The charges, officer?

DUI

The accurate hair in this pic lol.
Seriously though one of the biggest hallmarks of an abused or neglected child is their hair. These are their two little girls and it looks like some homeless guy hopped up on fent cut their hair. Their hair should be beautiful little girls want to be beautiful. These were abused ipad kids that would have grown up to be crackheads because of the sickos raising them.

This is the true power of anal sex

"rogue tendie" just like a rogue planet or asteroid

kek md8r

Creamping a pussy feels better than an ass and everyone who's had both knows it.

Why does Anon Babble love this guy so much? He's just some psycho that killed kis own children for a hoe from what I can tell.

Because everything surrounding the crime is hilarious. If this was a movie it would be heavily criticized for being over the top and tonally inconsistent with unnecessary comedic elements.

The memes at chris' expense are pretty funny and lighten the reality of his horrific crime

because it's so fucking bizarre.
just the thought of slaughtering your entire family so you can fuck some roastie in peace is so unthinkably stupid, you'd expect it to be a true crime plot made up by a mentally challenged 12 year old edgelord or something

It's one of the very few cases that absolutely everything about it feels like a screwball comedy.

Fags and women love true crime.
Connect the rest of the dots yourself.

the harrowing nature of the crime juxtaposed with how trivial and goofy the reasons and people surrounding it is a reflection of what we've all collectively learned life itself to be

Watch one of the docs then, it’s the funniest murder of all time.

It was all Shannon, he was too stupid to even abuse them. Shannon was Munchausening them all day every day shoving shit up their asses and doctor shopping to make them sick, Shannon deserved to die 100%, there's a lot of documentation of her Facebook and it's just full of them in oxygen masks and shit on a different medical device every other day

he was assdrunk. he wasn't thinking clearly

It was a mercy killing.
They all sucked and would've lived pathetic lives.

anyone care to provide a proper QRD on the guy?
i mean i know he murdered his wife and kids because he felt stuck in life and wanted to fuck a co-worker hoe instead, but what are the more hidden and memeable trivialities about him that a documentary for example wouldn't tell?

He was planning on throwing the corpses of his wife/kids into a volcano.

Would you trade your average wife and family for a young hot girl who offers anal?

it just keeps on giving.
old south park would have a field day with it
youtube.com/watch?v=cQHb6ZuJiiY

arf?

nah, we good.

Chris watts turned 40 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

i've gone into depth about this dude's fucked up life so many times i'd only be schizo rambling at you to try and explain it all at this point

the key points of the matter are:

he was and is clearly a total sociopath - zero real feelings or emotions and he only seeks to serve himself

low IQ - this in combination with the sociopathy is why he was fat as a teenager, got fitter, got a crazy bitch wife, got driven crazy, grew tired of it all,

and ultimately those two traits are why he killed her and his kids all with the most (morbidly) hilarious bumblefuck idiot trail of evidence behind him the whole way

he lived in the real world american suburban equivalent of the IASIP writer-made cat in the hat movie with mike myers (a particularly mean spirited and surreal movie) where all his movements were tracked and cross-referenced to virtually hourly patterns - all corroborated with camera evidence from his neighbors

their children were doomed regardless of being murdered and shannon was a total nutcase on every level - just like him

he was deeply in debt, trapped in a marriage he clearly hated, with kids he biologically, psychologically, chemically didn't give a single shit about

he is currently (i'm dead serious) assfucking and/or being assfucked by men in prison and has supposedly found god, a common tactic from hard-timers to try and help reduce their sentence and garner favor

on the topic of god, there is very suspect evidence of a kind of divine or universal irony in this case and all of it was caught on camera

The crime is horrifying but also KHNO as fuck, from the bodycams, to how he disposed of his own babies, the paranormal aspects,the trial, the home videos, the forensic aspect, the motivation, the interrogation... *chef's kiss*

he wanted to avoid alimony rape

he never had his peeunus weeunus gorilla gripped by a tight and hot butthole

Same anon, for what it’s worth.

Yes she had a very blatant case of munchausen by proxy. Those girls were going to grow up with a lot of issues regardless of what chris did

on the topic of god, there is very suspect evidence of a kind of divine or universal irony in this case and all of it was caught on camera

Now THIS is like to hear more on

Because:

Kessinger (mistress) searched Google for hours about topics related to "marrying your mistress"

Watts searched Google for the distance from the moon to earth

Watts searched Google for Mount Colima. He preserved an image of the volcano spewing lava and smoke

Watts searched Google for another volcano nearby

for over two hours Kessinger searched Google for wedding dresses

Kessinger spent 45 mins searching "how to prepare for anal sex" and "the anal sex guide", also watched a bunch of anal porn

Watts searched Google for the Dead Sea Scrolls (?)

Watts searched for his kids' school number and told them they weren't going to attend it anymore the morning he killed them

shortly after disposing of their bodies at well site, Watts searched Google for the lyrics to "Battery" by Metallica

cops come to chris' murder mcmansion

(i can't remember if they were called by someone else or he called them to try and get ahead of murder accusations)

start questioning him

he's obviously guilty

they involve the neighbors

oh, turns out the neighbors have been specifically monitoring him

they pretty much have direct hard evidence of him murdering his family, like 60% of the puzzle pieces

bodycam footage is framed perfectly to have him silently panicking - full on head-in-hands freaking the fuck out as he watches his entire retarded plan and alibi and lie unfold

for some reason their security footage has commercials

they recorded two commercials in particular that appeared back to back

the first, depicting a fetus in a womb (shannon was pregnant at the time of the murder)

the second, a skull being coated and overtaken in oil (he stuffed his kids and wife into oil drums on his work site)

nobody notices this or mentions it

obviously i tried to avoid saying "divine intervention" or "god was there" because if "god was there" personally i'd kind of assume he'd keep two little girls from being fucking brutally murdered by their own dad - but there's definitely something weird and deliberate about it, kind of "greek god fucking with a mortal"

thx, the problem with documentaries and news reports is they often fail to properly categorize the characters because of dramaturgical or some other reasons.
in this case, they go off about how it's always been a beautiful young family and no one could've expected a thing, when in reality they were white trash nutcases who got together and raised a family before one of them decided to end the project in a spectacular way

the paranormal aspects

elaborate on that

I don't know anything about this case. Where can I read about how he actually committed the crimes?

True. It looks hot but it feels weird.

holy kino, pic related i guess

ask a chatbot or look for a documentary.
or better yet, stay in this thread and let the people tell you everything one post at a time

i've been on this shithole website since i was 12 and i still will never stop spoonfeeding. i LOVE to answer questions and give advice and help people and share knowledge. i fucking LOVE it. I FUCKING LOVE IT

the paranormal aspects

elaborate on that

youtube.com/shorts/UHgG-tN4y98

You're a pure soul even after spending so many years on this shitty board. Stay based

Not when I get vaginally creampies 180 days of the year but only anal ones once a year.

Butts are for pooping

Figure out yourself bro it's much more satisfying to see it on your own

Not until I'm done with it.

based

Yo JCS or whatever make a new vid i know its you.

It's a barrel of laughs for the whole family.

got on roids met a nice slut (like a real one) had no idea how to work through his problems just wanted the nice slut forever

divorce=no money
roids=poor decisions

and here we are.

i hope what i said isnt true but its awcums fr

(not even real roids like 50 test.....)

Yeah the neighbor showing up in his living room and those weirdly specific ads playing are the peaks of the whole story

It's categorical for me. I'll gladly spoonfeed on lots of things but I wouldn't want to ruin a proper chris watts discovery package

posterior buzzed

the devil may hav ebeen annoyed at the retard anon.

yo wtf
a man's urge to fuck ass has broken the barrier between the living and the dead

Oh uh just one more thing. Are your kids in those drums or are they buried somewhere on your employer's work site?

his neighbor notices something is wrong when his wife doesn't post to instagram for like 3 hours

calls the cops to visit their house

the cops call chris while he's driving back from murdering them to ask if they can enter his house to look for shannon

he says no

He had to get it on man.

arf?

everyone overlooking the NC shirt

because if "god was there" personally i'd kind of assume he'd keep two little girls from being fucking brutally murdered by their own dad

Joke's on you, God gets off on that shit

so go to prison forever instead?

it's nice for ESL foreigners who aren't accustomed to mutt culture apart from what one can see in the movies or shows.
you'd obviously never get the full picture out of a netflix documentary or news reports, instead you'd have to dig through countless reddit threads, many of which are also heavily sanitized

Best watts meme

1 netflix doc (or any full length doc). 1 youtube video and 3 Anon Babble threads and you should be set

I still dont get if he's a Steeler supporter or a Tar Heels fan

this is all fake and gay and retarded

Not to forget the happy as fuck interviews he gave the media the same day. KEK.

I bet you faggots don’t even ponder the distance to the moon

quarter million miles, dipshit

Both, one is professional and the other is college.

his neighbor notices something is wrong when his wife doesn't post to instagram for like 3 hours

God that must’ve been a fucking nightmare to have someone like that as a wife.

correct.
if you had a ladder how long would it take to climb (to the moon)

get to work broski

About the distance of 10000 thrown chicken nuggies

now do a quarter million push ups, dipshit

I thank God every day my wife almost never posts to social media more than annually

aren't they in different states though?

Yes

reminds me of gabby petito and honestly on a greater scale makes me wonder just how often boomers used to discreetly murder their annoying bitch wifes back in the day before social media and surveillance made it impossible to get away with

Because the data is already available. No need to ponder.

This probably isn't true. A better explanation is that he was looking up hiking locations, places to go with Nichol, and some of them happened to be dead/dormant volcanoes

lmao, go back and look at his searches again
he was absolutely looking to dispose of the bodies in a volcano

>low IQ

I've posted about this before, but it's hilarious and interesting: in one of the prison interviews he did with the original investigators from the JCS vids after transferring to a prison in WI, they asked him about the admissions process and he said he was given evaluations by a prison psychologist, including an IQ test. They asked how he performed, and he said "130, something like that." This is recorded audio that was on YouTube, probably wouldn't be that hard to find. It would be hilarious if Watts WAS actually able to get that score, and just happened to be so weird and careless and impulsive anyway, that his life turned out went the way it did.

It's certainly *possible* to have a genuinely high IQ and be "incapacitated" in other ways that lead to shit like getting yourself into a terrible family/marriage situation, by not carefully planning and thinking about your actions, but Watts obviously isn't what you call "smart." IDK, weird shit.

was easier to just pack up a car and leave in the middle of the night never to be heard from again living 3 counties over for 50 years

they don't do iq tests, this would be an insane waste of resources.
iq tests take half a day with a phd to oversee the thing

youtu.be/FNauBvH_sM4

best place in the world

stick your dick into nasty poopholes instead

I don't get it. Are you just used to loose white women? There's no way they can compare to a nice east asian pussy.

It's all real, are you saying the police put fake voices in the bodycam footage? lol ok.

Don't look up the actor from lost highway whose wife was mysteriously murdered

Is this true crime kino like the Watts doc?

kek, she sounds like another retarded whore who'd end up dead all the same after chris found the next bimbo to fuck up the ass

Sexy version of last of us girl

insane waste of resources

oh sweet summer child

Is only 32

Already half Gray

Holy fuck does married life to someone you hate do that to you?

1st degree withholding of nuggies.

i've been on this shithole website since i was 12

me own fookin son

Ir's mostly genetic. I started getting my first grey hairs at 24

reddit faggot thinks big prison is just raking in cash

you realize private prisons are shutting down like crazy due to no money right? they cut corners like crazy because they are underfunded

Holy shit retard
I never said prisons were raking in cash
You said huge waste of resources and I laughed because that has never stopped a government entity before

i mean he managed to live an entire year with her before making a change of plans.
also

pushing 70 and still marrying a notorious lunatic

he surely could've gotten somebody that was more stable

government entity

you think all US prisons are federal?

that stubble on bella

Nah, his dumb ass finally felt loved by a woman for the first time.

This should cheer you up.

man really was ass drunk the way he wrote FIRSTS

No, anal is overrated.

half based, half cringe

same here, only it was at 20 when the barber noticed the first single grey hairs.
now at 35 my hair is still like 99% brown with only the odd few strands being grey which makes the hair itself look shiny from a distance

he loved the giggle

absolutely looking to dispose of the bodies in a volcano

How can you tell?
He searched for two specific volcanoes that are in Mexico, so maybe he was planning some sort of honeymoon-like trip to Mexico with the mistress.
Thinking of driving all the way from Colorado to Mexico with the bodies would be retarded even for him

qrd on the "arf?" meme please
k9 search?

...

The dog is asking Chris if the same thing is going to happen to him (like Cici did in the original, but dogs can't speak English, so it says "arf") and Chris is saying "nah we cool". You infer that's what the dog is asking by how Chris responds, and there in lies the humor in the absurdist joke.

giving anal, no.
receiving anal? yes

so they had a family dog and he didn't kill it?
that was really kind of him

the dog asking if he's getting stuffed in an oil barrel as well

The first day I had the guts to put it in your butt, I got lost in that stunning brown eye. The first day I hung out in your ass, I knew I was addicted.

What did He mean by this?

Sincerely, giving a famous prisoner a legitimate IQ test does not seem in any way too wasteful spending for a modern state govt and certainly not the US govt. Wouldn't even make a govt accountant blink.

i bet they still write letters to each other and send nudes and shit

he saved some random guy a lot of grief from that future crazy bitch

I want to torture the guy but this still makes me laugh uncontrollably for some reason

I don't think he would be calling her an evil harlot in his writings to other women if that was the case. His prison conversion into a dumb religious freak seems pretty sincere

giving a famous prisoner a legitimate IQ test

does it make sense from law enforcement's perspective?
they often try to avoid mysticising certain kinds of criminals, shit like mass shooters for example after having seen how the columbine news circus might've inspired tons of other spergs to do similar stunts.
having a family annihilator turn out to be supremely intelligent might be a bad idea

I can't imagine having such a nosy neighbor that's always recording you and scrutinizing your behavior ready to tattle on the police about you

The neighbor is the real bad guy in this story.

just paranoid due to having sociopaths as neighbors

being showered in his own shit-tinted cum froth as Nichol braps out his load

holy kino

Brown skin detected.

Those kids? Yeah, they were kinda cool I guess. Send me a friend request to my Xbox live account if you see them.

I have a neighbor like that, but he's a cop so it cuts out the middleman

Yeah and honestly I don’t even really want to see them again. Or my bitch wife. Yeah, sorry not sorry.

you’re horribly ignorant if you don’t think they can spend money on prisoners in even stupider ways

don't mind me I just did the same thing but got away with it

fbi isn't even looking for me anymore

Why did he kill his kids?

this guys face just pisses me off

spend money

i'm not the anon you were arguing with about that

Don't read into this one. Witness accounts destroy the official timeline and his house literally blew up like a weapons depot. Some weird shit.

dude could have had a Breaking Bad tier midlife crisis and died in a fentanyl lab explosion

instead vents by killing his family because hes low IQ

yeah we got kino but not the kino we deserved

no sense of fashion or style at all

lives in nondescript suburb

zero sense of cultural identity

wealthy but uneducated, works vaguely blue collar job

wife is involved in random spiritual/business BS for unknown reasons

This is literally my whole extended family too. Is there a term for these kinds of people?

american?

Is there a term for these kinds of people?

middle class american

I hate Anon Babble shtick about NPCs but this guy was genuinely a moronic NPC

www.google.com/search?=how-to-build-a-catapult

www.google.com/search?=longest-catapult-distance

www.google.com/search?=how-gravity-works

www.google.com/search?=is-antigravity-real

www.google.com/search?=private-spaceship-rental

wealthy but uneducated

They weren't wealthy, they had ok incomes but were about $100k in dept despite going through a bankruptcy 3 years earlier

wealthy but uneducated

chris was in debt tho.
but yeah, that's the middle class. or at least what it used to be, back when a factory worker could afford to house his wife and 2-4 children and still be financially well off.
these types of families have been on the decline since around the 80s

*debt

Chris watts turned 40 today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Are you kidding

Today is my birthday too!

was he planning to catapult his dead wife and children to the moon or something?

once you get a taste of beelzebubs crevice its over

Hope a midlife crisis (does that happen when you're serving life in prison?) increases his chances of offing himself

Living in a McMansion means you're dealing with an "HOA", which is invariably made up of the most antisocial and paranoid people imaginable. Security cameras everywhere (including filming other people's property), vaguely threatening anonymous letters in your mailbox, arbitrary fines for nonsense "violations" (your relative visited for the weekend and parked their car in your driveway? AAAAIIIIIIEEEEEE I'M GOING INSANE!)

I did landscaping for a while and roughly once a week you could expect an insane yenta type to materialize pointing her phone camera an inch away from your face and threatening to call the cops because "my brother knows the DA, I can make it so you never work again, this is going on all of my Facebook groups!" etc etc etc. Not for any specific reason, they just didn't want people near their property even though they'd specifically hired people to come to their property.

normalfags

It pains me to admit but the Jews were right on the money (heh) when they started calling people "goyim"

Losers, both reddit and Anon Babble, idolize this lifestyle

dewd I wish I could afford a suburb house and a nuclear family with my wagie job

Chris Watts is what that life really looks like. Depressing.

American neighbours are so weird, why do they time everything their neighbours do? If this case happened in Europe he probably would've gotten away with it

having sociopaths as neighbors

they werent sociopaths

gabby petito

still don't understand the appeal of this case

nice try, moshe
what’s the alternative to having your own house and family?
Degenerate gay butted in your rented apartment until you die of aids?

Thank you for your service.

bro he was literally a deranged psychopath, not an average guy lol

Cops got called by Shannons best friend who dropped her off at the house like 6 hrs ago and didn't immediately respond to her texts so she knew something horrible must have happened.
The idea that maybe Shannon was still sleeping or didn't want to instantly respond to her texts never even crossed her friends mind, she goes for the automatic nuclear option and its even more hilarious that she was 100% right.

idk but the normie suburban life sucks
Look what happened to the 50s kids. They all lashed out and became degenerate assholes who hate everything.

The neighbors are the same minus the family annihilation thing.
Cant even keep their nose to themselves. Imagine having them as neighbours when you arent a murderer.

checked
she was a social media figure portraying a life of travel and adventure that many retarded young cunts tend to romanticize, thus she had hundreds of thousands of followers.
add a """""mysterious""""" disappearance and weeks worth of ambiguity and you have a simple murder and soon to be suicide that have been blown up way out of proportion.
people love the showmanship and drama, shrimple as

Most women love anal, dude.

start sniffing this

He just had a nosy neighbor, it wasn't normal.