the Force is unusually strong with him
who was his father?
....he had no father
The Force is unusually strong with him
....he had no father
Ok, but that's retarded. Human reproduction doesn't work like that. Seriously, who did you fuck?
checked.
she had to be raped
watto drugged her up and lent her out for a night. she is a dumb retard.
>....he had no father
why are women such liars
and they tell the most impossible lies to
Qui Gon's moves on the dance floor would make even the most hardened spice miners cry
Read between the lines. Watto was pimping Shmee out to every man and alien in Mos Eisley. Anakin had no father in the same way that Freddy Krueger had no father.
why don't these ypipo on tattoine get skin cancer
Why didnt the jedis stop this slavery? I thought they were supposed to be good people
Skin cancer has nothing to do with the Sun
we are so close to being able to create a darth jar jar edit of the movie
....he had no father
Nobody good or bad seems to have done much of anything in between episodes 1 and 2 as far as I can tell. Then everyone does way way too much stuff between 2 and 3.
>....he had no father
she was talking about jedi master Hi'Hadno Vader
anakin took his last name after obi Wan betrayed him
and he was a good friend
This means Anakin's father was a girl(male) who impregnated Shmi with her feminine penis.
I always liked how in the Bible Jesus becomes an intergalactic space tyrant before throwing God down an energy shaft right before dying because God was electrocuting his son.
The Book of Mormon went a little off the rails
it just means the father isn't important for whatever funny reason you predictable chuds can think of not that anakin is jesus
shit, watto fucked er
Even as a kid I just thought that was her way of saying his father abandoned them and she didn't want to talk about it. That's still my headcannon.
what an absurd explanation.
Turkey baster
Makes more sense than the Jesus allegory
Sheev learns the create life trick from Plaegeus
Sheev kills Plageus
Sheev creates Anakin inside Shmi using the Sith power
Sheev is the father
Watto didn't own them until well after Ani was born
Son of a Hundred Maniacs.
Are you suggesting she was raped?
force raped and force inseminated
But she had a lot of sandmen daddies lmao
bump
Anakin Solo?
I had no father and I grew up to be a 6'2 man.
She said Verr Wuznofarver.
Not to Georgie it doesnt
Debunked.
Not actually this guy. The point was he, maybe, or maybe just random chance, "fathered" him via pure force. Like Jesus, Joseph and Mary thought there was no actual father, at least not Joseph. It was the god du jour. Or something. Not a horny dood.
It's gonna be a thing to look back on fondly once society is destroyed by itself.
Very briefly, all the cool shit (artistically) that corpos have been holding back on is going to surge.
All IPs are going to get cracked open and the art-lovers will finally be able to truly experience good art.
Then, the civilized world will fall apart completely.
he was his own father
so you're saying he was solo?
kek, "He sacrificed himself to himself to appease his own infinite wrath."
1. The Force is hereditary
2. The Force is powered by midichlorians
3. Therefore midichlorians are passed down via the sperm (can't be the ovum since Slutshmi was not force sensitive).
4. Therefore injecting Jedi sperm into your bloodstream should make you a force user.
Wait
Is this an anti-messiah? Instead of being the chosen one to do good he is the chosen one to do evil?
Christ also didn't have a human father
So Jesus fucked his own mom?
Is this an anti-messiah? Instead of being the chosen one to do good he is the chosen one to do evil?
On the contrary. In Darth Plagueis novel Anakin was Force retaliation to Sith's grand design, when Hego and Sheev shifted the Balance in favour of the Dark Side. After such violation Force decided to clean up the forceusers house, incomptent jedi and hungry siths.
I may have gone too far in a few places
Lucas never explained it in the movies because he's a fat idiot but the original plan was that Sidious explicitly created Anakin using the force. The Jedi had a prophecy that there would be someone who would bring balance to the force, which was sort of true because Anakin kills the emperor in the end (until the sequels which fuck everything up).
never made any sense, did it? The only logical conclusion is, the writer was wanting you to feel guilty, despite having done no wrong, and was being hamfisted with the reason.
it wasn't rape it was force(d) sex
This. It makes more sense than believing the movie is actually telling us it was some immaculate conception.
I'm 50 and never had sex on this lawless planet, believe me
It makes more sense than believing the movie is actually telling us it was some immaculate conception.
Except that's exactly what the movie is telling us.
This makes these two cousins, by the way.
jedi master Hi'Hadno Vader
anakin took his last name
This is what I'm going with from now on
This never stops making me giggle. What a disaster the sequels were