The patrician choice for best Segal kino
The patrician choice for best Segal kino
watching him beat up an army of goofy jamaicans while never getting hit once is a pleasure
Steven Seagal is fat
The chick he meets at the club in Jamaica is the hottest piece of black pussy I have ever seen
hell no
executive decision
above the law
out for justice
There's no such thing as "Seagal kino"
Under Siege is his only decent movie and it only really stands out because how dogshit everything else he's been in is
A man of taste. Best segal movie before under siege. Out for justice is great too. To bad they cut out half of Richie's story cause segal got out classed in acting.
ram charger car chase into a mall fight KINO
I just rewatched Under Siege 2 and I was left wondering how Steven Seagal ever got a career in movies. Also Eric Bogosian did a better villian than Tommy Lee Jones
It's obviously On Deadly Ground if you're a Seagalhead.
NPC opinion. Anon Babble is a birthday snatching board.
Out of Justice will always be my favorite Seagal kino.
SpaceIce's is the best because he watches all of his dogshit movies so no one else has to. I literally had no idea about his filmography and the absolute state of it until I found his channel:
uses blatant body and stunt doubles for everything physically demanding such as walking upstairs
does a fight scene while sitting in an office chair
snatches every motherfuckers birthday
loves the shit out of cookies
awkward slapfest fighting style
runs like a girl
mumbles his lines often getting dubbed over and sounds nothing like him.
nonsensical plots, clearly just money laundering scheme films
There's a part of me that almost wants to like him and his stuff; gunfights, car chases, explosions, martial arts, rogue operatives, drug cartels getting comeuppance, most movies involving untrustworthy government agencies. It sounds grwt on paper, but when its written by someone half-retaeded that just wants to molest another underage actress in his trailer, it gets really skewered.
The dream quest is fucking hilarious
no amount of contrarianism will make Seagal movies any good
The bar scene in On Deadly Ground is the best 5 minutes ever put to film
You wan de punani?
Not a single mention of his best movie
Mason
That explains everything.
There's a rumor that a couple of directors in the 80s made a bet that actors don't matter at all and it's all about the director, and to prove it he'd grab a random talentless schmuck and turn them into a star. If you believe the tale, Seagal's career was the result of that bet.
Its Under Siege and all of you are fucking wrong.
Under Siege 2 is comfy kino too
yes
Somehow this balding greasetrap got to put his dick in prime Kelly LeBrock, it is genuinely not fair bros.
His kids also no longer talk to him, so who knows where else his greaseball fingers went where they ought not too. That and several female costars.
*blows up giant oil refinery*
We did it Steven, we saved the environment!
kek
and you can take that to the bank
Glimmer Man is pretty underrated. Seagal is untethered from reality in it.
laughed pretty hard when he's in a coma and the nurse looks at his cock under the sheets and blushes
A gigabyte of ram aughta do the trick
Actions movies back then were all about casting real world "tough guys" for the lead roles (van dam, chuck norris, bruce lee ...) acting was secondary
Above the Law for me
I'll take you to the bank Senator, to the BLOOD BANK!
Steven seagal? More like Kino seagal
I liked his sisters short hair and big floppy titties
Mason Storm
Nice
Can't beat Out for Justice but OP's choice is top 3
Out for Justice begins great and ends great but the middle act is just Seagal driving around questioning people
Everyone in this bread is wrong.
His best movie is fire down below
environment plot but actually done right
saves small towns America from corporate whack job played by Kris kristofferson
gets in a gun fight with randy Travis
native American themed outfits work
kino cast
kino location
over the top guitar scene
builds the one guy a porch
"you gotta have more than that son"
Its pretty good.
Shame he didn't do more buddy cop movies. He was good at it
You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.
The Glimmer Man was dogshit. Easily the worst Seagal movie that got a theatrical release
Good seagal movies
marked for death
out for justice
under Siege 1&2
fire down below
the glimmer man
Watchable
above the law
hard to kill
on deadly ground
Straight to video but not terrible
belly of the beast
out of reach
the keeper
Trash
flight of fury
pistol whipped
Not a seagal movie
executive decision
against the dark
Watched some of it but remember nothing
the foreigner
a dangerous man
kill switch
easy
EASY
What did he mean by this?
cia asset
mob ties
took on the yakuza
broke James Bond's wrist
made a film about the environment before Al Gore
Defeated the Warner Brothers
called out Tom Cruise
deputy sheriff
black belt in martial arts
action icon
international businessman
wine connoisseur
independent film star
reality TV star
dramatic TV star
author
screen writer
director
producer
musician
vintage guitar collector
time keeping enthusiast
energy drink line owner
Buddhist deity
Sex Symbol
Ambassador
friends with putin
Banned from a country for being a national security threat
climbed Hollywood in less than a decade
spared jcvds life
grew his hair back
based based based
1) Under Siege
2) Above the Law
3) Hard to KIll
4) Marked for Death
5) Out for Justice
6) On Deadly Ground
7) The Patriot
8) Fire Down Below
9) Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
10) Exit Wounds
I literally stood up and shouted KINEUX
You can take THAT to the bank!
How many are free to watch on youtube?
In an interview with Howard Gorman (via Bloody Disgusting) for Predator 2's 30th Anniversary, director Stephen Hopkins talked about almost casting Seagal in the sequel. Apparently, Seagal really wanted the role and invited Hopkins over to his house to talk about the movie. Hopkins explained that it was one of the strangest experiences of his life, with Seagal showing off his gun collection and offering to launch grenades with the director.
“I had to go and have a meeting at his house. Which was one of the craziest afternoons I’ve had. […] … it was a bizarre… he’s a very unusual, slightly twisted kind of guy. In the end, I couldn’t see myself doing it with him. He was desperate to do it. I went into his house and he took me into a room where all the walls were covered with guns. He told me he wanted to play a CIA-psychiatrist who was also a martial arts expert who carried a gun. He was clearly a little crazy at the time. And I was like this is different than the way we’re going so I guess we shouldn’t do it.
“He said, ‘You know, I want you to come to my house in Santa Barbara.’ He said, ‘I’ve got a grenade launching range there, we can launch grenades together’. I said, ‘Yeah… great, we’ll do that’... Sorry, I’m not a fan of his.”
Is that supposed to make me not like him? Sounds like an absolute lad.
I have no idea. Even the staright to video ones I rented from family video back in the day from the 2 for 1 section
Its just a good story. Also think predator 2 would've been better with him being some insane cia dude.
Part of the problem with 2 is, while Glover does a good job, going from soldiers to a cop seems like weaker game for the predator
He would have just broken all the predator's wrists.
ME WANT DA PUNANI
Under Siege is absolute dogshit.
I remember watching one where he has amnesia and has to remember how to fight and revisits his dojo and meditates and always wondered how this movie went because I didn't finish it.
builds the one guy a porch
Was it Beansie?
No it isn't.
offering to launch grenades with the director.
Erika Elaniak was top 0.00001% sexo. And hilariously obviously uncomfortable when Segal kisses her at the end of the movie.
Because he came onto her despite her objections so many times it became a problem. TLJ also kept calling him Steven Seagull and leaving raw fish in his dressing room. There was also an incident where he tried to berate an ex-soldier turned actor because "he was holding the gun wrong" and Steven ended up begging him for forgiveness when he found out he was a real soldier
Dad's collection.
Based dad with degrees in Kinology and Segalogy
that shitty shop of Segal's face on Executive Decision.
Lmao, doesn't he die like 20 minutes into it?
Is that the one with Senator Trent?
I like that one. That's the best.
youtube.com
the one on the boat is better, i forget the name
Why is Michael Jai White constantly seething about this guy?
Another movie from dad's collection. I only discovered this in the shed last year; I binge watched Takeshi Kitano's movies a few years earlier. Was surprised to see this DVD.
overdue blockbuster rentals
return them nigger
It's alright, I'm a member.
under siege