ITT: Unrealistic Movie Plots

No one, and I mean no one, makes it to 30, let alone 40 without getting laid unless they’re horribly disfigured.

i had sex with a hooker when i was 28 but i couldn't cum. i still don't have a gf

same but I was 26

missed being berated by these threads and confirming how much of a loser I am. 31 by the way. Living with parents too.

Why didn't you cum? Maybe try again with a hotter hooker

I lost mine late and so far I've only been able to fuck mentally ill, fat/chubby art hoes. Sadly I think this is the best case scenario for guys like me.

Turning 41 this year

Yeah, a joke, ha ha ha.

Another thinly veiled incel thread meant to boo hoo about women and life being unfair.

PROTIP: deal with it, losers

Bro, how high were they when they came up with this shit, for real? I can't even imagine it.

t. demiurge

21 more years for me bros. Its over

We are. These threads are a means towards the process of healing in our journey of life.

Not all bachelors are incels

Somehow he, like many, think that women can insert themselves into, and consequently ruin, everything but other groups cannot do the same.

Healing

More of a slow, more comfortable acceptance of solitude and death.

Incel

This word lost any meaning it ever had. In fact, how can you be hopelessly celibate when prostitution exists? Hell, world's best profession!
Frankly, it's mostly used against anyone who holds any politically incorrect view/opinion.

best

heh. Oldest!

It may have gone like my fist time, when I didn't really know what to do and how to move, got nervous, and went limp, which pretty much traumatised me towards sex and intimacy. I got over it eventually, but I was super lucky and still sometimes end up fumbling what little action I miracolously get

it's mostly used against anyone who holds any politically incorrect view/opinion.

It went the way of "troll" in the sense it lost its original meaning and turned into "person I dont like", although in the case of "incel" there is an anti-male component to it.
I shit you not, I have seen men with children being called "incels".

I'm also trans btw

When I see a cute girl outside I spend the rest of the day sad that she's not my girlfriend.

its funny to see zoomers realize jewish tricks and the lengths they went through to get white women on set. Easier to prey on a woman with a nonsensical plot. Imagine trying to be a rapist like harvey producing arthouse shit. Jews are incredibly perverted and there's hundred of sex perv romcoms

Why didnt the writers of this movie show the part where he becomes terminally online and radicalized into some cringe neo nazi faggot like the turds on Anon Babble? Would have been way more realistic

Don't have to be ugly, just a normal looking but shy/asocial guy that never approaches women. Not that rare these days

Normal, shy/asocial basically means ugly like how when you're handsome, you're also smart witty intelligent funny amazing etc by default.

I hate a cute girl basically throw herself at me while I spilled spaghetti in my freshman year of college and that's how I lost my virginity. She fucked me for 3 months before ghosting me and I haven't had any female contact in the 15 years that followed lol

I just turned 30 2 months ago. I'm 6'3, good looking, and still haven't even kissed a girl. My coworkers, grandparents, parents keep asking me when I'm going to get married and why I don't have a girlfriend. If only they knew lol.

It's a 2005 movie

i'm unironically a 33 year old virgin

I'm ironically a virgin

about to turn 28 in 2 days
done pretty much everything except sex, how joever is it for me?

blowjob was overrated

eating pussy also overrated

what’s the fucking point of sex if it’s not with someone you like? casual sex sounds retarded as fuck

Turning 26 in a few months, never had a gf, a kiss or held hands with a girl.
Looks like I'm on the right track.

just turned 35
i thought there might be a possibility of it happening to me, but i didn't expect it to happen this quickly

first just need to stop being mad all the time

You are and I mean you are a fucking retard troll.

how do you get to the mouth stuff but not manage to get to the next step?

casual sex sounds retarded as fuck

it is, I don't get why some people like it so much

I am fairly certain my anger has been/is justified. Also, you know who I never see smile?
Guys with gfs, lmao.

Perhaps a kino recommendation involving a character angry no matter how good he has it?

what did you get for your archmage powers?

I fucked a fat 23 year old last week. Was not worth it.

Is that her?

Bruh, it's been 21 years since i last had sex...

Not disfigured, not even that bad looking, just really bad with women and the few who i do hang around with at work and social events are way too young for me.

(you) were the first angry reply in the thread

go up to cute girls and talk to them, anon, they love cute dudes like yourself

I can trick my brain into believing my body is engaging in the act of sex, ha ha!

couldn’t get a boner and the one time i tried to put my dick in a vagina i pushed my dick against it and it like didn’t go in but like squished against it and insta lost the boner because i freaked out over fucking it up

I see, it seems like casual hookups really aren't for you and that's ok. Fwiw that's unlikely to happen when you'll get with a chick that you actually care about

dont sugar-coat it, his dick doesn't work and he needs to get his t checked

no you retarded faggot, the other anon is right, i had no feelings for this girl at all, just did it just cus i could at the time

gets rejected by fat girls

I am 30 years old and I never even kissed a girl

19

yeah you're fucked

I've had the same problem. You can't bruteforce it. It's like one of those liquids that turns into a wall when you punch it, but turns into quicksand when you touch it gradually and slowly. Just ease your way into it. Maybe I'd taken some wrong notes from porn I watched.

Is it true the hole is a lot lower than you intuitively think?

the hole is literally RIGHT next to their anus

like barely an inch apart

Hi, I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart.
I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything.
Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion.
Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult.
It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour.
Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly less they get inflated egos and think they're all that
They're just too close together, sorry, but it’s true.

That was me with my first gf. It took me like 20 tries before I could finally cum. Luckily she was crazy about my big dick so she worked it until I overcame my mental issues/anxiety.

i recognize this pasta

it's over for me i've spent too much time online

This is actually legit though. Dudes who never had sex or only had sex a few times don't know what it's like to have sex every week or more. Regular sex is a basic human need, especially for males. Dudes who don't have sex go down the masturbation route until they basically take themselves out of the game. But for dudes who regularly have sex, a month is crazy long. I didn't get this movie at all until I started getting girls.

Regular sex is a basic human need

eh. sure it is a need, but you can live without it (yes, even without masturbation)

Lost my virginity at 19. And i was one of the last in my friends circle

OH GOOD FOR YOU! AND HOW WAS IT!

it wasn't that long ago that literally any man who couldn't get pussy would at least see a prostitute from time to time

if a prostitute is my only option I'd honestly rather die a virgin

You've never been in a long term relationship. After 4 years with my ex, i would make up excuses not to fuck her

add a random hot bi girl who had her Snapchat on her tinder profile

adds me back and likes me and we hang out a couple of times but she's with her female fwb

one night I'm at a bar with my bro and cousin

randomly messages me asking to hang with her and her friend who's with her bf

actually goes and picks me up from the bar to go to the bar they wanna go

she pays for my drinks

couple we're with randomly disappear

gives me a ride home

I'm drunk so I say fuck it and grab her and we make out for like 10 minutes till she says get in the back seat. And she shows me she wore lingerie and said she was waiting for me to make a move

can't get hard to save my life

haven't seen her since

That's the last time I got close. Lost my Virginity at 19 but still feel like one because I'm awkward when it comes to sex

This is slowly happening to me. And I am definitely a good looking guy, work out go out and try to socialize, just awkward as fuck

For a good looking guy like him... It's impossible

Only reason I don't do this is because I'm too poor. And I'm not paying for a crackhoe.

Ok Mr. Al Bundy

24 years old

friendless khhv incel shut in NEET

been lying to parents over past 5 years about going to college when I actually dropped out the first year

since then I’ve been rotting in my apartment and blowing the “tuition” money they send me on twitch streamers, videogames, and delivery fast food

my mother is arriving in under 12 hours so she can be here for my “graduation” and my web of lies is about to be exposed

I think this character is a bit too pathetic. You can’t imagine such a lowly excuse for a human would exist in real life, r-right?

Truman, is that you? You're fucked. Keep us posted.

been lying to parents over past 5 years about going to college when I actually dropped out the first year

Why do so many anons do this, anxiety? Just stop paying the rent and join the army. Parents can't be mad if you are employed and atleast working towards something.

Yep, I make good money, own a house, and spend most of my time working (80+ hours a week). Haven’t dated in over a decade and haven’t masturbated in several years for religious reasons. Life is good and at this point I wouldn’t want to start another relationship without the intention of having kids.

I was born via cesarean section.
I will never touch a vagina.

blowing money on twitch streamers

is the worst one in my opinion and it says a lot about me.

There are people in way worse situations than you, if you want to start Anon Babble loser olympics you will lose fast.

In 12 hours you can finally stop living a lie, repent and start a new life. You are 24 years old, you can still become a decent man living a decent life by age 30 if you really want it.

What motivates you to work so hard when you don't have a family and aren't making efforts to have one?

Woman moment.

Raising your own children is one of the most masculine thing you can do. Its why niggers are full of estrogen

That's where you're wrong, fucko. I just have negative charisma.

what if you're 26

If you truly want it you can also become a decent man. The 24 year old will have a 2 year headstart though

I enjoy most of the people I work with and slowly crawling up the corporate ladder. Looking forward to a paid off house and traveling and maybe early retirement. I’d pursue a woman if I met one that was interesting but it’s been a long while since I have. Ran into a woman the other day at a bar with friends who was cute and hitting on me but definitely has a different set of values so I ignored.

Wow. You are just a little baby. 5 more years for me.

I lost my virginity when I was 16 and could have easily lost it sooner.
Buncha fags in here.

The real virgins post like this.

I'm akward as fuck but I literally just talk to them and got laid

Just keep firing you shots, you will land an inscure horny woman eventually

I'm a real virgin and I don't post like that.