big bust. Months later she is reincarnated as his new K-9 partner, a male German Sheppard named Justice. The script has action and adventure and homosexual beastiallity. He would be perfect for the part. There is no running and a lot of it can be done from a chair.

I dare a little piece of shit like you to say that to his face

He is awesome and everyone was jealous of him

How can one man be so based?

This. Every "I hate Seagal" YouTuber that claims any of his films up to exit wounds aren't total action kino is a lying faggot

The Glimmer Man sucks though

if hes so great why he is still a fatass

I love this nigga like you wouldn’t believe.

I counted 10 cuts

Is that where Seagal decided to be a Buddhist and didn't want to kill people in his movies so he'd just ad lib lines about people not being dead when he'd clearly murdered the shit out of them?

seagull is life

seagull is love

I don't know about all that but it was just a piss poor attempt at a buddy cop movie. Seagal and Keenen Wayans are terrible together, the action sucks, the story sucks, even Brian Cox couldn't save that turd

i look and sound like this

Was looking back at some Razzie awards and was left a bit baffled that in 1998, a year which saw such noted turds as Batman & Robin, Speed 2, The Saint, Anaconda, Shaq's fucking Steel and Rodman/Van damme's Double Team, they tried to do Fire Down Below dirty and gave it four nominations (including for worst picture). Granted seagal's acting is a worthy nod as its as awful as ever and the two other nominations are for his guitar work in it, but still it shits on some of those others.

Batman & Robin is awesome and pure Arniekino, The Saint is a solid action thriller. I would put Fire Down Below somewhere inbetween the two

Oh Steven Segal, if only I were as Japanese as you think you are.

you forgot hack retard on the list

Forgot to mention but The Postman triumphed that year winning all 5 it was nominated for including worst picture/actor/director/screenplay

It earned it, although Costner made even worse movies than that one, his biggest turd has to be Wyatt Earp aka the worst western of all time

The Patriot

it's hilarious that seagal basically made a covid movie in the 1990s, with redneck ring-wingers as villains
surprised nobody calls this movie predictive programming lol

two other nominations are for his guitar work

I thought he shredded it

youtube.com/watch?v=3v4-zYghodc

the saint

come on thats like a 6/10

pew pew pew pew

Plus he's taliban