18F. watched conclave yesterday.
immediately fall madly & violently in love with tedesco. i try to find other clips of the actor, it’s genuinely just him.
i have a wet dream of the fucking fascist priest the same night. i have had three wet dreams in my entire life, including this.
start obsessively doodling him in my sketchbook. my mom is learning how to draw, and has taken the habit of looking at what i’m drawing to look at my method.
“anon, that drawing is really good. is that a priest?”
explain tedesco. say i think he’s cute. keep it very pg.
my mom immediately looks violently disappointed in me. she shows my stepdad. asks to see tedesco.
“how old is he?”
“oh i don’t know…60s-70s?”
she looks more disappointed in me than i’ve ever seen her. she has genuinely caught me cutting and she did not look this disappointed.
i’m not looking for advice i just needed to get this out of my system. genuinely kill me.