Why did everyone hate Fantastic Four (2005)?

Why did everyone hate this movie again?

F4 is praised only by comictard extremists.
But in essence, its a lame group with farfetched villains. The 4 first movies flopped just because the source material was goofy and the production bad (despite Alba been hot as ever).
People just cant say the obvious nowadays.

Why did everyone hate Fantastic Four

They just not fun.

Leader is an elitist dork who magically gets the hot girl. Basically the self-insert of a 15yo.

Girl has lame shield and invisibility powers. Zero personality.

Fire guy is the self-insert of the 15yo at actually 15yo. "I'm super popular and all the girls love me."

Ugly guy just exists for lame jokes.

They were already rich and famous before their mutation. Then they just get their powers in like 2 minutes. How can the viewer relate to that. At least Iron Man had to suffer for months.

Not like the second set of FF had a better movie.

They just kind of sit around the Baxter building the entire movie

The movies also lacked the entire pulp sci-fi angle from the book, ehich is one of it's key components.

What do we do with characters famous for constantly having space adventures and discovering ancient civilizations?

I know, have them spend the entire film confined in a penthouse

It's like the producers thought just having the FF is enough to draw in viewers.
Guardians is basically what FF could have been (and Guardians didn't even have a name to rely on).

Yeah I watched it recently and it was very enjoyable. Way better than any new superhero movie. Granted, it’s a low bar, but still I think it’s a good 7/10 flick

I think it’s a good 7/10 flick

It's just a fun carefree superhero movie. The way it should be.
No 20 side character to tick DEI boxes, no convoluted story due to the 20 characters, no message, no global universe, no committee.

The casting is good which helps

Jessica Alba is mid. She's generic. She's who closeted guys like to pretend they're straight.

Proof: Name a female sex symbol, from any generation, who plays a superhero. A girl who's always being highlighted for her ass or tits. Barberella doesn't count, it was clearly a spoof.

You can't. They're always mids. You'd never see Christina Hendricks or Sydney Sweeney as a superhero. Alba is an interesting phenotype but she's not hot.

The first one wasn’t hated though and it did well enough that Fox ordered a sequel, it was the sequel that bombed and fucked over the first movies reputation

I don't think that's a fair metric for quality. Sheer enjoyement is an entirely subjective measure, and by it most capeshit should rank at least a 6/10. You're just confining a specific genre to a dafety box by not wanting it to be more than base fun.

The first one made a profit yet still came short of othercbm's at the time like Spider-Man or X.Men. Fan and critical recpetion, while not horrible, was at best mixed.

If you're into capeshit you can very well rate them relative to each other. You can't, because you hate them regardeless, but your voice is irrelevant here.

Reddit spacing typical from a homosexual.
Movies are pretty shit but they had fun pulp sensibility and stuff like johnny being a chad. MCU johnny now will speak of metoo or whatever. Anyway, jessica alba here is unbothered by any other sex symbols, for those who grew up watching these movies at least lol
Yeah heres the thing. I think stan lee only liked them for opening the way to explore cosmic shit in marvel. But they’re very uninteresting, except for johnny and the thing

You're jumping into personal assumptions of which you have no base for. It's because I'm into capeshit that I think "it was fun" is a weak metric for judgement.

Because the Fantastic Four are just a lame concept that should've been left in the 60s like the Howling Commandos with the 40s. Other heroes mostly reinvented themselves in the 90s or so, even Cap who is one of the most anachronistic ones focused more on his "man out of time" angle. The F4 never did, at most they just try to emphasize their weird family angle but they never feel like a family just like some weird sitcom gang of friends.

Like if you made the Incredibles but cut out the kids from the movie.

Both Lee and Kirby were into space age optimism; when reading the OG run, it's full of that adventuring spirit. There's a genuine enthusiasm in their years in the book, which made it their greatest collaboration.

I disagree in the last part. The FF are not only a family in name but actually behave like one, and have done it since the beggining of the book. Ever since the introduction of Valeria the dynamic has become even more porminant.

the main 4 members of my household family are my wife, my brother in law and my best friend

idk boss doesn't feel like a normal family. like I said maybe some sitcom friend-family but not an actually relatable one

jessica alba age in fantastic four movie - 23

vanessa kirby age right now - 36

Shes 38

They're too closely involved and emotionally attached, more so than a friend group like the Avengers and the X-Men (and unlike the latter they haven't all banged each other), and the presence of the kids is not superflous. There's Reed and Sue's paternity obviously, but Ben and Johnny do make a conscious effort as uncles to raise them correctly.

However the new film ends up being, I do think the inclusion of Franklin is a good approach since it allows them to delve deeper into the nature of the characters as a family unit.

But the kids aren't part of the main four and frequently aren't even in adaptations. Franklin isn't in this one until maybe halfway through when Sue gives birth, and even then he's just an infant not a kid with an actual character.

unlike the latter they haven't all banged each other

tbf there's only four of them and two are actually related.

I think stan lee only liked them for

Stan Lee did a lot of stuff that either never took off or only became popular later.

The FF are not only a family in name but actually behave like one

They don't behave like a family. Maybe like some obnoxious fake family from a TV ad. They don't even seem to overly care about each other.

when Sue gives birth, and even then he's just an infant

Summary of the movie.

Movie plot leaked months ago with specific stuff that was confirmed by the trailer (and recent scenes they released at the Mexican comic con or whatever it was of Sue giving birth in space)

Literally the only thing I remember about this movie is Jessica Alba

You um, know that Sgt. Fury's Howling Commandos is a WW2 set comic from the mid 60s, and the the new FF movie's set in the 60s right anon?

Hides the child

Natasha Lyonne

daughter of Orthodox Jewish parents

Oh no, hide baby Anne Frank!

we all know they aren't going to stay in the 60s retrofuturistic universe, besides I was talking about the Fox movie.

Slott's run inducted them as part of the team proper, yet even before that they had a pivotal role in a lot of stories; Hickman's run hinges entirely on the importance of fatherhood, threading it's story around the relationship of three generations of Richards': Nathaniel, Reed and Franklin. First Steps has him more as a prop than a character, but from the leaks the weight of the film is on the protection of the child.

tbf there's only four of them and two are actually related

Imo that drives's the point more. The size and blood ties of real life families sets up a barrier into sexual relationships, barrier which the X-Men don't have.

They don't even seem to overly care about each other

They do, the book makes the constant point that the reason they function as a team is because their family bond allows them to function as a unit on a level deeper than other teams. Half of the stories revolves around a particular dynamic between the group, and the ultimate statement about the characters is that despite their problems, they still run to each other since they recognize that's where their strenght is.
If the movies haven't been able to convine that, it's their fault, not the book's.

The size and blood ties of real life families sets up a barrier into sexual relationships, barrier which the X-Men don't have.

Richard is the lame protagonist and somehow Sue falls in love with him.
Sue has zero depth, which makes the new movie that focuses on her extra lame. "Look, I have a vagina!"
Johnny happens to be Sue's sister, but that's basically it. Often he fucks off because he doesn't really care.
Thing is there, but seemingly only because no one else wants him. As deep as a hand grenade.

The Ultimate Fantastic Four made this work by making them all teenagers and having them stuck in the building because the military was worried they would be a threat so they went about it with the angle that they were constantly sneaking out to go have adventures.

Because we were picky dicks in the 2000's and didn't realize what we had

If you think about it, the lameducks are sue and reed. If you had a buddy cop comedy with the thing and johnny it would be fun

Recently I watched the two FF movies again. Was alright. I haven't finished Cap4 yet (I stopped at the Jewish goblina) and didn't even bother with Thunderbolts.

Idk if them just being a small group makes them feel like a family. The GOTG are small and two of them are blood related but it doesn't make them feel like a family to me either. The Incredibles felt like a family because of their structure and they deal with extremely relatable family issues. A distant dad, a stressed out mom, awkward and hyperactive kids going through puberty etc. You're never going to find any incarnation of "The Incredibles" team that doesn't include the kids and look like a family, while 90% of the time you search for the Fantastic Four, and indeed in most of their adaptations, it's going to be Johnny, Sue, Reed and Ben, the kids just being like a DLC pack.

You can say they feel like a family in X run that actually makes the kids core and I'll take your word for it but it sort of sounds like saying Batman is a super family-oriented character because there are plenty of his runs that deal with his 30 different Robins and extended Batfamily.

Reed, Sue and Johnny have more to them and all serve a core role in the team. Reed is the genius who has genuine trouble in rrelating to the world, Sue is the voice and often reason of the team who helps his husband by grounding him to things other than pure and cold logic. Johnny is a hot-head who secretly desires commitement and responsability but is too enamored with his image to make progress, and they often help him out with that. Ben is already married and has adopted kids, and is constantly shown to be one of the most beloved heroes in universe.
Again, it's all in the comics, and one of the reasons the movies suck is that they stuck to the superficial aspects of the characters and made them their whole tenants.

they deal with extremely relatable family issues

FF doesn't have any of that.
Reed and Sue only ever have their wedding as a plot point.
Johnny is related to Sue, but not much happens there. They're just ok with whatever happens.
The Thing doesn't play any role. He isn't even a good weird uncle.

Again, it's all in the comics, and one of the reasons the movies suck is that they stuck to the superficial aspects of the characters and made them their whole tenants.

We're talking about the movies here. There are like twenty different version of the FF in comics. Sure one of them isn't lame.

>Sexy Prime Jessica Alba

Overrated

>Comfy Vibe

Bad world buiding

>Doom is well cast

His character is dumb in comparison to the comic

>Chris Evans is fun

He's annoying

>Cast has great chemistry

Not enough

That was only during the first third of the book, and even then, they constantly had adventures in direct defiance of the Baxter foundation or sponsored by them (like in the Doon and Negative Zone arcs).

I can concede to that, the movies have done a piss poor portrayal of the characters.

Nah, Benjy has showcased his good skills as a role model. There's a great story during Mark Waid's run where Franklin went through a traumatic event and went silent, Reed and Sue unable to reach to him. After Sue assures him that he'll always be safe with them, Ben steps up and flips the whole speech on it's head, telling Franklin that no, life isn't safe and there will always be danger around. It's unrealistic to pretend otherwise, and the right thing to do is not pretending problems don't exist, but having the courage to look them in the face and still go on. It's his words that finally break Franklin's almost catatonic state.
Beyond that, he's also been shown to be a good father to his adopted kids.

Difference is that Batman has an extended family cast which is constantly rotating, and the character wasn't intended from his conception to work solely around the family dynamic, unlike FF.

The FF weren't introduced with kids. Batman actually had an adopted son in Robin closer to his introduction than Reed did. Hell, Reed and Sue weren't even married at their introduction.

The marriage and kids weren't added in order to incorporate a family dynamic, they were the natural evolution of an already present element in the early days of the book. Even before Franklin, Reed and Sue where the father and mother of the team, while Johhny and Ben's relationship was akin to a sibling rivalry; the kids' inclusion later elevated them to the role of uncles, while still having their dynamic intact.

I'm not saying they were. I'm saying Robin is just as tied to Batman's conception, probably morreso given that Robin was created like 3 months after Batman was, as the kids are to the Fantastic Four. Still, I would never call Batman some sort of fatherhood character because his relationship is not like that of a normal father.

Reed and Sue where the father and mother of the team, while Johhny and Ben's relationship was akin to a sibling rivalry;

That makes them feel like less of a family and more like just some sitcom group of friends given most families don't have the "mom and dad" be the same relative age as the kids.

Big meandering middle and bad Dr Doom interpretation generally.

I get your logic overall, but I think it all stems from the distinction of diect family (parents and kids only) and relatives (where uncles, cousins, and in-laws go). It's also woth pointing out how the book and editorial insisted in the family lable since it was the novelty at the time; you rarely saw superheroes with that type of dynamic or personalities other than the prototypical boy scout.

Yeah that's what I'm saying. They don't feel like a typical American household family so trying to sell them as "superheroes but a family," doesn't work like it does the Incredibles, who very much do. They feel instead like some sort of idealized sitcom style friend/family group.

Doom is well cast

Okay and? It was still a shit characterization. No fault of Julian’s, of course, but it wasn’t a proper adaptation of Doctor Doom. It was a Norman Osborn-type wearing Doom cosplay. The 1994 one is unironically the best Doctor Doom we’ve had on film.

Stretchy powers are lame if you’re going to be a regular person 90% of the film anyways

The highlights were Ben, Johnny and the dynamic between the team; for the sequel the Surfer himself has decently used, even if they didn't delve into him that much. On the other hand, both villains were poorly realized, Reed and Sue come off as bland and a superficial reading of their comic counterparts, and the films just lack the pulpy spirit of the source material. They treated the team more as celebrities than adventurer-scientists, which is what they are first and foremost, even moreso than standard superheroes.

Because it's problematic to like that now.
Sue is hag and Johnny is gay in 2025. Reed is a retard who is only there to serve Sue

Not a comicfag so idc about dr doom like you autists but literally wtf are his powers

oh he does magic shit like wanda

??????? You cant blame studio execs for not knowing wtf does he actually do

The '94 film overall is the best FF adaptation we've had so far.

hispanic playing a white chick with blonde hair and blue eyes

Fuck this shit.

It's mostly his personality. Doom at his core is a rennaisance man, a guy to whom excellence is not enough. He has strived himself out of a miserable life (mother killed and trapped in hell, father persecuted and murdered for his Gypsy heritage, poverty, disfigurement, etc) to become his ideal image of perfection, to the point of conquering his own homeland and being a key political figure in the MU. He does have, however, such an enormous yet fragile ego that he allows himself to be controlled by rage and jealousy at the mere idea of someone being naturally better than him (Reed in science, Strange in magic, etc), even if they don't wish malice upon him. Despite his aspirations, his pride ends up getting the better of him. He's just a fun and complex character if written well, and the films didn't even attempt to adapt those facets by making him just a greedy fuck in the '00s duology and weirdly a basement dwelling eco-terrorist in Fant4stic. It's all worse by the fact that the MCU will just make him a Tony variant, so we'll likely never get a goo Doom on screen.

You just know that if the film was made today they'd be yelling Alba's casting as woke.

there were 2 movies.

first movie was enjoyable slop. it was a mid tier alright flick

part 2 was really mediocre. sloppy slop

modern movies are such shite slop that they seem good by comparison

powers

super genius who uses magic and tech. more or less dr. strange combined with iron man.

they dyed her hair and made her wear blue contacts, and alba was just one of the hottest actresses around at the time. what's your excuse for pic related?

I don't remember ever hating it. But it was an "also-ran" compared to the Spider-Man and X-Men films. Alba was a huge drawer for any film, but you could just fap to her Maxim spreads or whatever mag she was doing promotions in.

Nah. But similar to Moner, no one wants to come out and say she was peak at 16-18. Alba in Idle Hands was 10/10 horny.

It is possible to make Reed's powers look good. It looks good in cartoons like Elastigirls sequences in The Incredibles were a lot of fun but I feel like stretching looks kind of dumb in live action but maybe I'm just assuming.

It seems kind of telling they've barely showed his powers in the teasers/trailers tho.

Pic related

It sucked ass.
Besides, there WAS an outcry for having Sue being played by a latina, even John Byrne (one of the most important FF writers) started complaining. Difference is, we weren't in the middle of a schizo cukture war like now, and most people just acted indifferent. Even then, Alba was criticized as the weakest member of the cast.MRXHN8

People who attended the test-screening said his powers are pretty underwhelming. They're not underused in terms of screentime, but they're just basic stretching and never have Reed do some of the crazy feats he does in the comics.

lame, at least have him turn into a parachute or some shit

The first one was meh, the second one was fucking awful. That Reed Richards dance scene might be the stupidest thing ever put in a movie. It’s worse than the Spiderman 3 piano scene.