Hey anon, got anything fun planned for the weekend?

Yeah Roy and I got invited over to Karen's for a little party.

mind if I tag along?

smile half-way, brow knitting, don't actually say anything, just painfully smile and nod for several seconds

lean against counter and get really close

nod and carefully relax my asshole so my farts can just slowly evacuate my body into the lower pressure environment of the surrounding office - being close hides my handwork of kneading my tummy to get all the farts out

grunt quietly and continue nodding as the radioactivity of my immediate space skyrockets

they're probably noticing the shit smell by now

"oop i think that was my desk phone"

quickly walk away but do it in a circuitous, arcing loop so they never actually see my backside completely in case i sharted

Strategic anon.

>"oop i think that was my desk phone"

Reminder that he settled for the sloppy seconds of a factory Chad.

Reminder that Pam sucked and fucked the sound guy.

Imagine being intimidated by

too cool for a paper company

get a job I respect more? *smugface*

and

I’m an artist, I painted our office building and the reception desk

Probably masturbate and fall asleep. I'll just cycle between that for the new couple days.

Tonight I’m gonna pound steelies and eat chinese food until I pass out watching Matrix Reloaded
Tomorrow I’m gonna wake up at noon, get irrationally angry that it’s a nice sunny day outside, and sit around in my bathrobe and false start the dozen or so books on my nightstand again. When it gets dark I will throw some clothes on and buy more steelies, a pack of camels, and maybe some canned ravioli (I like it cold right out of the can) and then I will sit on my porch and try to pierce a hole in the sky by gazing at it hard enough
Sunday is wide open, I might throw rocks in the pond or glass bottles at the dumpster. I haven’t decided yet.

canned ravioli (I like it cold right out of the can)

Most based poster on this board. Made spaghetti last night so it'd be nice and cold for dinner today.

No

mowing the lawn and washing the car and picking up groceries

Nah I'm actually free for the first time in a while why you got something goin on?

They invite me, I don't go, and then I lie and say a family member had an injury and I needed to be there when in reality I was getting hammered in my room alone

come monday morning I will to lie to my co-worker about my weekend and most of your replies are boring. cmon give me something good to lie about on monday

going to see if I can suck some dick tonight

thats gay dude let him suck you thats not gay

its a "group of women I work with ask me stuff like this and ask about my dating life while the others giggle" episode

answer the question

I wish I could just stfu and clock in and clock out at work but instead I’m forced to talk to people. I try to put up a front but it’s flimsy as fuck

Even if I do, I always say 'no'
I put in for PTO at work, my boss asks me where I'm going, I always say 'nowhere'
I once went on a cruise to the Bahamas without anyone knowing

Stop trying to collect intel on me, niggers

oh shit you're right, that was a close one

i am a widower single dad and my 12 year old daughter’s budding womanhood is driving me mad. She has taken to prancing adoubf the house in her panties and a tshirt that is too small. She is boldly acting like a little cocktease. She looks just like her mother did the first time i saw her the summer before junior high. I was too scared to have sex with her mother at that age. But im probably going to pop our little girl’s cherry this weekend. I hope the smiles down from heaven.

the same thing i do every day, mom

WAGIES LMAO

"No, not really. Me and my friends kind of drifted apart years ago and now I feel like it's too late to rekindle those friendships. There used to be a time when we met up a lot. I sometimes feel very lonely but I don't really do anything against it. Perhaps I will cry myself to sleep tonight, too. It wouldn't be the first time ever since the dread of knowing my youth is over set in and now everything feels hollow empty. But that's a highlight for me because I at least feel something in these moments. I sometimes feel like I should kill myself because really, why not? But anyway, thanks for asking."

Nice digits, incest hebe LARPer

kek

leave her cherry alone you weirdo

When's your lunch break, Fed-kun?

I'll be masturbating to gay furry porn again

Hookers and cocaine.

That's depressing. You're bumming me out man.

I work tonight
But I'm gonna spend the next 3 days taking GBL and alcohol watching anime and playing videogames. Then after one day of withdrawal I will spend the day mountain biking around the forest alone. Then 3 days in a row working 12h again. I just don't care anymore and I'm not even depressed.

I've been doing it every weekend for 14 years, It's not so bad. Nothing else compares.

Jim: yeah it's gonna be a blast all your *friends*

Pam: looks away and snickers

oh hey Pam, I heard Michael pump dumped your mother. Guess she’s single again, so I’m going to give her a call. Me and all the guys agreed on a rotation plan so we all get 3 weeks with her. Can you let her know I’ll be picking her up at 7?

oh hey Jim, didn’t see you there. By the way, I heard Roy is in the parking lot waiting for you.